God's Comfort for a Mother's Cares

“When the cares of my heart are many, your consolations cheer my soul” (Ps. 94:19).

A mother has many cares for her children. No matter her children’s age or stage, their needs are never far from her mind. Many of her worries come naturally as the result of living in a fallen world where children catch illnesses, face bullies on the playground, and struggle with academics. In a broken, sin-stained world, she can’t help but have concern for their safety from those who might do them harm. She can’t help but worry about the temptations they face online and with friends. She can’t help but worry about their future.

Indeed, the cares of a mother's heart are many.

While the ESV translates the Hebrew here as “cares,” other translations use the word “anxiety.” “When the anxieties of my heart are many…” The word literally means “disquieting thoughts.” Consider the anxious thoughts you’ve had about your children. Those thoughts that keep you up at night and follow you throughout the day. Thoughts that never seem to let you alone. Thoughts like: What if this illness worsens? What if she gets behind in school? What if he doesn’t make friends? What if we can’t find the help she needs? What if we can’t afford…? What if…?

David Powlison once wrote, “anxiety presumes a great distance between God and my present concern.” But the psalmist reminds us that God does known about our anxieties and cares. This verse is a reminder that God isn’t far away. Our circumstances are not beyond his knowledge and care for us. In fact, the psalmist then tells us that God’s consolations cheer the soul. “Consolation” is another word for comfort. It’s the same word used in Isaiah 66:10-14 where the prophet compares a mother comforting her baby to God’s comfort and care for his people. The word for “cheer” or in other translations, “delight” is to soothe or stroke, just as mother does to calm her baby.

And that’s what the Lord does for us in our anxieties.

Psalm 94 is a psalm about God’s people experiencing injustice at the hand of their enemies. It calls them to wait for the Lord to enact justice on their behalf. And as they wait, to remember who God is for them. He is a covenant keeping God who “will not abandon his heritage” (v.14), whose steadfast love holds them (v.18), and who is their stronghold, a rock of refuge (v.22). In the midst of the fears and anxieties of this life, our God is with us. He comforts us with his presence. Even more, he is our helper and provider. He is our strength and our place of safety. Like a child with his mother, we can run to our Father and find the comfort and help we need.

Calvin comments: “The heavier our calamities grow, we should hope that Divine grace will only be the more powerfully manifested in comforting us under them, but should we through weakness of the flesh be vexed and tormented by anxious cares, we must be satisfied with the remedy which the Psalmist here speaks of in such high terms. Believers are conscious of two very different states of mind. On the one hand, they are afflicted and distressed with various fears and anxieties; on the other, there is a secret joy communicated to them from above, and this in accommodation to their necessity, so as to preserve them from being swallowed up by any complication or force of calamity which may assail them.”

I like how Calvin describes God’s comfort as a “secret joy” that God gives to us. He sees our needs and meets us where we are with his presence. He sooths our hearts with the truths of who he is. He helps us see that he is greater than our fears. And if we have any doubt of his provisions of grace for us, we need look no further than the cross of Christ. As Paul wrote in Romans 8:32, “He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?”

The reality is, we will experience hard and fearful and troubling things in this fallen world. As moms, we will feel anxious for our children. We’ll worry about their health, their growth, their friendships, their safety. We’ll worry about their future. We’ll think all those “what if?” thoughts. But God’s comfort keeps and preserves us from being consumed by our troubles. His consolations soothe our soul. We find him to be our refuge in all our troubles.

Father, I come to you with many concerns and cares for my children. My mind is often filled with questions of “What if this or that happens?” Forgive me for when my anxieties turn my gaze from you and onto my circumstances and I forget that you are greater. I know you love my children far more than I can, for you love with a perfect love. Be with them now. Shower them with your love and grace. Intervene in our circumstances and be our refuge. Comfort my heart. Sooth my soul. Give me that “secret joy” in the midst of worrying circumstances. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Photo by Bethany Beck on Unsplash

God's Promises to the Fearful

When I was teen, I went through a dark season of depression and despair. Everything in my life felt hopeless. The future was dark and bleak. I felt like I was at the bottom of a pit and no amount of clawing at the walls would pull me out of it. I struggled to get through each day—to put one foot in the front of the other.

At the time, I worked at my local library—one of my favorite jobs I’ve ever had! I often re-shelved books after they were returned by library patrons. As I placed the books back snugly in their home beside the other books on the shelves, I often flipped through them to see if they interested me. Over time, I found myself taking home books from the religion section, books written by Graham, Lewis, Sproul, even Joni Earekson Tada. I started writing down quotes from these books and posting them on the wall of my bedroom. Any Bible passages they quoted I memorized and tacked to my wall as well. These morsels of truth fed my hurting heart. I clung to those words which pointed me to the One who saved me. I put my hope in these promises, that while the sky was black as night above me, the light would one day return and penetrate the darkness.

And it did.

Do you have a favorite promise of God? Perhaps there is a passage you turn to time and time again to remind you that God is with you in your sufferings and trials. Or you rest in the truth that your salvation is secure, even though the devil tries to tell you otherwise. Or when the pains of life are unrelenting, you look forward to the promise of everlasting joy in eternity. There are numerous promises laced throughout Scripture, each of which are rooted in the meta-promise that God will be our God and we will be his people.

As I read and researched for A Holy Fear, I marveled at the numerous promises God makes to those who fear him. Even more, when I contrasted these promises to those of our lesser fears. For what does future fear promise but loss and sorrow? What does the fear of man promise but more rejection and heartbreak? Can the fear of harm promise rescue or deliverance?

All our lesser fears can promise is only more fear to come.

But for those who fear the Lord in the face of lesser fear—those who turn to the Lord in awe, wonder, worship, adoration, trust, and worship—are promised more than we can even imagine. Promises such as:

• Deliverance (Psalm 33:16-19)

• Satisfaction/Contentment in God (Proverbs 19:23)

• Friendship with God (Psalm 25:14)

• God’s Delight and Pleasure (Psalm 147:10–11)

• God will teach us (Psalm 25:12)

• Good for us (Psalm 34:8–10)

• Everlasting mercy (Psalm 103:17)

And there are many more found throughout the pages of God’s word! Each of these promises are rooted in the person and character of God, for whatever God says always comes to pass. God’s word does all that he wills it to; it never returns void: “so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it” (Isaiah 55:11). We can trust God’s promises for us because he is faithful. He is our promise keeping God.

Dear friend, if your fears overshadow you today, if they whisper promise of more fear around every corner, turn to the Lord. Come to the throne of grace and bring your fears before him. See him in all his glory and wonder and find him as greater. Fall before him in reverence and worship. Relish his goodness and faithfulness toward you. Mediate on and savor the joy of his promises for you. Hang it around your neck like a necklace, identifying you as his own.

As John Bunyan wrote:

“Child of God, thou that fearest God, here is mercy nigh thee, mercy enough, everlasting mercy upon thee. This is long-lived mercy. It will live longer than thy sin, it will live longer than temptation, it will live longer than thy sorrows, it will live longer than thy persecutors. It is mercy from everlasting to contrive thy salvation, and mercy to everlasting to weather it out with all thy adversaries. Now what can hell and death do to him that hath this mercy of God upon him? And this hath the man that feareth the Lord. Take that other blessed word, and O thou man that fearest the Lord, hang it like a chain of gold about thy neck—"As the heaven is high above the earth, so great is his mercy toward them that fear him" (Psa 103:11). If mercy as big, as high, and as good as heaven itself will be a privilege, the man that feareth God shall have a privilege.” (A Treatise on the Fear of the Lord, p.85).

Do you know God’s promises for those who fear him?

God Hears Your Wordless Prayers

I’ve always appreciated the disciples’ request for Jesus to teach them how to pray in Matthew 6. These men grew up hearing prayers in the synagogue. They knew the prayers of Scripture. They even heard Jesus pray. Yet, they wanted to learn how to pray.

I don’t know about you, but I have numerous books on prayer lining my bookshelves. Each one has helped me learn about the heart and purpose of prayer. Some books focus on specific prayers of the Bible, helping me to shape my own. Some provide written prayers I can pray myself. Some give practical tips on prayer, including ways to manage my long list of requests for myself and others.

Yet no matter how skilled we might be in prayer, no matter how well we construct and organize our prayers, no matter the length of our prayers, there are times when we come to the Lord and simply have no words. We stand muted before of the painful sorrows of life. We can barely breathe, much less give voice to how our heart is broken by loss or paralyzed by great fear. Prayer just seems impossible when it feels like we are drowning in despair, fear, pain, sorrow, or shame.

When I am made silent by the circumstances of life, I remember the psalmist’s words: “I am so troubled that I cannot speak” (Ps. 77:4) and realize I am not alone. I read the groans of David and hear them echoed in my own heart, “I am weary with my moaning; every night I flood my bed with tears; I drench my couch with my weeping” (Ps. 6:6). And I realize that what God wants most isn’t necessarily a stream of eloquent words, but “a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise” (Ps. 51:17).

That is something I can bring.

I can bring my broken heart.

Just the simple act of coming before the throne of grace reveals the contents of our heart. The Lord sees our humble offering and if all we can muster up is “Help me!” that is enough. For as the Apostle Paul encourages, “Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God” (Rom. 8:26-27).

The Puritan preacher, John Bunyan, wrote, “It should comfort your heart if the anguish of your spirit keeps your words few. The Holy Spirit stirs up your heart in groans and sighs so much the more vehement when your mouth is hindered. Though your mouth is hindered, your spirit is not.”

God knows and hears the groans of our heart. When we cry out to him and can hardly string a sentence together, he knows what we long to say. He knows the thoughts and intentions of our heart. He hears beyond the sighs of pain and the tears of brokenness. Even more, he hears the Spirit interceding for us, praying perfect and righteous words on our behalf. The Spirit takes our lisps and stutters and makes them holy.

When the difficulties of life mute us, remember it is not how well we pray, but that we pray. And may it  encourage our heart to know the Spirit never cease to groan to the Father on our behalf.

Father in heaven,

I come before you broken by the hardships of life. I feel the weight of my own sin, the sting of arrows flung at me from others, and the searing pain of loss and heartache. As David wrote, my tears flood my bed day and night. All I can do is cry out to you for help. Hear me, Lord. Help me, Lord. Help me to know you are with me. Carry me through this. Comfort me with your love. In Jesus’s name, amen.

When Fear Lingers

Many years ago, a co-worker and I witnessed a deadly motorcycle accident. We stopped at the scene and waited for the police and rescue to arrive. Afterward, I couldn’t get the images of the accident out of my mind. I saw them all during the day and they haunted me all through the night. At the time, I worked at a family counseling center and my boss was a psychologist so he helped me work through it. I never again returned to the intersection of that accident.

I shared here recently that I was in a serious accident over a month ago. I’ve had both good days and bad days since. Unlike my experience those many years ago, I can’t avoid the intersection where my accident happened because it is right by my house; I have to drive through it every day. One evening, I drove by an accident in the same location as my own and my body had a strong physical response. Another day, I drove through the same intersection and was startled by cars driving recklessly and angry honking horns. I cried all the way down the road.

To be honest, there are some days I’d like to never get in a car again.

As a counselor, I know how to help myself get through these difficult moments and how to help myself calm down. I also understand what is happening to me. As I wrote in A Holy Fear, “We are not just physical beings nor are we only spiritual beings; we are both, and as such, each aspect of our being affects the other. This means that our fears can affect us physically, or vice versa…for people who have experienced trauma in their life, their bodies remember that trauma long after the fact, often causing them to feel haunted by their past.” There has been much research in recent years on how the body remembers traumatic experiences. Retelling such experiences can be retraumatizing, further imprinting it in the body and mind. I’ve already seen how my body remembers the accident. This makes me be all the more patient with myself, knowing it will take time for my mind to heal from this experience.

Though I do wish this fear was like the fear I felt before a surgery—one that went away once I woke up from the procedure and realized everything was okay. Instead, this fear lingers on. I now feel like a new driver, cautious and hyper aware of other drivers. Life feels more fragile than ever. The natural fear of harm I’ve felt in times past is more profound now. The world doesn’t feel safe and danger lurks around every corner.

While I know God is greater than my fear, it doesn’t always feel that way, especially when my heart pounds and I feel nauseas and the tears start streaming. Some days, my fears seem large and imposing and I sometimes wonder if they’ll have the victory over me. All I can do in that moment is cling to what I know is always true, regardless of how I feel in the moment. That’s why I’m praying the psalmist’s prayer in Psalm 57, one David prayed while facing natural fears of his own. King Saul and his men were on a mission to hunt him down and kill him. David feared for his life. While in hiding he wrote, “Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful to me, for in you my soul takes refuge; in the shadow of your wings I will take refuge, till the storms of destruction pass by” (v.1). He looked to God as his refuge in the face of his fears. He sought the Lord to deliver him. Some days, the only prayer I can utter is as basic as “Lord, help me!” as I drive down the road. Though my fears shout at me to stay home and not get in the car again, I’m looking to the truth of who God is. I’ve set David’s words on repeat in my heart, “For your steadfast love is great to the heavens, your faithfulness to the clouds” (v.10).

The Lord has brought helpful friends into my life to encourage me and pray for me in these moments, a testimony of God’s kindness and grace. These friends have shared with me similar experiences they’ve had with car accidents and it is comforting to know that my experiences are to be expected and that things will improve in time. And, if they don’t improve, I will find someone to help me work through it. Meanwhile, I’m intentionally giving my mind and heart a rest.

These fears I’m facing are another reminder to me that this world is not as it should be. Natural fear is a glaring reminder of the fall of man and the pervasive impact of sin on this world. How I long all the more for Christ to return and make all things new! Until he does, I rest in the truth that he is with me and he will carry me through. I move forward one day at a time, facing my fears, and clinging to David’s words: “God will send out his steadfast love and his faithfulness!” (Ps. 57:3).

The Three Kinds of Fear

When I was a child, there was a song titled “One of These Things is Not Like the Other.” It was sung as a kind of game to teach children to identify what makes things the same and what makes them different. Often there was a photo of three or four items and the child had to choose which one did not belong with the others.

This is true with the word “fear” in the Bible. God’s word talks about three kinds of fear, but one of them is unlike the others.

Fear in the Bible

For those familiar with the Bible, it is common knowledge that “do not fear” is a frequent command found throughout Scripture. This command is often found in the context of divine revelation, such as when God’s people were called to fight a battle or when a prophet warned of pending punishment for sin. This command was intended to comfort God’s people and to encourage them to trust in him. One such example is when Moses led God’s people through the Red Sea:

“And Moses said to the people, “Do not be afraid. Stand still, and see the salvation of the LORD, which He will accomplish for you today. For the Egyptians whom you see today, you shall see again no more forever” (Exodus 14:13).

When the Bible says, “do not fear,” the word fear refers to terror or panic. There are two types of this fear in Scripture. The first kind is often called “natural fear.” It’s the kind of fear that comes naturally to humans in a post-fall world. We live in a world where there are natural disasters, pandemics, losses, violence, political upheavals, and more. We all know what it’s like to approach a dangerous situation and our heart starts pounding and our adrenaline spikes. We quickly move ourselves to a place of safety. Natural fear gets us to run out of a burning building or find safe shelter in a thunderstorm. Natural fear is something even our Savior felt as he faced the cross that was to come (see Luke 22:39-46).

The Bible also mentions another kind of fear and this is the kind of fear that rules over us. It governs our choices and directs our path. It’s the kind of fear that becomes a pattern and ready response to the circumstances of our life. This kind of fear is sinful fear because it keeps us from trusting in and depending on God. We instead turn our gaze to the troubles around us, rather than to the One who rules over all things. We often seek out false saviors to rescue us from our fears, including our own strength and wisdom, rather than God.

We see an example of such fear in Exodus 32, when the Israelites feared that Moses would not come down from the mountain where God was giving him the Law. Instead of waiting for his return, they built a golden calf to worship. We also see the Israelites fearing other nations that were seemingly bigger and stronger than they. When the spies were sent into the land of Canaan to assess what was there, all but two of the spies returned with a fearful report about giants in the land (Numbers 13). The Bible also talks about the fear of man, as when Peter refused to eat with the Gentiles because he feared what the Judaizers thought of him (Galatians 2:11-13).

A Greater Fear

There is a third kind of fear in the Bible and this fear also comes with a command: fear the Lord. “Oh, fear the LORD, you His saints! There is no want to those who fear Him.” (Psalm 34:9) Yet the word “fear” in this context does not refer to terror or panic, but to awe or reverence…to read the rest of this post, visit enCourage.

To listen to the accompanying podcast with enCourage, click here.

A Prayer for Greater Fear

My book, A Holy Fear, releases a month from now. I’m knee deep in preparations for its delivery into the world— working with the launch team to get the word out about it, as well as sending out articles, and recording podcast interviews. And in the midst of all this busyness, I feel that all too familiar emotion creep in: fear.

I find myself thinking, “What if I fail? What if what I’ve written falls flat? What if no one reads it? What if no one understands what I was trying to communicate? What if they hate it? What if…?” Perhaps you are familiar with these fears, those emotions which appear when you’ve completed something you’ve labored hard at producing. Or when you share something you’ve created with others. Or when you invite someone in to see your inner thoughts, longings, hope, and dreams.

As I face these fears— the fear of failure and the fear of man— the irony does not escape me that my book is about fear and turning from those fears to a greater fear, the fear of the Lord. And here I am facing my own lesser fears! All too often, I have to apply the very things I write about to my own life; I have to preach the same truths to my own heart.

That’s what I’m doing today as I pray this prayer for a greater fear. Perhaps you’ll pray too?

A Prayer for Greater Fear

Father in heaven,

I come before you with a heart all twisted around with nerves and worries and fears. My mind is distracted by all the what if’s of life. My lesser fears are dragging me down places I know I should not follow. So I come to you, my Father, and seek refuge in you.

Your Word tells me not to fear. It teaches me that my identity and meaning are not found in what people say or think about me. It’s not found in how affirmed I am. It’s not found in whether or not I succeed at something. Who I am is inexorably linked with who Christ is for me. I am your child. I am in the beloved. The smile of your affection shines upon me. This amazing and glorious truth stills and calms my heart. I am yours and you are mine. What wonder!

You’ve also taught me to fear you—not in the same way that I fear failure or what other people think—but to honor and revere you. To come into your presence with awe and wonder. To respond with love, trust, and obedience. To see that you are greater than all that I fear.

Because you are greater. You are the One who is wholly other. You stand apart from everything else. Nothing and no one can compare with you. You are holy, righteous, and good. You alone are sovereign over all things. You alone know the end from the beginning and hold the world in the palm of your hands. You alone know the number of hairs on my head and the length of my days.

And yet.

And yet, you’ve made me your own. You chose me in love before the foundation of the world. You made a way for me to be your child through the perfect life and sacrifice death of your Son on my behalf. He removed the barrier of sin that kept me from you. I can now come before you in confidence and seek your help and grace. I can call you Abba, Father, and you hear me. What grace!

Hear me now as I bring this prayer before you. Forgive me for looking for life and meaning outside of you. Forgive me for my lesser fears. Forgive me for the ways I seek my own glory, rather than yours. Forgive me for not trusting you, but allowing my fears to distract me from you.

I pray you would develop in me a greater fear of you. As John Bunyan wrote, “Pray therefore that God will unite thy heart to fear his name; this is the way to grow in the grace of fear.” I pray you would work in my heart and strip away my lesser loves. Make my heart a place where the fear of you grows and thrives. I pray that I would love, honor, revere, trust, and obey you above all else. I pray you would grow greater in my eyes. I pray I would find refuge in who Christ is for me, that I would keep the gospel ever before me. I pray that your extravagant grace and love for me would cause my lesser fears to shrivel and shrink in comparison.

Keep my gaze fixed on you this day.

In Jesus’s name, amen.