God's Comfort for a Mother's Cares

“When the cares of my heart are many, your consolations cheer my soul” (Ps. 94:19).

A mother has many cares for her children. No matter her children’s age or stage, their needs are never far from her mind. Many of her worries come naturally as the result of living in a fallen world where children catch illnesses, face bullies on the playground, and struggle with academics. In a broken, sin-stained world, she can’t help but have concern for their safety from those who might do them harm. She can’t help but worry about the temptations they face online and with friends. She can’t help but worry about their future.

Indeed, the cares of a mother's heart are many.

While the ESV translates the Hebrew here as “cares,” other translations use the word “anxiety.” “When the anxieties of my heart are many…” The word literally means “disquieting thoughts.” Consider the anxious thoughts you’ve had about your children. Those thoughts that keep you up at night and follow you throughout the day. Thoughts that never seem to let you alone. Thoughts like: What if this illness worsens? What if she gets behind in school? What if he doesn’t make friends? What if we can’t find the help she needs? What if we can’t afford…? What if…?

David Powlison once wrote, “anxiety presumes a great distance between God and my present concern.” But the psalmist reminds us that God does known about our anxieties and cares. This verse is a reminder that God isn’t far away. Our circumstances are not beyond his knowledge and care for us. In fact, the psalmist then tells us that God’s consolations cheer the soul. “Consolation” is another word for comfort. It’s the same word used in Isaiah 66:10-14 where the prophet compares a mother comforting her baby to God’s comfort and care for his people. The word for “cheer” or in other translations, “delight” is to soothe or stroke, just as mother does to calm her baby.

And that’s what the Lord does for us in our anxieties.

Psalm 94 is a psalm about God’s people experiencing injustice at the hand of their enemies. It calls them to wait for the Lord to enact justice on their behalf. And as they wait, to remember who God is for them. He is a covenant keeping God who “will not abandon his heritage” (v.14), whose steadfast love holds them (v.18), and who is their stronghold, a rock of refuge (v.22). In the midst of the fears and anxieties of this life, our God is with us. He comforts us with his presence. Even more, he is our helper and provider. He is our strength and our place of safety. Like a child with his mother, we can run to our Father and find the comfort and help we need.

Calvin comments: “The heavier our calamities grow, we should hope that Divine grace will only be the more powerfully manifested in comforting us under them, but should we through weakness of the flesh be vexed and tormented by anxious cares, we must be satisfied with the remedy which the Psalmist here speaks of in such high terms. Believers are conscious of two very different states of mind. On the one hand, they are afflicted and distressed with various fears and anxieties; on the other, there is a secret joy communicated to them from above, and this in accommodation to their necessity, so as to preserve them from being swallowed up by any complication or force of calamity which may assail them.”

I like how Calvin describes God’s comfort as a “secret joy” that God gives to us. He sees our needs and meets us where we are with his presence. He sooths our hearts with the truths of who he is. He helps us see that he is greater than our fears. And if we have any doubt of his provisions of grace for us, we need look no further than the cross of Christ. As Paul wrote in Romans 8:32, “He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?”

The reality is, we will experience hard and fearful and troubling things in this fallen world. As moms, we will feel anxious for our children. We’ll worry about their health, their growth, their friendships, their safety. We’ll worry about their future. We’ll think all those “what if?” thoughts. But God’s comfort keeps and preserves us from being consumed by our troubles. His consolations soothe our soul. We find him to be our refuge in all our troubles.

Father, I come to you with many concerns and cares for my children. My mind is often filled with questions of “What if this or that happens?” Forgive me for when my anxieties turn my gaze from you and onto my circumstances and I forget that you are greater. I know you love my children far more than I can, for you love with a perfect love. Be with them now. Shower them with your love and grace. Intervene in our circumstances and be our refuge. Comfort my heart. Sooth my soul. Give me that “secret joy” in the midst of worrying circumstances. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Photo by Bethany Beck on Unsplash

For the Distracted Heart

When this crisis began, I came across various memes describing what people in the past accomplished during times of quarantine. Big things like plays, works of art, and scientific discoveries.

I thought that since I was home bound and all of life was put on hold, I too would devote my extra time to some things I’ve wanted to do, but just didn’t have the time to do. I thought I’d finally take up a paintbrush and create something beautiful. I thought I’d write and generate more content than I knew what to do with. I thought I’d finally learn to make my own pasta and organize the school room closet.

Not so much.

A Distracted Mind and Heart

While I have accomplished some things, those big things I thought I would do did not come to fruition. Mostly because my mind was so distracted. I had difficulty focusing and concentrating on the tasks at hand. I found myself thinking more and more about our current situation. I found myself dwelling about the future and wondering what it would look like. I found my mind consumed about things like our health, the contents of my pantry and refrigerator, my husband’s job, and how to help my children navigate this upheaval to their lives.

In Matthew 6, Jesus preached that all too familiar passage about the worries and cares of this life. It’s one of those passages I know so well, I take it for granted. I no longer stop and focus on what it means. Given my distracted mind, I thought it was time I return to it once again.

“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?” (Matthew 6:25).

The Greek word for anxious in this passage is merimnaó which means to be pulled apart. To be divided. Distracted. Older translations say “to care for.” This is a good description of my experience these past couple of months. My mind has been divided as I’ve chased down “what if?” rabbit trails. I’ve been concerned about many things. I’ve put my present energies into future cares.

When Jesus mentions things like food and clothing in this passage, he is speaking about being anxious about the cares and concerns of this life—the whole of our life here on earth. This includes all the things we worry about in life, including our health, our needs, and our future provisions.

He then uses a logical argument of deduction, arguing from the greater to the lesser. Is not life more than food? Is not the body more important than the clothes we wear? Martin LLoyd Jones comments on this argument,

“The argument is a very profound and powerful one; and how prone we are to forget it! He says in effect, ‘Take this life of yours about which you are tending to worry and become anxious. How have you got it? Where has it come from?’ And the answer, of course, is that it is a gift of God…So the argument which our Lord uses is this. If God has given you the gift of life—the greater gift—do you think He is now suddenly going to deny Himself and His own methods, and not see to it that that life is sustained and enabled to continue?”

Paul uses a similar argument in Romans 8:32 and it is one of my favorite verses, “He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?” If God provided for the biggest and most important thing we could ever need—our salvation from sin—how can we think he would fail to provide what we need right now? Because he rescued and redeemed us from our greatest fear—eternal separation from God—we can rest assured he will meet us in our current worries and cares.

Safe in Our Father’s Care

Jesus then switches to a lesser to greater argument:

“Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin,  I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?” (vv.26-30)

In this section Jesus has us look at two common features of his creation, things we see every day. He moves our gaze to the skies to look at the birds. God provides the food they need to eat each day. They are just birds, how much more so will he provide for us? He then has us consider the lilies of the field—the wildflowers commonly found in Israel. God clothes them in garments more beautiful than that of Solomon, how much more so will God provide for our daily needs?

This should make us pause and ask, why does God provide for us? Jesus tells us: “and yet your heavenly Father feeds them…” God is our Heavenly Father and we are his adopted children in Christ (Gal. 3:26-29). We are children of the King. We have all the rights and privileges that come with being his children. We are his heirs of all things.

Take a moment to consider the significance of your adoption. Consider all the ways a parent strives to meet a child’s needs. Consider the love human parents have for their children. How much more so is God’s love and care for us! How much more holy and perfect is that love and care! That’s why Jesus tells us not to worry, for we are held safe in the hands of our Father in Heaven. J.I. Packer wrote that “adoption is the highest privilege that the gospel offers…Adoption is a family idea, conceived in terms of love, and viewing God as father. In adoption, God takes us into his family and fellowship—he establishes us as his children and heirs. Closeness, affection, and generosity are at the heart of the relationship. To be right with God the Judge is a great thing, but to be loved and cared for by God the Father is a greater.”

Jesus concludes, “Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you” (vv. 31-33). What a freeing thing to know that because we are God’s children, we do not have the same concerns or cares as those do who are apart from Christ! We don’t have to worry about the future. Our minds do not have to be distracted or divided—as those who do not know the care of God for them. Our adoption in Christ frees us from focusing on all the “what if’s?” of life. Instead, we are freed to seek first the kingdom of God. We are freed to focus our minds and hearts on who God is and what he has done, knowing that our Father will meet all our needs for this life.

These truths in Matthew 6 are ones I need to remember when my mind is distracted and divided with worry. These are truths I need to remember when I fret about the uncertain days, weeks, and months to come. God is my Father. He is with me in the present and holds my future secure. I can trust he will provide for me, no matter what the future holds.

A Prayer in Fearful and Uncertain Times

One of my greatest fears is for the health of my children. Perhaps because from infancy they’ve battled asthma and chronic illness. More likely, it’s because I fear what I can’t control. I also don’t like feeling helpless. I don’t like not knowing what to do in a situation. While they are much healthier than they were as young children, it doesn’t take much for that fear to resurface.

A couple of weeks ago, our state had its first case of the Coronavirus. And it didn’t take place in some big city location. It wasn’t in a town or place I’d never been. It didn’t happen to a person I could feel passing sympathy for and then move on—as I might when hearing about a tragedy on the evening news. It happened in the suburbs, in our little homeschool program one of my kids attends. A fellow student was tested positive. The school was closed until the fourteen day window passed and those who were in contact with the student were quarantined.

My son did not have contact with the student so I did not anticipate him getting sick, but we stayed home anyway, mostly out of care for others. There was so much fear and unknown about the virus that I knew once people heard about it, they would not want my son to be around them. While we were homebound, my son came down with flu-like symptoms and I felt that momma-fear kick in. Could it be the virus or perhaps the flu? What if his asthma flares up as a result? The last time he had the flu, we ended up in the ER. I felt anxiety grow as I tried to figure out what to do. Because of our association with the school, we had difficulty finding a place to have him tested, but the pediatrician managed to find a hospital which had all the necessary gear and equipment to do so. It was a memorable experience and I am grateful for the care and precaution provided by the doctors and nurses. Within a few hours we learned he had the flu and the next day, we learned he did not have the Corona Virus.

A lot has happened in the past two weeks. Since then, most things have been cancelled, including speaking engagements I scheduled many months ago. All the schools around us are closed. Churches are closed. There’s a lot of uncertainty for all of us. Should we go here or there? Should we cancel this or that? What does it mean for work? What will happen to the economy?

What if? What then?

As I wrote in my post last week, I always turn to the Psalms when my emotions overwhelm me. When I fear the unknown, I can’t help but think of David, hiding for fear of his life in the caves of En Ghedi. I had the opportunity to visit En Ghedi during our trip to Israel a couple of years ago. It was a surreal and emotional experience, seeing the place I had imagined in my mind while I studied and wrote A Heart Set Free. While on the run from King Saul, David hid there and wrote Psalm 57.

“Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful to me, for in you my soul takes refuge; in the shadow of your wings I will take refuge, till the storms of destruction pass by. I cry out to God Most High, to God who fulfills his purpose for me.” (vv.1-2)

This psalm is a helpful reminder for all of us as we find ourselves homebound, stuck in our own caves, anxious and wondering about the future. Our refuge is is found in God. Let us cry out to him.

I wrote this prayer a few years ago and updated it to reflect our current circumstances:

A Prayer in Fearful and Uncertain Times

Father in Heaven,

I come before you with a distracted heart and mind. I turn on the news and feel anxious. Each channel is the same. I scroll through social media and I see uncertainty in every post. I am grieved for the losses across the world. I am frightened for those who are susceptible to this virus. I am filled with uncertainty and worry about what the future holds. What about those who can’t afford to take off from work? What about those who are weak and vulnerable? Will this be a short term hurdle or a bigger problem than we imagine? 

My mind starts spinning and swirling and I get caught up in all the what if’s of life. So I come before you as the psalmist did, with raw honesty. I come before you with all these thoughts and emotions and lay them before you. I come before you because you are King and you rule all things. I come before you because you are my Father, my Abba. You adopted me as your child and have given me every privilege that comes with being a part of your family. I come before you because you are my merciful Savior. You alone can rescue me from fear, sin, temptation, and all the unknowns. I come before you because you are my Provider, Jehovah Jireh. You created all things and own all things. All I have comes from your generous hands. I come before you because you are my Redeemer. You alone can redeem and restore all that is broken in my life and in the world around me.

Forgive me for turning my gaze from you and looking at the worrisome things happening around me. Forgive me for forgetting that you are with me. Forgive me for not trusting. Forgive me for not crying out to you sooner but trying to conquer my fears in my own strength. Forgive me for not living in complete dependence upon you.

I pray for the vulnerable. I pray you would protect them. I pray you would provide for those in need. I pray you would raise up the church and help us to be the hands and feet of Jesus, meeting the needs in our communities. I pray we would be happy to be uncomfortable for the sake of others. I pray you would stop this virus in its tracks.

In my own life and heart, give me a peace that passes all understanding. Though I don't know what will happen in the future, help me to trust you. Help me to remember that you are not surprised by all the chaos and uncertainty. Help me to remember that nothing will happen today that takes you off guard. You are not asleep or too busy but are actively involved in every detail. Help me to wait and watch for your glory. Help me to obey and do the right thing in the moment, knowing you are there in all the moments to come. 

Help me to see you as greater than all my fears.

Most of all, help me to remember Jesus, the One who cried out in the garden on the night he was betrayed, “Abba, Father, all things are possible for you. Remove this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will” (Mark 13:46). I thank you that "for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God" (Hebrews 12:2). Even now, he intercedes for me—what a marvelous truth!

Be my refuge “until the storms of destruction pass by.” You are my true place of safety.

I pray all this in the name of Jesus, amen.

Hope for the Anxious Heart

It doesn’t take much for me to worry. A news story. A sick child. An unexpected bill. A phone call late at night. Whatever the worry, I dwell and mull over it endlessly. I fret and think, “What if?” I search the internet for hidden solutions and anticipate all potential scenarios, sometimes to the point of losing sleep.  

The problem of anxiety

We all know what it’s like to worry about something; it’s a regular companion for many of us. As it turns out, so is its close cousin: anxiety. According to NAMI, anxiety disorders are the most common mental health issue in the United States. Approximately 18 percent of adults and eight percent of children and teenagers have an anxiety disorder.

Anxiety, while related to worry, is different in that it’s persistent, ongoing and broader in scope. While we can usually work through our worries to find a solution—not so with anxiety. Anxiety is excessive worry about multiple things, even when there isn’t anything wrong. Such anxiety fills people with dread, fear and apprehension. They anticipate the worst and are always wary and watching. It also expresses itself physically. They feel tense and irritable. Their heart races. Their stomach feels sick, and they can’t sleep. Some who struggle with anxiety have panic attacks—which often feel like a heart attack—bringing on even more anxiety...

To read the rest of this post, visit ERLC, my writing home today.

The Battle of Emotions

My kids are one belt away from earning their black belt in martial arts. One of the tasks they have to accomplish to before receiving the belt is to break a stack of four wooden boards with their hand. In a recent attempt, my youngest hit the boards over and over without success until the instructor said, “Why don’t you stop and try with three boards instead?”

“I want to keep trying,” my son responded.

He kept at it and finally broke the stack of four. The instructor then turned it into a lesson on perseverance for the rest of the class.

Painful Emotions

In my own life, I lack such perseverance in the face of hard and difficult things. When something becomes too painful or challenging, I give up. I resist pain and heartache and difficulty. If I see a trial looming ahead, I turn and go the other way. When it comes to painful emotions, I do all that I can to control, ignore, cover up, hide from, or resist those emotions. Anything but actually face them and work through them.

But it is in working through them that I learn more about God, who he is, and what he is doing in me...to read the rest of this post, visit enCourage, my writing home today.