Learning Contentment

“Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content” (Phil. 4:11).

My husband has been unemployed the past few weeks, a situation we’ve not experienced together during our entire twenty-six years of marriage. But I remember well the times my father was unemployed. In fact, it wasn’t until mid-life that I realized how much those years impacted me—such as the way I hate to see an empty refrigerator or the way I make certain to never run out of things in the pantry. And while my son and his friends enjoy browsing and shopping at the local thrift store, the thought of doing so produces almost a physical response in me, which I’ve realized is rooted in feelings of shame I felt from times when I had no other choice but to wear pre-owned clothes.

So, when my husband informed me of his change in job status, I felt my stomach tighten. My heart pounded. My eyes burned. And I felt panicked. I was instantly transported back to my childhood where memories of not having enough swirled in my mind, along with all the feelings of worry, uncertainty, and shame. Memory after memory played on a reel, many I hadn’t revisited in decades.

I took a breath and whispered, “this is not the same thing.”

And the Lord gently reminded me of the words of Paul in Philippians 4:

“Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me” (11-13).

The Apostle Paul experienced both times of abundance and times of lack. He knew what it was like to be full and to be empty. Elsewhere in the New Testament, we read of other areas in which Paul experienced hardship and suffering. In 2 Corinthians 11, he listed a number of trials he experienced: “Five times I received at the hands of the Jews the forty lashes less one. Three times I was beaten with rods. Once I was stoned. Three times I was shipwrecked; a night and a day I was adrift at sea; on frequent journeys, in danger from rivers, danger from robbers, danger from my own people, danger from Gentiles, danger in the city, danger in the wilderness, danger at sea, danger from false brothers; in toil and hardship, through many a sleepless night, in hunger and thirst, often without food, in cold and exposure. And, apart from other things, there is the daily pressure on me of my anxiety for all the churches” (vv. 24-28). Talk about suffering!

And yet, regardless of his circumstances, Paul felt contentment. The Puritan minister, Jeremiah Burroughs, defined contentment as: “that sweet, inward, quiet, gracious frame of spirit, which freely submits to and delights in God’s wise and fatherly disposal in every situation.” It is an inner satisfaction in Christ and who he is for us. It is confidence and trust in his faithful provision of grace. It is resting in his character, knowing he only provides that which is good for his beloved children.

Interestingly, the Greek word for contentment in Philippians 4 is only used here in this verse. It means self-sufficient, independent. It was a word used by Greek philosophers to describe self-reliance, of not needing anyone or anything, of being sufficient for everything within oneself. Paul took this secular word from his day and used it to mean Christ-sufficiency. Through the power of the Spirit at work within him, he was sufficient. His strength was found in Christ’s strength. He could face and endure everything, because of Jesus Christ.

As I wrestle with contentment in my own life, I’m encouraged by Paul’s testimony. Specifically that contentment was a lesson Paul learned. It was something he grew in. Not in a sense of learning facts; rather, he learned through experience. He saw God’s goodness to him in times of plenty and in times of want. He experienced God’s strength in the midst of suffering. And through that, he learned the joy of the Lord.

Regardless of his circumstances.

In my own uncertainties these days, I find myself rehearsing the character and goodness of God to my heart. “For the LORD is good; his steadfast love endures forever, and his faithfulness to all generations” (Ps. 100:5).

How about you? Have you learned the secret of contentment?

Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash

God's Comfort for a Mother's Cares

“When the cares of my heart are many, your consolations cheer my soul” (Ps. 94:19).

A mother has many cares for her children. No matter her children’s age or stage, their needs are never far from her mind. Many of her worries come naturally as the result of living in a fallen world where children catch illnesses, face bullies on the playground, and struggle with academics. In a broken, sin-stained world, she can’t help but have concern for their safety from those who might do them harm. She can’t help but worry about the temptations they face online and with friends. She can’t help but worry about their future.

Indeed, the cares of a mother's heart are many.

While the ESV translates the Hebrew here as “cares,” other translations use the word “anxiety.” “When the anxieties of my heart are many…” The word literally means “disquieting thoughts.” Consider the anxious thoughts you’ve had about your children. Those thoughts that keep you up at night and follow you throughout the day. Thoughts that never seem to let you alone. Thoughts like: What if this illness worsens? What if she gets behind in school? What if he doesn’t make friends? What if we can’t find the help she needs? What if we can’t afford…? What if…?

David Powlison once wrote, “anxiety presumes a great distance between God and my present concern.” But the psalmist reminds us that God does known about our anxieties and cares. This verse is a reminder that God isn’t far away. Our circumstances are not beyond his knowledge and care for us. In fact, the psalmist then tells us that God’s consolations cheer the soul. “Consolation” is another word for comfort. It’s the same word used in Isaiah 66:10-14 where the prophet compares a mother comforting her baby to God’s comfort and care for his people. The word for “cheer” or in other translations, “delight” is to soothe or stroke, just as mother does to calm her baby.

And that’s what the Lord does for us in our anxieties.

Psalm 94 is a psalm about God’s people experiencing injustice at the hand of their enemies. It calls them to wait for the Lord to enact justice on their behalf. And as they wait, to remember who God is for them. He is a covenant keeping God who “will not abandon his heritage” (v.14), whose steadfast love holds them (v.18), and who is their stronghold, a rock of refuge (v.22). In the midst of the fears and anxieties of this life, our God is with us. He comforts us with his presence. Even more, he is our helper and provider. He is our strength and our place of safety. Like a child with his mother, we can run to our Father and find the comfort and help we need.

Calvin comments: “The heavier our calamities grow, we should hope that Divine grace will only be the more powerfully manifested in comforting us under them, but should we through weakness of the flesh be vexed and tormented by anxious cares, we must be satisfied with the remedy which the Psalmist here speaks of in such high terms. Believers are conscious of two very different states of mind. On the one hand, they are afflicted and distressed with various fears and anxieties; on the other, there is a secret joy communicated to them from above, and this in accommodation to their necessity, so as to preserve them from being swallowed up by any complication or force of calamity which may assail them.”

I like how Calvin describes God’s comfort as a “secret joy” that God gives to us. He sees our needs and meets us where we are with his presence. He sooths our hearts with the truths of who he is. He helps us see that he is greater than our fears. And if we have any doubt of his provisions of grace for us, we need look no further than the cross of Christ. As Paul wrote in Romans 8:32, “He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?”

The reality is, we will experience hard and fearful and troubling things in this fallen world. As moms, we will feel anxious for our children. We’ll worry about their health, their growth, their friendships, their safety. We’ll worry about their future. We’ll think all those “what if?” thoughts. But God’s comfort keeps and preserves us from being consumed by our troubles. His consolations soothe our soul. We find him to be our refuge in all our troubles.

Father, I come to you with many concerns and cares for my children. My mind is often filled with questions of “What if this or that happens?” Forgive me for when my anxieties turn my gaze from you and onto my circumstances and I forget that you are greater. I know you love my children far more than I can, for you love with a perfect love. Be with them now. Shower them with your love and grace. Intervene in our circumstances and be our refuge. Comfort my heart. Sooth my soul. Give me that “secret joy” in the midst of worrying circumstances. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Photo by Bethany Beck on Unsplash

When You Worry About All the Things

I often tell my sons I am a better Scout than they are. After all, I live by the motto: Be Prepared. I anticipate all the things that could go wrong and plan accordingly. Rain in the forecast? I have my umbrella at the ready. Cold and flu season around the corner? My medicine cabinet is stocked. Busy day ahead? We leave early in case there’s traffic.

While being prepared is often wise and prudent, for those who are prone to worry, it can sometimes facilitate and increase that worry all the more. Being prepared involves thinking about the future. It involves anticipating trouble that may lie ahead—both of which go hand in hand with worry. I found this to be true with my own heart this summer as I helped one of my sons plan for a backpacking trip out west. I looked at the weather forecast and encouraged him to pack accordingly. I reminded him to pack extra batteries for his headlamp. We prepared for injuries by packing a first aid kit. These were all good things to do.

But then I started thinking about other things that could go wrong: getting separated from the group, encountering bears on the trail, running out of supplies, etc. Add to that the fact that he and his group would be out of cell phone range for most of the trip and I found myself worried even more about those potential troubles. Especially the bears! Those worries festered and woke me up at night. I found my mind focused on future trouble.

In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus speaks to weary hearts that are prone to worry about the future. He says to not worry about the daily needs of life—to not look ahead and worry about what we will eat and drink or what we will wear. He reminds us of how our Father in heaven looks after and cares for his creation, from the birds in the air to the flowers in the field and how much more important are we than they? “Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” (see Matt. 6:25-34).

This is such a familiar passage, one I’ve read countless times. Yet its one that continues to teach me about my heart and about my Father in heaven. Jesus here sets limits for our worries. He tells us there are things we need to focus on and things we don’t need to focus on. He’s not telling us to lay back and do nothing to prepare for tomorrow. After all, the Bible exhorts us elsewhere to labor for our food. To plant seeds and harvest them. To work hard and not be slothful. There is a certain amount of care and concern we should have. What Jesus is speaking about here is excessive worry—worry that is future focused. Worry that lives in tomorrow and not in today. Worry that pushes us to focus on ourselves and doesn’t rest in who our Heavenly Father is for us.

As John Calvin noted:

“…Christ reproves that excessive anxiety, with which men torment themselves, about food and clothing, and, at the same time, applies a remedy for curing this disease. When he forbids them to be anxious, this is not to be taken literally, as if he intended to take away from his people all care. We know that men are born on the condition of having some care…But immoderate care is condemned for two reasons: either because in so doing men tease and vex themselves to no purpose, by carrying their anxiety farther than is proper or than their calling demands; or because they claim more for themselves than they have a right to do, and place such a reliance on their own industry, that they neglect to call upon God…Each of us ought to labor, as far as his calling requires and the Lord commands; and each of us ought to be led by his own wants to call upon God. Such anxiety holds an intermediate place between indolent carelessness and the unnecessary torments by which unbelievers kill themselves. But if we give proper attention to the words of Christ, we shall find, that he does not forbid every kind of care, but only what arises from distrust.”

For those of us who worry about all the things, it can be helpful to make a list of the things God calls us to do and what he does not call us to do and then see where our worries fit. For example, we might create a two-column chart with our responsibilities on one side and those that are God’s on the other. And then we can ask our heart: Are we worried about something that is our responsibility? Or God’s responsibility? Are we focused on the task we’ve been given for today? Or focused on a future that hasn’t yet happened? Are we trusting in ourselves and our own strength? Or have we submitted our cares to God and trusted him to provide what we need?

There are some worries and concerns that deserve our attention because God has entrusted us with specific tasks and responsibilities. We ought to take our child to the doctor when she is ill. We should work hard at our jobs to provide for our family. We need to fix the leaky sink before it gets worse. These are all in our realm of responsibility. But there are other worries that are not under our rule and responsibility. These concerns are the things we bring to our Father in Heaven and seek his wisdom, help, and care. That’s what Jesus pointed out in his sermon: We can trust that God provides for all our needs. The future lies in his hands.

In the situation with my son’s trip to the mountains, there were things I had the responsibility to do: help him pack what was needed for the trip, remind him of safe hiking practices, and pray for him and his troop. The rest I entrusted to God and rested in his sovereign care. No amount of worrying on my part could impact the outcome of his trip. Corrie ten Boom said it well: “Worrying doesn't empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength.”

And for those who are wondering, my son returned home safe and sound from his backpacking trip. And best of all, he encountered no bears!

Photo by Aubree Herrick on Unsplash

For the Distracted Heart

When this crisis began, I came across various memes describing what people in the past accomplished during times of quarantine. Big things like plays, works of art, and scientific discoveries.

I thought that since I was home bound and all of life was put on hold, I too would devote my extra time to some things I’ve wanted to do, but just didn’t have the time to do. I thought I’d finally take up a paintbrush and create something beautiful. I thought I’d write and generate more content than I knew what to do with. I thought I’d finally learn to make my own pasta and organize the school room closet.

Not so much.

A Distracted Mind and Heart

While I have accomplished some things, those big things I thought I would do did not come to fruition. Mostly because my mind was so distracted. I had difficulty focusing and concentrating on the tasks at hand. I found myself thinking more and more about our current situation. I found myself dwelling about the future and wondering what it would look like. I found my mind consumed about things like our health, the contents of my pantry and refrigerator, my husband’s job, and how to help my children navigate this upheaval to their lives.

In Matthew 6, Jesus preached that all too familiar passage about the worries and cares of this life. It’s one of those passages I know so well, I take it for granted. I no longer stop and focus on what it means. Given my distracted mind, I thought it was time I return to it once again.

“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?” (Matthew 6:25).

The Greek word for anxious in this passage is merimnaó which means to be pulled apart. To be divided. Distracted. Older translations say “to care for.” This is a good description of my experience these past couple of months. My mind has been divided as I’ve chased down “what if?” rabbit trails. I’ve been concerned about many things. I’ve put my present energies into future cares.

When Jesus mentions things like food and clothing in this passage, he is speaking about being anxious about the cares and concerns of this life—the whole of our life here on earth. This includes all the things we worry about in life, including our health, our needs, and our future provisions.

He then uses a logical argument of deduction, arguing from the greater to the lesser. Is not life more than food? Is not the body more important than the clothes we wear? Martin LLoyd Jones comments on this argument,

“The argument is a very profound and powerful one; and how prone we are to forget it! He says in effect, ‘Take this life of yours about which you are tending to worry and become anxious. How have you got it? Where has it come from?’ And the answer, of course, is that it is a gift of God…So the argument which our Lord uses is this. If God has given you the gift of life—the greater gift—do you think He is now suddenly going to deny Himself and His own methods, and not see to it that that life is sustained and enabled to continue?”

Paul uses a similar argument in Romans 8:32 and it is one of my favorite verses, “He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?” If God provided for the biggest and most important thing we could ever need—our salvation from sin—how can we think he would fail to provide what we need right now? Because he rescued and redeemed us from our greatest fear—eternal separation from God—we can rest assured he will meet us in our current worries and cares.

Safe in Our Father’s Care

Jesus then switches to a lesser to greater argument:

“Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin,  I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?” (vv.26-30)

In this section Jesus has us look at two common features of his creation, things we see every day. He moves our gaze to the skies to look at the birds. God provides the food they need to eat each day. They are just birds, how much more so will he provide for us? He then has us consider the lilies of the field—the wildflowers commonly found in Israel. God clothes them in garments more beautiful than that of Solomon, how much more so will God provide for our daily needs?

This should make us pause and ask, why does God provide for us? Jesus tells us: “and yet your heavenly Father feeds them…” God is our Heavenly Father and we are his adopted children in Christ (Gal. 3:26-29). We are children of the King. We have all the rights and privileges that come with being his children. We are his heirs of all things.

Take a moment to consider the significance of your adoption. Consider all the ways a parent strives to meet a child’s needs. Consider the love human parents have for their children. How much more so is God’s love and care for us! How much more holy and perfect is that love and care! That’s why Jesus tells us not to worry, for we are held safe in the hands of our Father in Heaven. J.I. Packer wrote that “adoption is the highest privilege that the gospel offers…Adoption is a family idea, conceived in terms of love, and viewing God as father. In adoption, God takes us into his family and fellowship—he establishes us as his children and heirs. Closeness, affection, and generosity are at the heart of the relationship. To be right with God the Judge is a great thing, but to be loved and cared for by God the Father is a greater.”

Jesus concludes, “Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you” (vv. 31-33). What a freeing thing to know that because we are God’s children, we do not have the same concerns or cares as those do who are apart from Christ! We don’t have to worry about the future. Our minds do not have to be distracted or divided—as those who do not know the care of God for them. Our adoption in Christ frees us from focusing on all the “what if’s?” of life. Instead, we are freed to seek first the kingdom of God. We are freed to focus our minds and hearts on who God is and what he has done, knowing that our Father will meet all our needs for this life.

These truths in Matthew 6 are ones I need to remember when my mind is distracted and divided with worry. These are truths I need to remember when I fret about the uncertain days, weeks, and months to come. God is my Father. He is with me in the present and holds my future secure. I can trust he will provide for me, no matter what the future holds.

A Prayer in Fearful and Uncertain Times

One of my greatest fears is for the health of my children. Perhaps because from infancy they’ve battled asthma and chronic illness. More likely, it’s because I fear what I can’t control. I also don’t like feeling helpless. I don’t like not knowing what to do in a situation. While they are much healthier than they were as young children, it doesn’t take much for that fear to resurface.

A couple of weeks ago, our state had its first case of the Coronavirus. And it didn’t take place in some big city location. It wasn’t in a town or place I’d never been. It didn’t happen to a person I could feel passing sympathy for and then move on—as I might when hearing about a tragedy on the evening news. It happened in the suburbs, in our little homeschool program one of my kids attends. A fellow student was tested positive. The school was closed until the fourteen day window passed and those who were in contact with the student were quarantined.

My son did not have contact with the student so I did not anticipate him getting sick, but we stayed home anyway, mostly out of care for others. There was so much fear and unknown about the virus that I knew once people heard about it, they would not want my son to be around them. While we were homebound, my son came down with flu-like symptoms and I felt that momma-fear kick in. Could it be the virus or perhaps the flu? What if his asthma flares up as a result? The last time he had the flu, we ended up in the ER. I felt anxiety grow as I tried to figure out what to do. Because of our association with the school, we had difficulty finding a place to have him tested, but the pediatrician managed to find a hospital which had all the necessary gear and equipment to do so. It was a memorable experience and I am grateful for the care and precaution provided by the doctors and nurses. Within a few hours we learned he had the flu and the next day, we learned he did not have the Corona Virus.

A lot has happened in the past two weeks. Since then, most things have been cancelled, including speaking engagements I scheduled many months ago. All the schools around us are closed. Churches are closed. There’s a lot of uncertainty for all of us. Should we go here or there? Should we cancel this or that? What does it mean for work? What will happen to the economy?

What if? What then?

As I wrote in my post last week, I always turn to the Psalms when my emotions overwhelm me. When I fear the unknown, I can’t help but think of David, hiding for fear of his life in the caves of En Ghedi. I had the opportunity to visit En Ghedi during our trip to Israel a couple of years ago. It was a surreal and emotional experience, seeing the place I had imagined in my mind while I studied and wrote A Heart Set Free. While on the run from King Saul, David hid there and wrote Psalm 57.

“Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful to me, for in you my soul takes refuge; in the shadow of your wings I will take refuge, till the storms of destruction pass by. I cry out to God Most High, to God who fulfills his purpose for me.” (vv.1-2)

This psalm is a helpful reminder for all of us as we find ourselves homebound, stuck in our own caves, anxious and wondering about the future. Our refuge is is found in God. Let us cry out to him.

I wrote this prayer a few years ago and updated it to reflect our current circumstances:

A Prayer in Fearful and Uncertain Times

Father in Heaven,

I come before you with a distracted heart and mind. I turn on the news and feel anxious. Each channel is the same. I scroll through social media and I see uncertainty in every post. I am grieved for the losses across the world. I am frightened for those who are susceptible to this virus. I am filled with uncertainty and worry about what the future holds. What about those who can’t afford to take off from work? What about those who are weak and vulnerable? Will this be a short term hurdle or a bigger problem than we imagine? 

My mind starts spinning and swirling and I get caught up in all the what if’s of life. So I come before you as the psalmist did, with raw honesty. I come before you with all these thoughts and emotions and lay them before you. I come before you because you are King and you rule all things. I come before you because you are my Father, my Abba. You adopted me as your child and have given me every privilege that comes with being a part of your family. I come before you because you are my merciful Savior. You alone can rescue me from fear, sin, temptation, and all the unknowns. I come before you because you are my Provider, Jehovah Jireh. You created all things and own all things. All I have comes from your generous hands. I come before you because you are my Redeemer. You alone can redeem and restore all that is broken in my life and in the world around me.

Forgive me for turning my gaze from you and looking at the worrisome things happening around me. Forgive me for forgetting that you are with me. Forgive me for not trusting. Forgive me for not crying out to you sooner but trying to conquer my fears in my own strength. Forgive me for not living in complete dependence upon you.

I pray for the vulnerable. I pray you would protect them. I pray you would provide for those in need. I pray you would raise up the church and help us to be the hands and feet of Jesus, meeting the needs in our communities. I pray we would be happy to be uncomfortable for the sake of others. I pray you would stop this virus in its tracks.

In my own life and heart, give me a peace that passes all understanding. Though I don't know what will happen in the future, help me to trust you. Help me to remember that you are not surprised by all the chaos and uncertainty. Help me to remember that nothing will happen today that takes you off guard. You are not asleep or too busy but are actively involved in every detail. Help me to wait and watch for your glory. Help me to obey and do the right thing in the moment, knowing you are there in all the moments to come. 

Help me to see you as greater than all my fears.

Most of all, help me to remember Jesus, the One who cried out in the garden on the night he was betrayed, “Abba, Father, all things are possible for you. Remove this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will” (Mark 13:46). I thank you that "for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God" (Hebrews 12:2). Even now, he intercedes for me—what a marvelous truth!

Be my refuge “until the storms of destruction pass by.” You are my true place of safety.

I pray all this in the name of Jesus, amen.

When Fear Motivates Us

When I was a child, my grandmother would often go to our local mall before it opened and walk laps around both floors. If ever I went there to shop in the morning hours, I was sure to see her at some point on her rounds. One day, while walking at the mall, she fell and broke her shoulder. After months of healing, she never went back. I often thought it strange that she let a fall keep her from returning to an activity she so faithfully enjoyed.

Since then, I've experienced various things in my life that have given me pause. Whether it was breaking my arm roller skating and not wanting to put on skates again or being hurt by a friend and finding it difficult to trust others, I now understand what kept my grandmother from returning to her walks around the mall. It's hard not to look at present experiences through the lens of the past. It's hard not to react to difficult circumstances by building protective walls and barriers to keep out future hardship. It's hard not to react to the pains of life with avoidance, control, or fear.

Reactions to Life

There are many things that happen to us in our life that we react to. It could be something as simple as a fall or as complex and heartbreaking as losing someone we love. When painful circumstances cut into our lives, we remember that pain and work to keep it from happening again. Makes sense, right? Who wouldn't want a repeat of some hardship?

Yet in our efforts to protect ourselves from future harm, we may avoid things, places, and circumstances. In the face of the unknown and uncertain, we might be over-protective, cautious, and fearful. Our decisions, goals, and plans center around what we worry could happen. We may even attempt to control all the details of our lives in the hopes that we can keep ourselves and the ones we love safe from harm.

Many of us also develop life habits and patterns out of reaction to the circumstances in our lives. These patterns can take many forms and be unique to each of us. From the things we choose to eat or not eat, to the places we live or don't live; from the relationships we keep or don't keep, to the way we spend or don't spend our money; from the way we keep our homes to the way we raise our children; from the way we express ourselves to the way we use our time—all of these things can develop as reactions to the circumstances of our lives.

I've seen this time and again in my own life. Whether it's being extra cautious with my children's health after having gone through two surgeries with them or being slow to trust people because of being hurt in the past, I too live a reactionary life. I expect the worst, avoid failure at all costs, and am always on the lookout for the next disaster to roll in and crash into my life.

God's Response

Though we are often reactionary to the circumstances of life, thankfully, God doesn't react to us. He doesn't say "Oh, she's being too rebellious, I better tighten those reigns and take away all the good things in her life." He doesn't look at our weak faith, our doubts, our worries, and give up on us, give us the silent treatment, or a guilt trip. He doesn't react to our ongoing battles with sin in vengeance or wrath.

For those who are in Christ, God doesn't react to us. He responds.

He responded by sending his Son.

Jesus came as the answer to sin. He came to do what we could not do, perfectly obey God in every thought, word, and deed. He came to face our greatest fears and bear our deepest sorrows. He came in response to our reactionary lives where we try to do life on our own, attempt to be our own gods and goddesses, and try to control everything that happens to us. He came to set us free. 

Because of Jesus, we don't have to live reactionary lives. We don't have to always be on edge, worrying about our safety and security. We don't have to be motivated by fear of reliving past experiences. We don't have to always put other people to the test, to see if they really are trustworthy. We don't have to always expect the worst.

The reality is, living a reactionary life is not really living at all. Always being on alert and filled with fears and worry about the future steals our joy from the present. Being over-protective, controlling, and on edge doesn't actually do anything to change our circumstances. When we build our lives around what could happen, we fail to trust the One who made us, who loves us, and who suffered and died for us. 

Instead of reacting to life, we too can respond. We can respond to what Christ has done for us in love, worship, and trust. We can rest and cease our striving to make our lives work. We can give Christ all our burdens, sorrows, and fears. We can believe that his intentions toward us are good and are for our good. And if it comes, we can accept a trial because we know that God is sovereign and that he knows just what we need. We can endure rejection from others because we know Christ was rejected for our sake. We can face the heartaches and sorrows of this world, knowing that nothing can ever separate us from the love of Christ.

If you've lived a reactionary life for far too long, look to Christ. Stand at the foot of the cross and see his response to your sin, sorrow, suffering, and shame. Repent of how you have reacted to life and pray for grace to respond in trust. Receive God's response of grace to you with joy and gladness. Relish with wonder the peace he gives that passes all understanding. And give thanks to the One who will never react toward you but always responds with love and grace.