My book, A Holy Fear, releases a month from now. I’m knee deep in preparations for its delivery into the world— working with the launch team to get the word out about it, as well as sending out articles, and recording podcast interviews. And in the midst of all this busyness, I feel that all too familiar emotion creep in: fear.
I find myself thinking, “What if I fail? What if what I’ve written falls flat? What if no one reads it? What if no one understands what I was trying to communicate? What if they hate it? What if…?” Perhaps you are familiar with these fears, those emotions which appear when you’ve completed something you’ve labored hard at producing. Or when you share something you’ve created with others. Or when you invite someone in to see your inner thoughts, longings, hope, and dreams.
As I face these fears— the fear of failure and the fear of man— the irony does not escape me that my book is about fear and turning from those fears to a greater fear, the fear of the Lord. And here I am facing my own lesser fears! All too often, I have to apply the very things I write about to my own life; I have to preach the same truths to my own heart.
That’s what I’m doing today as I pray this prayer for a greater fear. Perhaps you’ll pray too?
A Prayer for Greater Fear
Father in heaven,
I come before you with a heart all twisted around with nerves and worries and fears. My mind is distracted by all the what if’s of life. My lesser fears are dragging me down places I know I should not follow. So I come to you, my Father, and seek refuge in you.
Your Word tells me not to fear. It teaches me that my identity and meaning are not found in what people say or think about me. It’s not found in how affirmed I am. It’s not found in whether or not I succeed at something. Who I am is inexorably linked with who Christ is for me. I am your child. I am in the beloved. The smile of your affection shines upon me. This amazing and glorious truth stills and calms my heart. I am yours and you are mine. What wonder!
You’ve also taught me to fear you—not in the same way that I fear failure or what other people think—but to honor and revere you. To come into your presence with awe and wonder. To respond with love, trust, and obedience. To see that you are greater than all that I fear.
Because you are greater. You are the One who is wholly other. You stand apart from everything else. Nothing and no one can compare with you. You are holy, righteous, and good. You alone are sovereign over all things. You alone know the end from the beginning and hold the world in the palm of your hands. You alone know the number of hairs on my head and the length of my days.
And yet.
And yet, you’ve made me your own. You chose me in love before the foundation of the world. You made a way for me to be your child through the perfect life and sacrifice death of your Son on my behalf. He removed the barrier of sin that kept me from you. I can now come before you in confidence and seek your help and grace. I can call you Abba, Father, and you hear me. What grace!
Hear me now as I bring this prayer before you. Forgive me for looking for life and meaning outside of you. Forgive me for my lesser fears. Forgive me for the ways I seek my own glory, rather than yours. Forgive me for not trusting you, but allowing my fears to distract me from you.
I pray you would develop in me a greater fear of you. As John Bunyan wrote, “Pray therefore that God will unite thy heart to fear his name; this is the way to grow in the grace of fear.” I pray you would work in my heart and strip away my lesser loves. Make my heart a place where the fear of you grows and thrives. I pray that I would love, honor, revere, trust, and obey you above all else. I pray you would grow greater in my eyes. I pray I would find refuge in who Christ is for me, that I would keep the gospel ever before me. I pray that your extravagant grace and love for me would cause my lesser fears to shrivel and shrink in comparison.
Keep my gaze fixed on you this day.
In Jesus’s name, amen.
