Trust in the Face of Change

One thing I’ve learned about life is that once you get used to a particular season or role, life changes. I’ve found this to be true in parenting, marriage, work, and ministry. I remember well how hard it was when my boys dropped their afternoon naps. That was a change I didn’t like at all!

I used to resist change. Or at least try to manage it so that I could know what to expect and prepare for it. I guess it’s because there’s a certain degree of comfort when you think you know what lies ahead. When you feel equipped to face the day because it’s the same as the one before it. When you’ve finally reached a level of confidence in how to do a certain job or task. Yet change inevitably cuts into our life with a harsh reminder that we don’t have control over our lives. For we all too quickly forget that we are dependent upon God and need his rescuing grace.

I’m in the middle season of life, a season filled with constant change. Certainly, there are many physical changes (that’s a whole other blog post!). There are changes in motherhood as I increasingly let go of my duties and watch my children learn to fly on their own. There are changes in marriage as my husband and I find more time and opportunity to focus on our relationship in ways we haven’t for far too long. Some changes are good and bring great joy; others are hard and bring only grief and sorrow.

This year is my oldest son’s senior year. It’s a year of lasts: the last cross country race, last birthday at home, last school events, last holidays. It’s also our last year to pour into his heart all the things we want him to know before he’s unleashed into the world to make his own way. It’s an emotional year for me, a year filled with both grief and joy. Grief at the finality of this season of parenting, the ending of all these years of homeschooling, the ending of all the daily interactions and family life I’ve grown so used to these last seventeen plus years. But there’s joy too as I celebrate with him the fruition of all he’s worked so hard for. It’s a joy to engage with him as a young adult and talk together about his future. I’ve enjoyed watching him think through decisions and develop goals for his life.

Meanwhile, this past fall my father was diagnosed with dementia. Like most diagnoses, this one took us by surprise and flipped my parents’ life upside down. Dementia is a disease that is often referred to as the “Long Goodbye.” I now know why that is. The diagnosis has brought with it grief and sorrow, worry and fear. I’ve found myself in a new role, helping my family navigate it and serving them in whatever way I can. As anyone in this middle stage of life can attest, it’s challenging to care for the needs of your family at home, while also wanting to help your parents who live far away.

In the midst of these changes in my life, I continue to work in discipleship ministry for women—writing, speaking, discipling, and coordinating women’s ministry. I’ve also been developing a lay- counseling/discipleship/one-another-care ministry for women at my church and am excited to see the many months of labor finally come together. While I’m excited to serve the Lord in this way, I feel a profound sense of my weakness. I worry about getting it wrong. I fear letting people down. I feel uncertainty and a weight of responsibility. This change too is another one where I feel my desperate need for God’s grace to equip and sustain me.

While much changes in our lives, from season to season, in our roles and in our labors, one thing remains the same: God never changes. He is the constant in all the unknown. He is the steady horizon when the storms of life swell over us. When everything is chaos, when we are filled with fear or sorrow, our God is with us. When we fill ill equipped to a new task or overwhelmed by uncertainty and lack of knowledge, we can turn to Christ, in whom are found all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge (Col. 2:3). We can take comfort in our Lord’s providential care for us and his sovereign rule over all things. While we don’t know what the future holds, we can trust that God not only knows what will take place, he has already determined all that will happen. Though we are weak, we can rest in his strength. As we face the changes and transitions of life, we can be confident that the Lord is at work. He will be our refuge.

I often find comfort in the words of the psalmist, “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble at its swelling” (Ps. 46:1-3). Some events in life feel like our whole world is shifting. It feels like it’s the end of life as we know it. The psalmist reminds me that even if the earth were to give way, even if the mountains were to fall into the sea, God remains our refuge and strength. He is our help and hope.

Dear friends, if you find that your own life is in the midst of transition and change, trust God to meet you where you are with his rescuing love and grace. He is our certain hope in all the uncertainty of life.

What God Says, He Does

Have you ever heard the phrase, “do as I say, not as I do?” It’s a subtle jab at our hypocrisy as humans, at our inability to be consistent. We fail to practice what we preach. We teach our children to be kind to their siblings, and then berate the cashier for being so slow at the check out lane. We tell our friends we will pray for them and then never do. We talk about serving the poor yet fail to serve our own family.

It’s a common problem for us all: we say one thing and yet do another.

How wondrous the contrast between fallen humanity and our holy and faithful God! Psalm 33:9 tells us, “For he spoke, and it came to be; he commanded, and it stood firm.” For God, to say something is to do something. They are one and the same. When he speaks, it happens. The Hebrew word for “and it came to be” (hayah) literally means “to be.” In the Hebrew, this verse reads “he spoke and it was.” It is the same word used in Genesis 1 where God spoke and the world appeared. “Let there be light.” God spoke and stars hurled across the sky. He spoke and waters teemed with fish. He spoke and life appeared.

This is true of everything God says. Whatever God says in his word is certain. Whatever he wills, always comes to pass, “…so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it” (Is. 55:11). Whatever God promises is guaranteed. In fact, we can consider it already done.

How many times have you made a promise to someone and failed to keep it? I make commitments all the time and then have to cancel them because I got sick, my car broke down, or something prevented me from keeping the commitment. Sometimes, I tell my children I will do something for them and then simply forget my promise. Other times, I make a promise and then simply decide I just don’t want to do it. I’m too tired. I don’t have the resources I need to follow through. I changed my mind. (I can’t be the only one…)

But God! Every promise God makes comes to pass. He would cease to be God if he failed to keep his word. God keeping his word is inherent to his very nature, to who he is as God. Because he is God, he cannot fail to do all that he says. Because he is God, speaking and doing are one and the same. As the Puritan David Clarkson wrote:

“He would cease to be God if he failed to perform any promise. For he ceases to be God when he ceases to be most perfect. If he does not perform his promises, this divests him of all perfection. If he does not perform his promises it is either that he will not, or cannot. He would lack either in power, or in wisdom. If he never intended to perform, then how is he upright? If he intended, but now has changed his mind, how is he unchangeable? If he is not unchangeable, he is not eternal. As sure as he is God he will perform his promises…He engages himself when he engages his word. Men can be men, though unfaithful, but God cannot be God; he cannot deny himself.”[1]

This means we not only cling to the promises in Scripture, but we can know without a doubt they are certain. We don’t read them as wishes or hopes. We don’t read them as merely inspiring words that lift us up in the moment. God’s word is the same as his actions. Just as he spoke and the world came into being, so too will all his promises come to be.

Consider the significance of promises such as:

• “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Matt. 11:28).

• “…he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ” (Phil. 1:6).

• “He will also keep you firm to the end, so that you will be blameless on the day of our Lord Jesus Christ” (1 Cor. 1:8 NIV).

• “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 Jn. 1:9).

• “And he who was seated on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new.” Also he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true” (Rev. 21:5).

What encouragement for we who fail to keep our word! What remarkable truth for we who live by the motto, “do as I say, not as I do!” Dear friend, as you read God’s word, as you read the statements God makes about you, as you read his promises for you in Christ, as you read his declarations about who he is and what he has done, know that whatever God wills always comes to pass. What he says is the same as what he does. Rejoice and give thanks to your promise making and promise keeping God!

[1] Voices from the Past: Puritan Devotional Readings, p. 194.

When We Fear Change

When you first have children, you quickly learn the importance of establishing a routine and some structure in their lives. Meal times and nap times are sacred. It’s always three stories before bed and Mr. Bear must lie next to the pillow, or life just isn’t right. Children thrive in a routine. And when things change, when anything changes, they are quick to let you know that they don’t like it.

The same is often true for us, as adults. We don’t like change either. We like things to be familiar and predictable. We like to know what to expect when we wake up each morning. But life is constantly changing.

Our kids seem to grow inches in a day. New gray hairs emerge every time we look in the mirror. The clothes we wore a year ago just don’t fit the way they used to. We lose jobs, relationships end, and churches transition or split. All while our society changes its values and mores as often as a preschooler changes into dress up clothes.

When such changes enter our life, it’s overwhelming, confusing, even terrifying. We can go to bed at night to one reality and wake up to a completely different life. Change can make us feel lost and abandoned, like we’ve been tossed overboard in the midst of a storm. We’re left reeling, trying to grab a hold of anything we can find that’s strong and stable. We’re tempted to run from change, as though we could ever escape it...to read the rest of this post, visit Desiring God. 

When Suffering Doesn't End

For many of us, when we go through a trial or season of suffering, it comes to an end. After a season of unemployment, we get a new job. After a period of sickness or struggle with our health, we get better. After a hard period of conflict in our marriage, we work through it and come out stronger on the other side. 

But sometimes, for some of us, the struggle doesn't end. The suffering doesn't go away. No matter how much we pray and read the Bible, the depression looms large. The cancer resists treatment. Our child still defies Christ. We lose the house to bankruptcy.

What do we do with suffering that doesn't go away? Some in Christian circles would say that God doesn't want us to suffer, that we need to believe, claim promises, expect things to change, and do everything we can to make it happen. The problem is, when we do all those things and the suffering doesn't end, what then? For some believers, this shakes the foundation of their faith and they stumble and fall.

Don't Build on Sand

One of my kids favorite things to do at the beach is build an tower out of sand and create tunnels in and around it for water to run through. Then they wait for the tide to come back in and see what happens.  At first the water just flows in and around the construction but when the strong waves start to come in, their tower falls apart.

We all know the children's praise song, "the wise man built his house upon a rock." (You may even remember the hand motions to it!) It makes sense: don't build a house on sand for sand isn't stable. But how often do we build our faith on sand? How often do we rest in teachings, beliefs, and even emotions that shift as easily as the sand with the rising tide? 

Our faith needs to stand on something more real and solid than what we wish and desire to happen. It needs to rest on something more constant and firm than the latest fads of culture or teachings that aren't consistent with God's word. 

It needs to rest in the character of God.

Build on the Character of God

The truth is, we might never know why something has happened to us (read the book of Job, he never heard that back story we all know). We might never see an end to our suffering in sight. We might do all we know to do and still barely make it through the day.

But in the midst of the darkness, the light of truth still shines (John 1:5). We can rest in the truth of who God is and know that though we might never know why we have lost a loved one or when our pain will end or if we'll have relief to our sorrow, our God is good, sovereign, faithful, righteous, holy, merciful, and gracious. "Then the LORD passed by in front of him and proclaimed, 'The LORD, the LORD God, compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in lovingkindness and truth'" (Exodus 34:6).

This is what the prophet Habakkuk new and why he could say, "Though the fig tree should not blossom, nor fruit be on the vines, the produce of the olive fail and the fields yield no food, the flock be cut off from the fold and there be no herd in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the LORD; I will take joy in the God of my salvation. GOD, the Lord, is my strength; he makes my feet like the deer’s; he makes me tread on my high places" (3:17-19).

This is what David knew and why he could write "The LORD is my light and my salvation;
whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid? When evildoers assail me to eat up my flesh, my adversaries and foes, it is they who stumble and fall. Though an army encamp against me, my heart shall not fear; though war arise against me,
yet I will be confident" (Psalm 27:1-3).

This is what the sons of Korah knew and why they could sing "God is our refuge and strength,
a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble at its swelling" (Psalm 46:1-3).

These passages reveal a common theme. They all have an "even if" scenario. Even if there is no food, even if an army comes and attacks us, even if the mountains fall into the sea, God is our salvation. Because these authors knew God and they knew his character, whatever happened in their life, they knew they could trust him. They knew that even if the very worst thing happened, God was still God. 

There are no guarantees that life will be easy, comfortable, and pain-free. As Jesus said, "I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world” (John 16:33). Our peace comes not because our life is problem free but from our unity with Christ. In fact, he doesn't promise a tear-free life. He doesn't say that if we follow him, life will be smooth sailing and all our dreams will come true. Rather, he says we will face heartache in this world. But he also calls us to look at the big picture: Christ has overcome the world. He has conquered sin and death. He has redeemed us. He is our salvation. Eternity awaits us. 

For some of us, we will live a life of suffering. We may struggle with chronic pain (as Paul did). We may never be free of sorrow or conflict or struggle. If we face that suffering while standing on sand, we will get pulled under. Instead, we need to stand on solid ground. We need to focus on who God is and what he has done. We need to know our God. We need to know his character. Then we too can say along with David, "The LORD is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?"