A Prayer to the King of Kings

2020 contained a series of events which threw me for a loop. As everyone says, what we experienced was “unprecedented.” I saw things happen which I never expected to see. I often felt like I was living in some kind of Dystopian novel or watching a far fetched movie about some distant future.

Then we entered a new year and I hoped the string of unfortunate events was over. Or at least those which were “unprecedented.”

The last week taught me otherwise.

When life gets flipped upside down and I feel overwhelmed and helpless, I do the only thing I know to do: pray. So I sat down and cried out to the King of Kings.

A Prayer to the King of Kings

Father in heaven,

I come before you filled with shock and grief. Watching the news unfold as people stormed the Capitol was devastating. It was surreal, like I was watching a movie. It is hard to believe how our nation has plummeted into so much anger and disunity over the past year, and in the case of last week, lawlessness. These past months, I’ve grieved the division and finger pointing and lines drawn in the sand. I’ve felt sorrow and heartache almost every time I scrolled through social media or watched the evening news. Yet, I also can believe all that has happened. The sin nature we inherited from our first parents means humanity is capable of far worse than we can imagine. It also means sin isn’t something over there, outside of us, or only in those we disagree with; it is in all of us.

So, I come before you, the King of Kings. For you alone rule over the nations. You alone are the supreme sovereign over all things. In your hand, the hearts of kings are as a stream of water; you turn it where you will. You are also the source and fountain of grace. You shower the rain down over both the just and unjust. You provide food for needy. You sustain every living thing. You know the end from the beginning and determine all things. Not a hair falls from my head apart from your will.

Forgive me for my worries and fears as I consider the future to come. As I worry about where our nation is headed. As I fear the ripple effects of all that has occurred. As I fear for the state of the church, your Bride. Forgive me for my forgetfulness, for forgetting that You are King and ruler over all. You are not surprised by the events of last year or of last week. You never left your throne or yielded your scepter to another. Forgive me for my self-righteousness and pride, for forgetting that I am saved by grace alone, not by anything I have done. Forgive me for failing to love others as myself— for failing to see the sorrow and pain in those around me and acting to relieve it. Forgive me for not being a light in the darkness, not living for you in this world.

Father, I pray for awakened hearts and minds. Only you can do this. Only you can give ears to those who need to hear the gospel. I pray you would transform hearts and lives. I pray you would bring peace and unity. I pray you would restrain evil by your common grace. Help me to trust that even when things seem the darkest, you are at work. You always fulfill your purposes.

Help me not to fear but to trust in you as my King. Help me to remember my citizenship is in heaven. Help me to live for you and your glory, not for my own. Help me to keep my gaze fixed not on the news or on the opinions of others or on idols which inevitably fail, but on Jesus Christ, who alone is my salvation. May the truths of the gospel be the rock upon which I stand.

Protect and preserve your church. Help us to be salt and light. Help us to stand for truth. Help us to love our communities well. Grant church leaders with wisdom and discernment. Raise up godly leaders to shepherd your people. Shower your grace upon our pastors as they endure more criticism, discouragement, and hardship than we likely know. Help us to follow in the steps of Jesus in all that we say and do.

And my most fervent request: Come quickly, Lord Jesus! Return and make all things right and new.

Until that day, I pray all this in Jesus’ name, amen.

When You Need Hope for the New Year

As 2020 came to a close, I don’t know about you, but I breathed a sigh of relief. I was all too ready to close that difficult chapter on a very hard year. To put the chaos and heartache of the year behind me. To move on to something new and better.

Flipping the calendar page to a fresh new year always gives me a sense of anticipation. Expectation. Hope. Promise. Do you ever feel that way? Do you ever think: Maybe this year will be the year I finally_____. Change jobs? Move? Get married? Have a baby? Grow the ministry? See that goal I’ve worked so hard for finally come to fruition?

And above all, move on from a pandemic?

For some of us though, a new year may not announce a new opportunity or bring hope for change or provide anticipation that a dream will come true. Rather, it rings in with dread, fear, or disappointment. For some, an unwanted medical procedure looms on the horizon. For others, a new year brings a job loss or worse, another year of unemployment. Some flip the calendar page knowing that the relationship conflict they've been in all last year will only continue on into the next or that the grief they carried in 2020 will only follow them into 2021. 

Not everyone will see this new year as the promise of something new and better, but more of the same, and perhaps, the announcement of something worse. 

If you are looking at the year ahead and feel a sense of dread, I want to encourage you. If you fear that 2021 will simply be a repeat of 2020, I want to point you to hope. 2021, though filled with unknowns, is not unknown. Though it may contain heartache, challenge, and difficulty, is not a year to fear. That's because God knows what lies ahead for you. He knows each day and every moment to come. As David wrote, "all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be" (Psalm 139:16). All the days of this year have been written in God's book and he writes a good story. He carefully constructed the moments of 2021 in exactly the right order as they should be. He wove the threads of time to bring about what you need most this year.

For those who trust in Christ for their salvation, God has promised to work all things—the good, the not-so-good, and the bad—together for ultimate good. "And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified" (Romans 8:28-30).

While we tend to start a new year with grand plans and a few weeks later, give up and move on, God finishes what he starts. Those whom he chose before all time, he also called to himself. Those whom he called to be his own, he also saved by grace, through the blood of Christ. Those whom he saved, he also transforms and makes holy. From before the beginning of time, to this moment now, God is unfolding and following through on his plan to redeem and transform both you and I into the likeness of Jesus.  

As you stand on the precipice of 2021, don't fear the future for it is in the hands of your sovereign God. Don't dread the unknown for it is fully known by your omniscient Father. Don't grow weary by the challenges to come, for God is with you. He is actively involved in every moment you face this year and is your help in all trouble (Psalm 46:1). He is your refuge and your strength. He will never leave you.

Whatever challenges or trials come your way this year, remember God is and what he has done. Remember that he is good and righteous and sovereign. Remember that he loved you before time began and chose you to be his beloved. Remember that he sacrificed his Son to redeem you and make you his own. Remember that he gave you his Spirit to work in you, in both the good and the bad, to change and re-shape you. And remember, unlike New Year's resolutions, God always finishes what he starts (Philippians 1:6).  

Instead of the New Year being a harbinger of bad things to come, may it instead be a reminder of the One who is even now making all things new—including each of us. May Christ be our source of hope in 2021.

The Gift of the Incarnation

What’s the best gift you’ve received? Perhaps it was your first bike, complete with a basket, bell, and fringe hanging from the handles. Maybe it was the doll you long wanted, the one that came with a matching outfit for you to wear. Or maybe it wasn’t something wrapped in a box, but an experience like a visit to Disney or to watch your favorite team play.

This time of year, gifts are on our mind. We have our lists and we check them twice. We search the stores—or these days, virtual stores—for just the right gift for all our family and friends. The Christmas season is a celebration of the greatest gift of all: God himself. Immanuel. God in the flesh.

An excerpt from my book, A Holy Fear:

What is striking is that the great I AM—the One who has no beginning or end, the One who flung the stars in the sky, the One who is surrounded by creatures who cannot look on His face, the One who could not let Moses see His face and live—wrapped Himself in human flesh and dwelt among us: “And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth” (John 1:14). God incarnated as a human baby, woven in the womb and born of the virgin Mary.

The incarnation is a wondrous act that, when considered, brings forth awe and wonder. Jesus Christ is the second person of the Trinity, equal with the Father and the Holy Spirit. He always is and always was. He was there before time began, when He and the Father determined to save His people from their sins. He was there at creation, when our triune God brought life into being. Paul tells us in Philippians 2 that Jesus did not consider that equality something to cling to, as a reason not to serve, but He left the halls of heaven to come to earth and took the form of a servant. He entered this world not as a king but as a baby. He lived not in a palace but in a village as a carpenter’s son. As Isaiah described Him:

He is despised and rejected by men, A Man of sorrows and acquainted with grief. And we hid, as it were, our faces from Him; He was despised, and we did not esteem Him. (Isa. 53:3)

In the incarnation, Jesus did not give up His deity, for He was fully God and fully man. As the God-man, Jesus could do what we could not do: obey the law of God. And in so doing, He became the perfect sacrifice for our sin: “He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him” (2 Cor. 5:21).

The incarnation was the only way to rescue and redeem us. It was the only way to bring us back into the presence of God. It was the only way to make us His own. What wonder! What a miracle! What mystery! As John Calvin wrote:

It was his task to swallow up death. Who but the Life could do this? It was his task to conquer sin. Who but very Righteousness could do this? It was his task to rout the powers of world and air. Who but a power higher than world and air could do this? Now where does life or righteousness, or lordship and authority of heaven lie but with God alone? Therefore our most merciful God, when he willed that we be redeemed, made himself our Redeemer in the person of his only-begotten Son.[1]

What’s even more amazing is that Jesus Christ reigns in heaven in His resurrected body. He remains enfleshed. Consider the significance that God would not only incarnate to live and die for us but that He would remain the God-man for eternity—scars and all.

This Christmas, may we take time to pause and dwell on what it means that God became flesh. And may we rejoice at the gift of Jesus Christ, born to save.

1 John Calvin, The Institutes of the Christian Religion (Philadelphia: Westminster Press, 1960), 2.12.3.

When Fear Lingers

Many years ago, a co-worker and I witnessed a deadly motorcycle accident. We stopped at the scene and waited for the police and rescue to arrive. Afterward, I couldn’t get the images of the accident out of my mind. I saw them all during the day and they haunted me all through the night. At the time, I worked at a family counseling center and my boss was a psychologist so he helped me work through it. I never again returned to the intersection of that accident.

I shared here recently that I was in a serious accident over a month ago. I’ve had both good days and bad days since. Unlike my experience those many years ago, I can’t avoid the intersection where my accident happened because it is right by my house; I have to drive through it every day. One evening, I drove by an accident in the same location as my own and my body had a strong physical response. Another day, I drove through the same intersection and was startled by cars driving recklessly and angry honking horns. I cried all the way down the road.

To be honest, there are some days I’d like to never get in a car again.

As a counselor, I know how to help myself get through these difficult moments and how to help myself calm down. I also understand what is happening to me. As I wrote in A Holy Fear, “We are not just physical beings nor are we only spiritual beings; we are both, and as such, each aspect of our being affects the other. This means that our fears can affect us physically, or vice versa…for people who have experienced trauma in their life, their bodies remember that trauma long after the fact, often causing them to feel haunted by their past.” There has been much research in recent years on how the body remembers traumatic experiences. Retelling such experiences can be retraumatizing, further imprinting it in the body and mind. I’ve already seen how my body remembers the accident. This makes me be all the more patient with myself, knowing it will take time for my mind to heal from this experience.

Though I do wish this fear was like the fear I felt before a surgery—one that went away once I woke up from the procedure and realized everything was okay. Instead, this fear lingers on. I now feel like a new driver, cautious and hyper aware of other drivers. Life feels more fragile than ever. The natural fear of harm I’ve felt in times past is more profound now. The world doesn’t feel safe and danger lurks around every corner.

While I know God is greater than my fear, it doesn’t always feel that way, especially when my heart pounds and I feel nauseas and the tears start streaming. Some days, my fears seem large and imposing and I sometimes wonder if they’ll have the victory over me. All I can do in that moment is cling to what I know is always true, regardless of how I feel in the moment. That’s why I’m praying the psalmist’s prayer in Psalm 57, one David prayed while facing natural fears of his own. King Saul and his men were on a mission to hunt him down and kill him. David feared for his life. While in hiding he wrote, “Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful to me, for in you my soul takes refuge; in the shadow of your wings I will take refuge, till the storms of destruction pass by” (v.1). He looked to God as his refuge in the face of his fears. He sought the Lord to deliver him. Some days, the only prayer I can utter is as basic as “Lord, help me!” as I drive down the road. Though my fears shout at me to stay home and not get in the car again, I’m looking to the truth of who God is. I’ve set David’s words on repeat in my heart, “For your steadfast love is great to the heavens, your faithfulness to the clouds” (v.10).

The Lord has brought helpful friends into my life to encourage me and pray for me in these moments, a testimony of God’s kindness and grace. These friends have shared with me similar experiences they’ve had with car accidents and it is comforting to know that my experiences are to be expected and that things will improve in time. And, if they don’t improve, I will find someone to help me work through it. Meanwhile, I’m intentionally giving my mind and heart a rest.

These fears I’m facing are another reminder to me that this world is not as it should be. Natural fear is a glaring reminder of the fall of man and the pervasive impact of sin on this world. How I long all the more for Christ to return and make all things new! Until he does, I rest in the truth that he is with me and he will carry me through. I move forward one day at a time, facing my fears, and clinging to David’s words: “God will send out his steadfast love and his faithfulness!” (Ps. 57:3).

On A Holy Fear, Giveaway Opportunities, and More

In A Holy Fear: Trading Lesser Fears for the Fear of the Lord, I explore the covenant name of God: the LORD. I explain what it means and why it is so significant. As the most used name for God in the Bible, it is important that we understand it. In the context of the book, understanding this name helps us learn to fear him. And when it comes to the fears of life, the name of God reminds us that he is our place of safety.

As I thought and dwelled on God’s name, and as I studied the topic of the fear of the Lord, I wrote a poem, which is found at the start of the book.

Safe in Him, Our Tall Tower

“The name of the LORD is a strong tower; The righteous run to it and are safe” (Proverbs 18:10).

When fear rolls in like a storm cloud
and overshadows my mind,
I freeze and cower like a prey,
My thoughts jumbled and confined

I quit before I ever start;
the journey is danger-filled—
all the unknowns, risks, and what if’s—
Life pauses at a standstill

I live an observer of life,
watching time pass on by me
while my fears consume and control
How I long to be set free!

Then I open your Word and read
of One good and full of grace
The Great I Am who keeps and saves
and calls me before his face

He rules and reigns over all
None can thwart his will and plan
All creation bows before him—
none can snatch me from his hand

Before him all fear fades and shrinks
at Yahweh’s might and power
When we fear him above all else,
we’re safe in him, our tall tower

Where to Find the Book

A Holy Fear released last week on Amazon and immediately sold out. But never fear (see what I did there?), there are additional places you can find it.

Westminster Bookstore has a great deal going on right now for A Holy Fear (40% off!). Click here to learn more.

You can also order it from the publisher here.

Christian Book Distributors also carries it.

Want to learn more? Here are a few opportunities:

Are you a podcast listener? Listen in to my conversation with Theology Gals about A Holy Fear. Click here.

Did you read the excerpt of A Holy Fear at The Gospel Coalition? Click here to read.

I wrote a piece for A Beautiful Christian Life on how we can grow in our fear of the Lord. You can read that here.

Here’s a video in which I talk about the book. Click here to watch.

But above all, I don’t want you to miss this:

***I am running giveaways over on my Facebook Page and on Instagram (@christinarfox). Hop on over and leave a comment to enter for a chance to win a copy of A Holy Fear.

Reflections on My Own Fear

As a writer, I often have the opportunity to live out what I write about— to practice what I preach, so to speak. It is where what I say I believe is put to the test. This happens in countless small ways, as well as in big, life changing moments.

With my new book, A Holy Fear: Trading Lesser Fears for the Fear of the Lord, coming out, I recently had the opportunity to face my fears up close and apply what I wrote in the book. A couple of weeks ago, I was t-boned by a drunk driver. It was terrifying. There is no other word for it.

As a result of the accident, the traffic was backed up so much, my husband could not come from home to be with me at the accident scene. My son was able to park nearby and he drove me home. As he drove, I kept saying, “I could have died. I could have died.”

He responded, “Mom, God is in control. He didn’t want you to die, so you didn’t.”

Given the speed of the driver and the circumstances, it still amazes me that I walked away from the accident without any major injuries, or worse. But it shouldn’t amaze or surprise me, given what I know to be true about the God who rules over all things.

My son’s quick response has stayed with me the past two weeks. I’ve mulled over it. I’ve repeated it to myself. What I said to him the night of the accident was not true; I simply could not have died because God did not will for me to die at that intersection. One of my friend’s uses the phrase “the school of God’s sovereignty” to describe life lessons learned about our sovereign God. It’s a good phrase and one which describes well the training I’ve received in recent weeks. This training has pointed me to the God who alone knows the number of my days.

The point of A Holy Fear is to direct the gaze of fearful hearts—including my own!—away from our lesser fears and upward to the holy One seated on his throne. To see the One who is wholly other; the One who rules over all. To marvel at the One who flung the stars across the galaxy, who scatters the frost like ashes, and who numbers each hair on our head. To be wonderstruck that such a One would set his love on us and make us his own. To glory and savor his generous love and grace poured out on us in Christ. To prostrate our hearts before him in utter amazement that he would welcome us into his presence. And as a result, to see him as greater than all that we fear, including death itself.

For he is greater.

A Holy Fear is about the fear of the Lord, but this fear is not like the fear I felt when the truck struck my driver’s side door and pushed me across the road. It’s not like the fear we’ve felt all year in the face of a pandemic. It’s not like the fear we’ve felt as we’ve looked ahead to an unknown future. This fear is a fear rooted in awe, wonder, reverence, adoration, and trust. It is a fear born out of love—the love of a child for a Father. It’s a fear which C.H. Spurgeon said was shorthand for “expressing real faith, hope, love, holiness of living, and every grace which makes up true godliness.”

These past couple of weeks I’ve been relishing these truths afresh. I’ve been enjoying the sweet taste of God’s grace for me. And learning anew what it looks like to face my own fears with a holy fear— the fear of the One who is greater.

Want to learn more about what it means to fear the Lord? You can find my new book here.