When You Feel Weak in Faith

"I tried Mommy, but I just can't do it!" moaned my son. He curled up on the couch and cried. Sitting down beside him, I said "You're right. You can't. But God can. Let's pray about it together."

I often look at my children and see my own heart and my own struggles. Sometimes I look at the road ahead, see an obstacle and think, "There's no way around it. It's impossible." When I consider my life circumstances and the trials seem insurmountable, I throw up my hands and think, "I'm stuck. I'll never get out of this mess." Feeling overwhelmed and in despair, I simply give up. Like my son, I want to curl up and cry.

The truth is, my faith often seems quite small. Imperfect. Weak.

In Exodus 4, Moses and Aaron told the Israelites that God would deliver them from Pharaoh. They showed them signs and wonders. They believed that God sent Moses to deliver them and they worshiped God. Then in chapter 5, Moses went before Pharaoh for the first time and told him to let the Israelites go. He responded in anger and made the work load harder for the people. They were punished and beaten. The Israelites went to Moses and Aaron and said, "May the Lord look on you and judge you! You have made us obnoxious to Pharaoh and his officials and have put a sword in their hand to kill us.” (v.21).

I do the same thing. I say I believe God can do anything and then when he does things differently than I expect, I stomp my feet and say he did it wrong. I follow him when he gives me what I want, but as soon as scarcity arrives, I complain and say "This is not how I'm supposed to be treated!" I grumble about the provisions I'm given and returning to slavery begins to look appealing. When the future seems filled with giants, I'm like the returning spies who want to give it all up and return to the desert rather than believe the promised land is worth the effort to stay and fight.

I know I'm not alone in this. I receive emails all the time from people struggling with doubts and feelings of insufficiency. Even in Scripture I see that I'm not alone in my weak faith. In fact, over and over in Scripture, I see Jesus extending grace and accepting the imperfect faith of those he called. He often admonished the disciples by saying, "O you of little faith!" They constantly questioned him and doubted what he could do. Even after witnessing Jesus feeding the five thousand, they were concerned when they didn't have anything to eat. Jesus said, “O you of little faith, why are you discussing among yourselves the fact that you have no bread? Do you not yet perceive? Do you not remember the five loaves for the five thousand, and how many baskets you gathered? (Matthew 16:8-9). Yet, these were the very men whom Jesus entrusted with starting the church.

Those who came to him for healing didn't have complete faith either. The woman who had bled for twelve years came to him with a combination of superstition, doubt, and faith and touched the edge of his cloak. Yet he accepted her efforts and healed her. A man asked Jesus to heal his demon possessed son saying, "But if you can do anything, take pity on us and help us.” (Mark 9:22) "Jesus responded, ‘If you can?' said Jesus. 'Everything is possible for one who believes.' Immediately the boy’s father exclaimed, 'I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!'” (vs. 23-24).

In Calvin's commentary on the book of Mark he commented on how God responds to our weak faith: "This agrees with what I have lately noticed, that God deals kindly and gently with his people, —accepts their faith, though imperfect and weak,—and does not lay to their charge the faults and imperfections with which it is connected...Though we have not such abundance of faith as might be desired, there is no reason why our weakness should drive away or discourage us from prayer.”

This is what I want my children to understand and what I want my own heart to grasp: It's not about what I can do but about what God has already done through Jesus on my behalf. It's not the strength of my faith which saves me but the object of my faith. It's who my faith is in and not how strong it is that matters. Though my faith is weak and imperfect, I need to come to God in prayer saying, "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!"

Francis Schaeffer received numerous letters from people asking him questions about the Christian life. I have a book where Francis Schaeffer shares some of those letters, along with his responses. One of my favorites is between Schaeffer and a man who struggled with doubts. Schaeffer responded: "You may go through a period of darkness, but once we have accepted Christ as our Savior he has promised to hold us fast forever. Our salvation does not rest upon our holding on to Christ, but upon his work as He died upon the cross. Because He is God, His death has infinite value and can cover every spot. Thus when He promises to hold us fast and to never let us go, He is doing so upon the basis of the infinite value of His shed blood as He died for us....You have been in a relationship to this personal God—in the way God Himself has provided through the work of Christ— and as such you can look to Him to help you through the darkness." (in Letters to Francis Schaeffer, p.142).

Here's what I know to be true: in this life I will face trials, circumstances, and mountains that are too high for me to climb. I will have fears, doubts, and worries. I will feel weak in faith. Like the Israelites, I may see God's wonders in my life one day but the very next day doubt he can provide my daily bread. But I must keep my eyes focused not on my circumstances or on how strong I feel, but on the object of my faith: Jesus Christ. His blood is sufficient; his grace is more than abundant to cover my weakness. I must come to him, no matter how weak my faith and ask him to help me in my unbelief. And though there may be times when I just can't hold on, I have to remember that Jesus never lets go of me.

What about you? Do you ever feel weak in faith?

Sufficient in our Insufficiency

I have a confession. I don't like weakness. I don't like feeling helpless. I don't like not knowing how to do something. I don't like feeling incapable. I don't like being insufficient.

To make matters worse, there are many areas of my life where I find myself feeling weak, helpless, and incapable: motherhood, homeschooling, ministry, marriage, and friendship.  I have several new projects and ministry opportunities I am working on this year and while I am excited about each of them, I am also overwhelmed by my insufficiency. I lack wisdom, strength, and experience. 

And while I'm being honest, I might as well admit that I feel most weak, incapable, and insufficient about my first book coming out this spring. Sometimes, I'm downright terrified about it. You may think it strange to be terrified about such an exciting event. Many writers compare writing a book to having a child and that's how I feel--excited but also terrified. 

Have you ever been in a place where you simply don't know what to do? Or feel inadequate? Perhaps you've been given a great responsibility and you know you don't have it in you to accomplish it. The task looms large and impossible before you. Failure seems certain.  

If you are in a similar place as I, where you feel the depths of your insufficiency, the gospel speaks right to our problem. It reminds us that yes, we are insufficient, but Christ was sufficient for us when he lived a perfect life in our place. It reminds us that he took the wrath of God that we deserved when he bore all our sins on the cross. Through faith in Christ, God looks at us and doesn't see our insufficiency. He sees Christ's sufficiency instead. So we are sufficient in our insufficiency because Christ was sufficient for us.

But that's not the end of the good news. God is at work, even now, making us increasingly sufficient and capable. He is working in us, through all our weaknesses, and making us useful for his Kingdom purposes. God did not save us because we were sufficient on our own and he doesn't use us because we are already capable.  

Unlike applying for a job where you have to present the necessary skills and experience to get the job, with God, he doesn't use people who are already experienced and capable. Moses was not a natural born leader. David was the youngest of all his brothers. Mary was not the natural choice to mother a King. Uneducated Peter was an unlikely candidate to start the church. But in God's unexpected and upside down Kingdom, he uses the weak and helpless and makes them capable and sufficient. As God works in us, people don't see our strength and wisdom but the strength and wisdom of God through us. And God gets the glory. 

The wonder of God's grace is that we have everything we need to do what God has called us to. "His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence, by which he has granted to us his precious and very great promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped from the corruption that is in the world because of sinful desire" (2 Peter 1:3-4). "But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me" (2 Corinthians 12:9). This means that when God calls us to a task, he gives us everything we need to accomplish it through Christ. 

So being in a place where we feel insufficient, incapable, and weak is exactly where we need to be. We don't have to fear being there. We don't have to fear not knowing what to do because we have everything we need in Christ. He is our sufficiency both in our salvation and in our sanctification. And he has promised to finish the work he started in us (Philippians 1:6, 1 Corinthians 1:8). 

In my own life, as I consider the tasks before me, I don't have to despair over my weaknesses. I don't have to worry about completing the tasks God has given me. Instead, I can rest knowing that Christ is sufficient for me. Like Paul, I can even boast in my weakness, knowing that God will get the glory. Whatever God calls me to this year, he will make me capable. Through Christ, I am sufficient in my insufficiency.

And so are you.