In recent months, I’ve had the opportunity to do a few “book club” type events around my book, Idols of a Mother’s Heart. At these events, mother’s of all ages gather together to talk about the concepts in my book. I ask questions and the women respond and share with one another.
What I’ve loved most about these events is seeing the diversity in ages and stages of life. I love hearing women in their seventies talk about motherhood, while moms in their twenties and thirties listen in. I love hearing stories from people ahead and me and from those behind me and realizing that they are the same.
I love watching the admonitions in Titus 2 unfold before my eyes.
Too often in our churches, those in the season of early motherhood stick together with other young moms. That’s how it was for me. The other young moms and I in my church got together for weekly play dates. We met and prayed together. We shared our frustrations, questions, and heartaches of mothering together. And while there is nothing wrong with moms of similar age and stage gathering together for encouragement, and I highly encourage it, there’s also something missing.
What’s missing is older women. Older moms who have walked the road before us. Older moms who have wisdom and encouragement to share with younger moms.
Because things change so much in our culture over the decades, we assume that older women wouldn’t understand what it’s like to raise children in our time and season. We think that the challenges we face are too different than that faced in the past. Not only that, but technology, new scientific research, and simply the way we care for and raise our children changes with each generation. And while there is truth to that, there are aspects to motherhood that remain the same, no matter the generation or culture or technology.
Specifically, a mother’s heart.
No matter our age or stage of life as moms, we all are sinners. We all battle with idolatry in our heart. We all say and do things that defy God’s law and hurt others. We also all have doubts, fears, and sorrows. We all long for wisdom and discernment as we parent our children. We all want to do our best as mothers and glorify God in the process. And above all, we all need a Savior.
This is common ground upon which all mothers stand. This is the place where older and younger mothers meet. This is where older mothers can encourage and walk alongside younger moms. And where we can live out the Titus 2 command:
“Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled. Likewise, urge the younger men to be self-controlled” (vv.3-6).
In recent years, I’ve asked older moms in the empty nest stage of life to share their experiences. I want to know what the terrain looks like ahead in the journey. I want to prepare my heart now for what’s to come. As I do, I learn from their experience and wisdom as they show me how the gospel applies to that specific season of life.
Moms, let’s make an effort to reach beyond our immediate circle of same age and stage moms. Let’s look to those ahead of us and seek their wisdom. Tell them what mothering is like in our current generation and the challenges we face. Listen and learn from their own stories of motherhood. And rejoice together in the good news of the gospel, that no matter our age and stage, we have a Savior who is wisdom and hope for us in motherhood.
