Planning a Women's Retreat for Your Church

People often ask me, “What do you enjoy the most: writing or speaking?”

I usually respond by saying, “Both.”

Writing is my first love; speaking is a surprise love. I began retreat speaking because writing and speaking go hand in hand. It’s something I’m supposed to do as a writer because it is a helpful way to promote my books. But what surprised me was how much I enjoy it. I love meeting women from across the country and learning how God is at work in their communities. It encourages my heart to see the Body thriving and laboring for the Kingdom in places far and wide. The church universal is beautiful and I love meeting her.

As a speaker, I’ve attended numerous retreats over the years. As a women’s ministry coordinator, I also help plan retreats for my church. The following are some tips for those who are preparing a retreat for their own church…to read the rest of this piece, visit enCourage.

Photo by The Climate Reality Project on Unsplash

Quarantine: Two Months In

Our family has been homebound since the beginning of March. Two months of staying at home. Two months of social distancing. Two months of this new way of doing life.

In previous posts, I shared some of the disappointments, laments, and thoughts I’ve had during these weeks. Today, I thought I’d do something different and just share what I’ve been up to during quarantine. Granted, nothing too exciting has happened, but I find it interesting to hear what other people are up to, perhaps you do too?

Much Remains the Same

The past two months have found me doing a lot of what I would normally do: keeping up with household chores, cooking, supervising my children and their schoolwork, writing, and other ministry related tasks. Some of these normal tasks have grown though. For example, my husband typically travels each week for work so the kids and I don’t make a big deal about meals. Since we have all been at home, I’ve been cooking A LOT! And running the dishwasher! I actually enjoy cooking so I’ve tried new recipes, made some I haven’t made in a long time (blueberry zucchini bread is a family favorite), and even developed a habit of writing out a menu—two weeks worth at a time.

Our church has kept all the same activities and ministries going, just virtually, so I’ve participated in Bible study and small group. My kids remain involved with youth group through virtual prayer and Bible study and weekly youth group gatherings online.

Enjoying the Simple Things

Having to stay at home has certainly afforded me time to enjoy simple things. I’ve taken many walks and hikes. I’ve had lengthy quiet times with the Lord each morning. I’ve enjoy reading books, both fiction and non-fiction. One of my current reads is Help[H]er: A Churchwide Response for Women in Crisis, a book on crisis care ministry in the church. Spring is a favorite time of year and I’ve enjoyed watching spring unfold in all her splendor.

New Projects and Opportunities

One of my mom-isms that I have my children repeat to me out loud is “When God gives you extra time, use it wisely.” With my extra time these past two months, I completed two books projects. One is a book and study on the fear of the Lord. You can read a post inspired by it here. The other is a children’s book. You’ll hear more about that in coming months. I’m excited to see how the Lord will use both of these projects.

At my church, a few of us who are counselors started virtual support groups to help fellow church members think through and process all their emotions and uncertainties during this time. I’ve led one on lament and have found it mutually encouraging. I’ve loved digging back in to the Psalms and walking through the laments with my sisters in Christ.

I’m a wannabe creative and one day hope to learn to draw and paint. A group of ladies at my church meets each week to work on projects together. The past few weeks, I’ve joined in on their virtual calls to see what they’ve been creating. The only creative thing I’ve done during quarantine is a few black-out poems, which I shared with the group. I find these poems both challenging and relaxing at the same time and hope to do more of them.

Family Matters

I’ve enjoyed watching my kids navigate this strange and upside down in history. They’ve taken up working out together—strength training and running. We found an opportunity for them to train for a virtual marathon as well. They enjoy connecting with their friends via video conferencing and my youngest has set up a green screen to make fun backgrounds during his calls. They complain of boredom from time to time, but overall are doing better than I expected. It helps that they have plenty of school work to keep them busy.

Our family loves to laugh together and we’ve had plenty of time to do that these past two months. We’ve also played the board game, Pandemic, which I thought was a fitting game to play. It’s a bit complicated to learn, but I like that you play as a group. Each player works together to help stop the spread of viral outbreaks. One evening, we played some games virtually with another family via video conferencing. It was hilarious!

We’ve also been watching Tim Challies’ new video documentary series, Epic: An Around-the-World Journey through Christian History. We love history and have read many biographies of missionaries over the years. Tim’s journey around the world takes him to many of the places we’ve read about. It’s fascinating and a great activity to enjoy as a family. We’ve also been reading The Hiding Place together as a family. You can read some of my thoughts about it here.

So, that about sums up what I’ve been up to. How about you?

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Leading Like Christ

I have bins in my garage filled with mementos of my childhood. I think my mother saved every drawing, school assignment, and project. Worn Lisa Frank stickers cover binders and notebooks. Random movie stubs are buried there along with a Troll doll and my poor attempts at drawing unicorns.

My report cards are there as well, and at the bottom of each one, a teacher wrote, “she is too quiet and shy.”

Every. Single. One.

I grew up thinking of myself as a last row, back of the class kind of girl. The one who listens and soaks everything in, but has little to say. The one who helps and fills vacancies and works behind the scenes. Definitely not a leader. So much so, I’ve even argued with mentors over that fact.

To me, leaders were talkative and always had people listening to what they had to say. They told others what to do. They were assertive and loud. They pointed out problems and came up with solutions to those problems. They always knew what to say and what to do.

In adulthood, I’ve come to see that leadership is far different than my childhood perspective. A leader isn’t only those who run for student council. Leadership isn’t about a position of power and authority. A leader isn’t about being loud and in charge.

The Bible shows us that a leader is a servant. It is someone who wants to reflect her Savior and desires that others do the same. She seeks to walk alongside others and show them Jesus. She doesn’t care about having a particular position, being known, or having followers. She wants to serve as Jesus served her.

I’ve been thinking about leadership in recent months as our team plans our annual women’s ministry leadership conference based on a book written by two mentors of mine, Life-Giving Leadership.

The authors point out that one characteristic of a life-giving leader is the importance of dying to self. “We must die to live and we must die to lead. Death is painful and scary, but death is necessary for life—His life—to be formed in us. Life-giving leaders know they are nothing more than a tiny grain of wheat, called to a unique place of dirt where they are to die” (p. 21).

I’ve been focusing on this passage as I prepare for the leadership conference, considering what places in my life need to die in order for new life to grow:

“Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. Whoever loves his life loses it, and whoever hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. If anyone serves me, he must follow me; and where I am, there will my servant be also. If anyone serves me, the Father will honor him” (John 12:24-26).

Our Savior walked the path of life-giving leadership before us and calls us to follow in his steps. He set aside the glories of heaven to take on human flesh. He walked and lived among us in this broken and sinful world. He dined with outcasts and healed the forgotten. Though perfect and holy in every way, he lowered himself to wash his disciple’s feet. He taught and discipled and shepherded the lost. He was compassionate, gentle, and forbearing. While everyone expected him overthrow the powerful Roman government, he overthrew the power of sin instead. The One who was there at creation, who owns all things, was crucified outside the city gates as a common criminal. His death brought life to all who believe.

I’m thankful that leadership is more than what I thought it was as a child. Even more, I’m thankful for mentors who encourage and equip me in my own leadership, who set Christ-like examples for me. And I’m thankful for the Spirit who uses this ordinary cracked vessel to display his glory, in spite of my weaknesses. He enables me to do things I never thought I was capable of. To him be the glory!

Life on Life Discipleship

When you hear people talk about Titus 2 discipleship, what image comes to mind? Do you picture an older woman standing next to a whiteboard, instructing a small group of women? Do you imagine an older woman sending out weekly emails to her mentees with Bible passages to read and memorize? Do you see it as being like a Bible study, just with fewer women?

Titus 2 discipleship certainly involves instruction, Bible study, and possibly even memorization. It’s not less than that. But it’s also more. A lot more.

When Discipleship and Real Life Meet

Two Christmases ago, my husband tripped over a piece of furniture and fell, breaking his ankle. Any broken bone is problematic, but a broken ankle almost always requires surgery. And his did.

At the time, I was in a Titus 2 discipleship group. I shared with my group what happened and requested prayer. My group leader and spiritual mentor was a nurse. She checked in with me during the weeks leading up to my husband’s surgery to learn how she could pray for him and for our family. She used her knowledge as a nurse to advise me in his care... 

To read the rest of this post, visit Revive our Hearts.

You Can't Do Ministry Alone

My husband and I spent the last decade at our church wearing many hats. We filled whatever hole was vacant. We served, taught, led, shared, and gave all that we had to give. We have since moved away and now attend a new church. And now that we are in a new place, we realize we are tired. Exhausted. Empty and spent. Burned out.

Burnout is a common problem in ministry. One of the reasons for burnout is the tendency to try to do it all. We overbook, overcommit, and overtax ourselves. We fail to rest our bodies, our minds, and our souls. We try to function while on empty and push ourselves to the point where we can no longer function.

To read the rest of this post, visit Revive Our Hearts. 

Look Out for the New Girl

We just moved from one state to another. Everywhere I go, I am new. I am new to the neighborhood, new to the church, new to my kid’s activities. The roads are new to me. The way things are done in each place I go is new to me. I find myself having to preface everything I say with, “I’m new here, could you help me?”

I signed my youngest up for the neighborhood swim team and even though I explained that we were new and had never participated in a neighborhood swim team before, I had to ask multiple times about the process and procedure. That’s because there was a lot of information that everyone just assumed I knew. I just smiled and said, “We’re new here.”

What it’s like to be New

Being new is a bit overwhelming. There is a common language everyone has that a new person just doesn’t know. There are expectations and unwritten rules they aren’t privy to. A new person can end up feeling overwhelmed and out of place.

For me, being in a new place has opened my eyes to things I had not considered before. It has made me think about those who might be new to our ministries. What is it like for someone to walk into our Bible study for the first time or attend a women’s event or sign up for a discipleship group? How are they received and do they feel just as overwhelmed, lost, and confused as I have felt in moving to a new town?..to read the rest of this post, visit Revive Our Hearts.