How Children's Ministry Can Disciple Children in Their Emotions

The children who enter the children’s ministry classroom each week do not leave their baggage at the door. They arrive with all the feels accumulated throughout the week. They carry with them worries, sorrows, and cares from life lived in a fallen world.

One child might be worried about a test at school the next day. Another might bear anger toward a sibling for breaking a beloved toy earlier that morning. Still another might feel the weight of failure over a lost soccer game the day before.

Such emotions often feel heavy for children. They are seldom equipped to know how to respond to hard emotions. After all, understanding and responding to one’s emotions is something we all must learn. As a result, their responses might seem excessive or out of place to the adults around them. The tears shed when a child makes a mistake in her drawing during class seems exaggerated as does the angry response when a child doesn’t get to sit in his favorite seat next to his best friend.

That’s why it is helpful for children’s ministry staff and volunteers to not only teach and disciple children in God’s word, but also to help children learn what God has to say to their emotions. Throughout Scripture there are opportunities to teach children that God cares about them and calls them to bring their emotions to him in prayer…

Read the rest of this piece at the children’s ministry site, Grow.

Life Update

Ah summer. That sweet time of year where life slows down—where there’s no agenda and lazy afternoons are spent at the pool; where the only decisions to be made are what to read next and what do we want to grill for dinner tonight?

Well, not so much. At least for my family. We’ve been busy non-stop since school ended. It’s like we are making up for lost time, doing ALL THE THINGS. Traveling. Enjoying the great outdoors. Spending time with friends and family. Serving. Summer camps. Appointments. Sports practices. Projects.

You know, all the things.

I thought I’d catch you up on a few things we’ve been up to. My oldest attended a Summit Ministries camp at Covenant College in June. It’s a camp that helps teens learn to discuss their faith, engage culture, and develop a biblical worldview. My son talked for days afterward about his experiences. I highly recommend it.

Earlier this month I tagged along with our church’s youth group on a trip to Eastern Kentucky where we helped repair houses damaged by the floods this past spring. Our original trip was cancelled due to the pandemic and we had to pivot to serve a different ministry in a different location. The teens adjusted well to this change and over the course of the week learned to do things they’d never done. So did I! I discovered that I enjoy mudding drywall; it’s quite satisfying! We also attended a local bluegrass concert and everyone got on the dance floor.

With all our activity, I haven’t written much for the blog or for anywhere else. But I am in the editing process for two projects I finished this past spring. Like Our Father: How God Parents Us and Why That Matters for Our Parenting will release with Moody Publishers sometime next spring. Stay tuned to hear more about it. I’ve also written a follow up book to Tell God How You Feel, titled God Hears Your Heart. You can expect to hear more about that next year as well. This summer, I’ve also enjoyed doing some webinars with readers in Mexico about Los ídolos en el corazón de una madre.

Do you read Tabletalk Magazine? It’s a devotional magazine published by Ligonier Ministries. I will be writing for it every month during 2022. Keep an eye out for my weekend column!

After more than a year of cancelled speaking engagements, opportunities have picked up for me since the spring to speak at women’s ministry retreats and other events. I’ve been busy preparing for upcoming events both locally and in other states. I’ll be in Pennsylvania and Nebraska next month and look forward to speaking on relationships in the church and the fear of the Lord, respectively.

I have a new position in women’s ministries at my local church: co-coordinator. Our women’s ministry team is headed up by an older and a younger woman. In case you were wondering, I am the older woman of our duo. I’m excited to serve my church in this way. In addition, over the past year I’ve been working with my pastor on developing a counseling ministry to women in crisis. We’re hoping to launch it sometime soon.

How about you? What has your summer been like?

Quarantine: Two Months In

Our family has been homebound since the beginning of March. Two months of staying at home. Two months of social distancing. Two months of this new way of doing life.

In previous posts, I shared some of the disappointments, laments, and thoughts I’ve had during these weeks. Today, I thought I’d do something different and just share what I’ve been up to during quarantine. Granted, nothing too exciting has happened, but I find it interesting to hear what other people are up to, perhaps you do too?

Much Remains the Same

The past two months have found me doing a lot of what I would normally do: keeping up with household chores, cooking, supervising my children and their schoolwork, writing, and other ministry related tasks. Some of these normal tasks have grown though. For example, my husband typically travels each week for work so the kids and I don’t make a big deal about meals. Since we have all been at home, I’ve been cooking A LOT! And running the dishwasher! I actually enjoy cooking so I’ve tried new recipes, made some I haven’t made in a long time (blueberry zucchini bread is a family favorite), and even developed a habit of writing out a menu—two weeks worth at a time.

Our church has kept all the same activities and ministries going, just virtually, so I’ve participated in Bible study and small group. My kids remain involved with youth group through virtual prayer and Bible study and weekly youth group gatherings online.

Enjoying the Simple Things

Having to stay at home has certainly afforded me time to enjoy simple things. I’ve taken many walks and hikes. I’ve had lengthy quiet times with the Lord each morning. I’ve enjoy reading books, both fiction and non-fiction. One of my current reads is Help[H]er: A Churchwide Response for Women in Crisis, a book on crisis care ministry in the church. Spring is a favorite time of year and I’ve enjoyed watching spring unfold in all her splendor.

New Projects and Opportunities

One of my mom-isms that I have my children repeat to me out loud is “When God gives you extra time, use it wisely.” With my extra time these past two months, I completed two books projects. One is a book and study on the fear of the Lord. You can read a post inspired by it here. The other is a children’s book. You’ll hear more about that in coming months. I’m excited to see how the Lord will use both of these projects.

At my church, a few of us who are counselors started virtual support groups to help fellow church members think through and process all their emotions and uncertainties during this time. I’ve led one on lament and have found it mutually encouraging. I’ve loved digging back in to the Psalms and walking through the laments with my sisters in Christ.

I’m a wannabe creative and one day hope to learn to draw and paint. A group of ladies at my church meets each week to work on projects together. The past few weeks, I’ve joined in on their virtual calls to see what they’ve been creating. The only creative thing I’ve done during quarantine is a few black-out poems, which I shared with the group. I find these poems both challenging and relaxing at the same time and hope to do more of them.

Family Matters

I’ve enjoyed watching my kids navigate this strange and upside down in history. They’ve taken up working out together—strength training and running. We found an opportunity for them to train for a virtual marathon as well. They enjoy connecting with their friends via video conferencing and my youngest has set up a green screen to make fun backgrounds during his calls. They complain of boredom from time to time, but overall are doing better than I expected. It helps that they have plenty of school work to keep them busy.

Our family loves to laugh together and we’ve had plenty of time to do that these past two months. We’ve also played the board game, Pandemic, which I thought was a fitting game to play. It’s a bit complicated to learn, but I like that you play as a group. Each player works together to help stop the spread of viral outbreaks. One evening, we played some games virtually with another family via video conferencing. It was hilarious!

We’ve also been watching Tim Challies’ new video documentary series, Epic: An Around-the-World Journey through Christian History. We love history and have read many biographies of missionaries over the years. Tim’s journey around the world takes him to many of the places we’ve read about. It’s fascinating and a great activity to enjoy as a family. We’ve also been reading The Hiding Place together as a family. You can read some of my thoughts about it here.

So, that about sums up what I’ve been up to. How about you?

Note: This post contains Amazon affiliate links. To learn more about those links, click here.

Building a Theology of Suffering

Our national women’s ministry team is putting together the finishing touches on our upcoming annual Leadership Conference. This year’s conference theme is suffering. Our goal is to provide women the Biblical tools to understand their own suffering so that they can in turn minister to other women who suffer.

When it comes to suffering, we need a solid Biblical foundation on which to stand.

Our family lived in Florida for many years and whenever I took my boys to the beach, they would build a tower out of sand and create tunnels through that tower for water to run through. Then they’d wait for the tide to come back in and watch what happens.  At first, the water just flowed in and around the construction. But then the strong waves started to come in and their tower fell apart.

A Foundation of Sand

You may be familiar with the children’s praise song, "The Wise Man Built his House Upon a Rock," based on the passage in Matthew 7 where Jesus compares obeying his words to building on rock rather than sand. It makes sense: don't build a house on sand because it isn't stable. All it takes is one strong wave to knock down any construction.

But how often do we build our faith on sand? How often do we rest in teachings, beliefs, and even emotions that shift as easily as the sand with the rising tide? How often do we believe things about suffering that aren’t based on Scripture?

Our faith needs to stand on something more real and solid than what we wish and desire to happen. It needs to rest on something more constant than the latest fads of culture. It needs to to grounded in something firmer than false teachings that promise what can’t be delivered.  

It needs to stand on the word of God.

When it comes to suffering, if we build our theology on anything other than God’s word, when the inevitable storms of life roll over us, we’ll sink beneath its waves. Too many believe false doctrines such as “God doesn’t want us to suffer. We just need to believe, claim promises, and expect God to change our circumstances.” Or “Your suffering is punishment for something you’ve done. Repent of that sin and it will go away.” Or “You just need to try harder and work harder.”

Because what happens when we do those things and the suffering doesn’t go away? No matter how much we pray and read the Bible, the depression looms large. Or no matter how many promises we claim, the cancer resists treatment. Or our prodigal still defies Christ. Or we lose the house to bankruptcy.

What do we do then?

Build on God’s Word

If you’ve ever read the book of Job, you know that suffering doesn’t follow some kind of “if then” formula. After Job lost everything, including each of his children, his friends assumed that he must have done something wrong to warrant punishment. They spent many chapters trying to get him to fess up to what he had done. Job’s friends lived in a world that believed if you do the right thing, you’ll be blessed; if you do the wrong thing, you’ll be punished. But we know from the introduction to the book of Job that he was a righteous and faithful man. His suffering had nothing to do with punishment for sin. His was innocent suffering.

The Bible teaches us to expect suffering (1 Peter 4:12). It is part of life in a fallen world. And for believers, suffering is inherent to our union with Christ. (Romans 8:17, Colossians 1:24, 2 Corinthians 1:5).

The Bible also teaches us that the suffering we experience can serve multiple purposes. God might use it for our discipline (Heb. 12:7). It serves to bring God glory (John 9:3). It is used to make us holy (Romans 5:4-6). Suffering often pushes us to rely and depend upon God rather than ourselves (2 Corinthians 12:9). Sometimes, we never know the exact purpose for our sufferings (Job never knew that back story we all know). But it is always used for our good (Romans 8:28).

The truth is, we might never see an end to our suffering in this life. Suffering may be in our story until the final page. But even in that suffering, we have hope and peace.

As Jesus said, "I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world” (John 16:33). Our peace comes not because our life is problem free but because we are united with Christ. In fact, he doesn't promise a tear-free life. He doesn't say that if we follow him, life will be smooth sailing and all our dreams will come true. Rather, he says we will face heartache in this world. But he also calls us to look at the big picture: He has overcome the world. Christ has faced the worst suffering for us—sin and death—and overcome it. He redeemed us. He is our salvation. We are his and he is ours. And because of him, we have hope forever in eternity.

For some of us, we will live a life of suffering. We may always struggle with chronic pain, grief, or struggle to make ends meet. We may never be free of sorrow or conflict or struggle. If we face that suffering while standing on sand, we will be pulled under. Instead, we need to stand on solid ground. We need to understand our suffering in light of what God’s word teaches. And we need to keep our gazed fixed on the One who first suffered for us so that one day, our suffering will be no more.

Leading Like Christ

I have bins in my garage filled with mementos of my childhood. I think my mother saved every drawing, school assignment, and project. Worn Lisa Frank stickers cover binders and notebooks. Random movie stubs are buried there along with a Troll doll and my poor attempts at drawing unicorns.

My report cards are there as well, and at the bottom of each one, a teacher wrote, “she is too quiet and shy.”

Every. Single. One.

I grew up thinking of myself as a last row, back of the class kind of girl. The one who listens and soaks everything in, but has little to say. The one who helps and fills vacancies and works behind the scenes. Definitely not a leader. So much so, I’ve even argued with mentors over that fact.

To me, leaders were talkative and always had people listening to what they had to say. They told others what to do. They were assertive and loud. They pointed out problems and came up with solutions to those problems. They always knew what to say and what to do.

In adulthood, I’ve come to see that leadership is far different than my childhood perspective. A leader isn’t only those who run for student council. Leadership isn’t about a position of power and authority. A leader isn’t about being loud and in charge.

The Bible shows us that a leader is a servant. It is someone who wants to reflect her Savior and desires that others do the same. She seeks to walk alongside others and show them Jesus. She doesn’t care about having a particular position, being known, or having followers. She wants to serve as Jesus served her.

I’ve been thinking about leadership in recent months as our team plans our annual women’s ministry leadership conference based on a book written by two mentors of mine, Life-Giving Leadership.

The authors point out that one characteristic of a life-giving leader is the importance of dying to self. “We must die to live and we must die to lead. Death is painful and scary, but death is necessary for life—His life—to be formed in us. Life-giving leaders know they are nothing more than a tiny grain of wheat, called to a unique place of dirt where they are to die” (p. 21).

I’ve been focusing on this passage as I prepare for the leadership conference, considering what places in my life need to die in order for new life to grow:

“Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. Whoever loves his life loses it, and whoever hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. If anyone serves me, he must follow me; and where I am, there will my servant be also. If anyone serves me, the Father will honor him” (John 12:24-26).

Our Savior walked the path of life-giving leadership before us and calls us to follow in his steps. He set aside the glories of heaven to take on human flesh. He walked and lived among us in this broken and sinful world. He dined with outcasts and healed the forgotten. Though perfect and holy in every way, he lowered himself to wash his disciple’s feet. He taught and discipled and shepherded the lost. He was compassionate, gentle, and forbearing. While everyone expected him overthrow the powerful Roman government, he overthrew the power of sin instead. The One who was there at creation, who owns all things, was crucified outside the city gates as a common criminal. His death brought life to all who believe.

I’m thankful that leadership is more than what I thought it was as a child. Even more, I’m thankful for mentors who encourage and equip me in my own leadership, who set Christ-like examples for me. And I’m thankful for the Spirit who uses this ordinary cracked vessel to display his glory, in spite of my weaknesses. He enables me to do things I never thought I was capable of. To him be the glory!

You Can't Do Ministry Alone

My husband and I spent the last decade at our church wearing many hats. We filled whatever hole was vacant. We served, taught, led, shared, and gave all that we had to give. We have since moved away and now attend a new church. And now that we are in a new place, we realize we are tired. Exhausted. Empty and spent. Burned out.

Burnout is a common problem in ministry. One of the reasons for burnout is the tendency to try to do it all. We overbook, overcommit, and overtax ourselves. We fail to rest our bodies, our minds, and our souls. We try to function while on empty and push ourselves to the point where we can no longer function.

To read the rest of this post, visit Revive Our Hearts.