Vanity Under the Sun

“Vanity of vanities, says the Preacher, vanity of vanities! All is vanity” (Ecc. 1:2).

I’ve been reading Ecclesiastes in my quiet time. Every time I read through the book, it feels like someone turned on the light in the dark recesses of my life, pointing out things I hadn’t noticed before. It would be like if a gemologist were to look up close at my wedding ring and point out that it doesn’t really have diamonds in it after all. I’d then look at it with new eyes and notice its flaws. What once was shiny would quickly lose its luster. I’d realize that what I once thought was valuable, had no value at all. This is what the teacher does in Ecclesiastes; he shows us the vanity of life under the sun.

Throughout the book of Ecclesiastes, the teacher shares insight into his own life experiences. He has pursued everything there is to pursue in life. He’s tried it all. He’s accumulated it all. He’s witnessed it all. And he’s found little to write home about. He sums it up as meaningless or vanity. The Hebrew word used for “vanity” in Ecclesiastes 1:2 is hebel. It means vapor or breath. It’s a word that describes the transitory nature of things. It’s like a breath that is breathed out and immediately dissipates in the air. Hebel describes things that have no form or structure, they are empty; they cannot contain anything.

The teacher uses this word throughout the book to describe life “under the sun.” That is, life from our earthly, finite perspective. The teacher observes that people work hard, they pursue and enjoy the pleasures of this life, and then they die. All that they have worked for is then passed on to someone else who won’t appreciate it or will likely lose or waste it. All the pursuits and pleasures of life, once experienced, are gone. The things we put our time and energy into all too soon fade away. They lose their luster. They show themselves worthless.

Vapor. Breath. Meaningless.

I can’t help but think of the early church father, Augustine. He pursued the pleasures and vanities of this life. He looked for meaning and purpose in things, relationships, knowledge, and experience, but found them fleeting. He wrote in his work, Confessions, about his life, “For it was my sin, that not in Him, but in His creatures—myself and others—I sought for pleasures, sublimities, truths, and so fell headlong into sorrows, confusions, errors.” He even tried various religions and philosophies, thinking they would help him find what he was looking for, but he still felt restless and lost. It wasn’t until he read the Bible and was converted to Christ that his restlessness finally stilled. He wrote, “Thou madest us for Thyself, and our heart is restless, until it repose {rest} in Thee.” When Augustine found Christ, he found what his heart longed for all along.

It isn’t until we see things from a different perspective, from “above the sun” rather than “under the sun,” that things change. It’s when we see the world in light of eternity that we see what truly matters—what truly satisfies. Then we see that the pleasures we’ve labored so hard to achieve are really like playing in the mud when we could enjoy a trip to the sea. As C.S. Lewis describes, “It would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.” The truth is, the little joys of life exist to point us to the greatest Joy. We’ve wasted precious time dancing with shadows when we could have experienced Life itself.

Ecclesiastes reminds my heart how easily I confuse the shadows for the substance. It reminds me that when I focus my life and heart on things “under the sun” and forget about the One who rules “above the sun” I am only grasping at vapor, with what is fleeting and temporary. The teacher reminds me that life is meant for something greater, for Someone greater. That real life—real fulfilling, lasting, meaningful, glorious life—is found only in the One who created it.

The teacher ends his book with this conclusion: “Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man” (Ecc. 12:13). We don’t know much about what is above the sun other than that God rules over the universe. We don’t know much about eternity past, other than that God has always been there. We don’t know what will occur in eternity future, just that it is in God’s hands. In the span of time, we are but vapor; our lives are merely a breath. The conclusion then is this, to live our lives in the fear of the One who knows all things. To live for his glory and praise. To live for and pursue that which is lasting, that which is eternal, that which is of substance.

And that’s where real Joy resides, not in the shadow, but in the substance.

On Proverbs 31 and the Bride of Christ

What is your initial response when someone teaches or preaches on the famed passage in Proverbs 31? You know, the passage about the woman who works hard, loves her family, and laughs at the future. Are you quick to grab a notebook so you can take notes, hoping to learn how you can be more like her? Or do you perhaps roll your eyes and think, "Here we go again?" Or do you cringe and feel pangs of guilt knowing you are going to fall short of whatever is taught?

I once was asked to speak on this famous chapter and I have to admit, my initial response was hesitation. I remember thinking, “Surely, there’s another passage I could speak on?” And my response made me stop and consider why I felt that way. Maybe it’s because so many women’s ministries are centered around this passage. Or perhaps it’s because Proverbs 31 is treated as one of the “pink passages” in Scripture (as Hannah Anderson would say)—as though the Bible has nothing to say to women anywhere else. Or maybe my heart resists such lists because I know I could never measure up.

But upon further study, I believe there is more hope in this chapter than we think. In fact, I think the final chapter in the book of Proverbs has a lot less to do with us and what we do or don't do, and lot more about what God has done, is doing, and will do in us.

The Context of Proverbs 31

We often open the book of Proverbs and read it as a list of promises. We read words such as "Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it" (Proverbs 22:6) and "The plans of the diligent lead surely to abundance, but everyone who is hasty comes only to poverty" (Proverbs 21:5) and think they are conditional promises, telling us that if we do those things, we will be happy, successful, and have all we've ever wanted.

Yet Proverbs is part of a genre in Scripture called wisdom literature. It is more descriptive rather than prescriptive. It describes things that tend to happen. Much of the time, if we work hard, we will find success. Generally, if you teach a child the right thing to do, they will continue to do the right thing. But it's not a promise. We all know people that no matter how hard they work, they never seem to get ahead in life. We also know people who never worked a day in their life, yet they live in the lap of luxury. And we also know of godly, faithful parents whose children are prodigals.

When it comes to the chapter in question, Proverbs 31 was written by a mother to her son, advising him on what to look for in a wife. It was a list of ideals. It describes a woman who is industrious, works hard, helps her husband, and serves her family. She doesn't depend on her own strength but lives in the fear of the Lord and can therefore laugh at the future to come. This list stands in stark contrast to the description of the adulterous woman in Proverbs 7. It's a good list. Indeed, we should all want and desire to be industrious, loving to our husbands, serving our family, and fearing the Lord.

But dear friends, here's the truth: The Proverbs 31 woman was not a real person. She didn't exist.

But one day, she will.

Jesus and Proverbs 31

All of Scripture is about Jesus and the book of Proverbs is no exception. Jesus himself said, "These are my words that I spoke to you while I was still with you, that everything written about me in the Law of Moses and the Prophets and the Psalms must be fulfilled” (Luke 24:44). Jesus is wisdom incarnate. He is the book of Proverbs wrapped in flesh; he is the perfect fulfillment of all that Proverbs teaches us. He is the only wise God, "in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge" (Colossians 2:3).

This Wisdom, Jesus, answers the question Proverbs 31 asks, "an excellent wife, who can find?" He has found her. He is making her. He is preparing a Bride, the church. As Ephesians tells us, "...Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish" (Ephesians 5:25-27).

If you tend to read Proverbs 31 and treat it like a to-do list, you may grow weary and tired and discouraged when you fail. If you look at Proverbs 31 and simply give up in hopelessness because you know you can never measure up, there is great hope for you. If you ignore the Proverbs 31 woman altogether because you've been compared to her for far too long, cringe no more.

Friends, Jesus has bought us and redeemed us. He has chosen us as his Bride. He has clothed us in a brilliant white gown of his own righteousness. He is right now making us new. He is shaping us and molding us into the Bride we were created to be. In this life, we'll see glimpses of her. We will see her industriousness, her love for her family, and her service to others as the Spirit works in us to refine, change, and transform us. But one day, the Bridegroom will return. That will be the day of the great Wedding Feast where we will be presented before the King as holy and blameless.

On that day, we will finally be the Bride described in Proverbs 31.

So read Proverbs 31 with joy, gratitude, and anticipation. Rejoice that your Bridegroom has answered the question, "an excellent wife, who can find?" For through Christ, she has been found in us, the Bride, the Church.

For the Mom Who Feels Pulled at the Start of a New School Year

This time of year stresses me out.

All the back to school stuff. The mandatory parent meetings. The long list of places that need parent volunteers. The steady stream of emails, documents to sign, handbooks to read. Doctor visits. Shopping…

I’m weary just from typing it all down.

The back to school season gets to that part of me that wants to be the mom who can do it all. And do it all well. I want to be that mom who juggles it all. I want to be the mom who shows up to everything, who coordinates all that needs coordinating, who has a job and title at each school, sport, and activity. I want to be the mom who perfectly meets everyone’s expectations (including mine!).

In years past, I’ve said yes to all the requests. I’ve attended every meeting. I checked every box. I quickly got overwhelmed and burdened. I started forgetting where I was supposed to be and when. Then I became the mom who signed up for cupcakes and forgot to bring them.

Yeah, that mom.

I wrote Sufficient Hope to remind moms, and myself, that the gospel is sufficient to give us hope in all of life. The truths of who Jesus is and what he came to do doesn’t just transform our lives in eternity, but it also transforms our life in the here and now. We can have real hope today because of Jesus Christ.

Since this is true, it must mean that the gospel has something to say to this crazy time of year. It must have something to say to moms who feel pulled in every direction, who struggle to juggle all the requests and meet all the expectations, who are weary and overwhelmed.

As I preach the gospel to my own heart at the start of a new school year, I am reminded that my identity is not wrapped up in how many volunteer roles I have. My worth and value is not found in the tasks I manage to accomplish each day. The measure of how I’m doing as a mom is not based on how well I juggle everyone’s schedule. My identity and worth is found in who Christ is for me. Jesus Christ lived the life I could not live, died the death I deserved, and rose in triumph from the grave. Through faith in him, I am united with him. God looks at me and sees all that Jesus has done for me.

The wonderful news about the gospel is that Jesus is for me all that I cannot be.

This means I don’t have to do certain things to find acceptance and affirmation from those around me. I don’t need the accolades of others. I don’t need to beef up my mom resume by committing to everything I’m asked to participate in. In fact, I can say “no” to things and rest secure. That’s because I am completely loved and accepted by my Maker. He sees me wrapped in the righteousness of Christ. I am his beloved.

The gospel also reminds me that Christ is wisdom incarnate. He is the source of all wisdom and knowledge (Colossians 2:3). When I am overwhelmed by all that the world demands of me, I can turn to him and seek his wisdom found in God’s Word. I can pray for wisdom and discernment to use my time in ways that glorify him. I can ask him to help me number my days so I can remember how fleeting life is (Psalm 90:12). Our life here is brief. Time is a non-renewal resource; we need to use it with wisdom.

Lastly, the gospel reminds me to find my rest in Christ. When I am overwhelmed after a crazy day, when the expectations are too great for me to meet, when my human limitations are maxed out, I find my spiritual rest in Christ. As I abide in him, through his word, prayer, and other means of grace, I am renewed and strengthened and enabled to spend my days and life for his glory.

Moms, this time of year can be crazy. It can be overwhelming at times. We may feel pulled in many directions. But we have hope. We have a Savior. We can rest in him.

Taming the Tongue

It’s amazing how a small thing can become a big thing.

A small spark can cause a huge fire. An invisible virus can make thousands sick. A slight turn of the rudder can take a ship off course. A dash of the wrong spice can ruin a recipe. And the tongue, though small, can destroy with just a word.

That’s what James teaches in James 3, “And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell” (vs. 6).

The Power of the Tongue

The tongue can be a sharp weapon. It can weaken, wound, and break a relationship. Unlike a real weapon, it lies hidden and strikes just when the victim least expects it. After repeated jabs over the course of time, a person is left defenseless and broken.

Much of the book of Proverbs talks about the power of the tongue (over a hundred times!). “There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing” (Proverbs 12:18). “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (Proverbs 15:1). “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits” (Proverbs 18:21)...to read the rest of this post, visit For the Family. 

A Prayer for When You Don't Know What to Do

If you read my post last week on seeking God's will in making decisions, you may remember that one of the steps to making a decision is to seek God in prayer. 

Perhaps you are in the midst of a difficult decision right now. If so, this prayer is for you.

Father in Heaven,

I come before you today with my mind swirling with different thoughts and feelings. I have a hard decision make and I just don't know what to do. I feel helpless and confused. I'm worried about the consequences to my decision. I worry about the impact my decision will have not only on myself but on others as well. To be honest, I fear making the wrong decision.

Your word tells me that if I seek after wisdom you will provide it. So I am seeking you, the source and fountain of wisdom. You've written everything you want me to know if the pages of your book, The Bible. I pray that as I read your word, it would shape my wants and desires and longings. I pray that it would impress on me what matters most to you. I pray that as I consider the decision before me, that I would remember what your word teaches about your sovereignty and control over all things. 

You know this problem before me. You know how it turns out. That's because you are the Alpha and the Omega. You know the end from the beginning. Nothing happens apart from your will and plan. Not only are you sovereign, but you are good. All your plans are holy, righteous, and good. I can trust that you know what is best for me. When I move forward with this decision, I know that it is your will and that you will use it for my good and your glory. 

Forgive me for getting caught up in wanting to know the future and how everything turns out. Forgive me for treating you like a "magic 8 ball." Forgive me for fearing the future and for waiting around in the hopes that the answer will be written on the wall. Help me to rest and trust in who you are. Help me to look to Jesus, knowing that if you gave of your own Son to save me from sin, how will you not also be with me in all the challenges and decisions of my life? There is nothing and no one that can separate me from you; I have nothing to fear.

You are my Rock, my Savior, and my Deliverer. Be with me as I move forward in this time of confusion and difficulty. Above all, may your will be done on earth, and in my life, as it is in heaven.

In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

God's Wisdom and Decision Making

Have you ever had to make an important decision and felt stuck as to what to do? Perhaps you stood at a crossroads with two paths before you and you didn't know which one to take. 

You may have asked yourself questions like: Do I take this job or that job? Sell the house or stay? Trust the doctor or get a second opinion? Serve in this ministry or another? Send our children to this or that school? Have our parent move in or find them alternative living arrangements? 

When my thyroid biopsy came back as inconclusive, the doctor recommended surgery. (You may remember me writing about that here). He said it was the only way to know for certain whether the growth was cancerous or not. He gave me numbers and statistics (none of which I understood) and said we could remove the growth or wait and see. But he recommended surgery. I had a decision to make. Do I have the surgery? Or do I test and retest and wait and see? Do I trust the numbers and statistics? Do I trust the doctor? 

I don't know about you, but when I have a decision to make, my mind is consumed with it. It vacillates back and forth between the options. It's all I can think about. I worry and fret and mull over it. I lie awake at night unable to sleep. I consider all the potential consequences to the choices. What I want most of all is for a clear answer to step up and knock me on the head. Because what I really fear is making the wrong choice. 

And so I wondered, what is God's will in this? What does he want me to do?

God's Will and Making Decisions

Theologians often refer to God's will in terms of his sovereign will and his preceptive (or revealed) will. God's sovereign will refers to the fact that he ordains all things. Everything is under his control, including every detail of our lives. Nothing can or will happen outside of his will. He is never surprised or taken off guard by what happens. Whatever choice we make, we can be sure it is God's will. "The lot is cast into the lap, but its every decision is from the LORD" (Proverbs 16:33). We don't know God's sovereign will. "The secret things belong to the LORD our God, but the things that are revealed belong to us and to our children forever, that we may do all the words of this law" (Deuteronomy 29:29). We don't know his plan for us for tomorrow, next week, or next year. His secret will is not for us to know. But, as believers, we can take great comfort in the doctrine of God's sovereignty. That's because not only is God sovereign, but he is also our good Father who loves us. He always does what is right and good for us. Whatever decisions we make, we can be assured that God will use it for our good and his glory (Romans 8:28-29). 

God's preceptive will is his revealed will in the Bible. This is the will that God wants us to know. Everything we need to know for living in this world is written in those pages. There's no missing information we have to seek out in mysterious unknown places. It's not hidden somewhere, like in a scavenger hunt, and we just have to find it. It's all there.

The Bible teaches us what is sinful and what is not. It tells us the purpose for our life: to glorify God. It tells us how to treat others, how to steward what he has provided, how to love our family, how to live and work and rest. Most of all, it shows us our greatest need—redemption from sin—and reveals our great Savior, whose life, death, and resurrection is sufficient to free us from sin and enable us to live in righteousness. God's Word also teaches us about the Spirit, who lives within us, producing fruit of holiness and helping us to daily put sin to death. Ultimately, God's will for our life is that we grow in holiness, that we become more like Christ. 

When we struggle with making a decision and ask, "What is God's will in this?" often we want to know what pleases him. What he desires from us. We want his direction. We want to know if he desires us to choose A over B or B over A. This is an area where we often get stuck when we have to make a decision. What we want is to know the future before it happens. This is an area of God's will we can't know and don't need to know. The Bible is concerned with the moral decisions we make. It teaches us the way of holiness. The decisions we make that are not about moral decisions—such as, should we move to this or that city—are ones we simply need to make using the wisdom God has produced in us. We need to trust his sovereign will and obey his preceptive will. And the specific plans he has for our lives, we need to leave in his hands.  

"Obsessing over the future is not how God wants us to live, because showing us the future is not God's way. His way is to speak to us in the Scriptures and transform us by the renewing of our minds. His way is not a crystal ball. His way is wisdom. We should stop looking for God to reveal the future to us and remove all risk from our lives. We should start looking to God—His character and His promises—and thereby have confidence to take risks for His name's sake." —Kevin DeYoung in Just Do Something: A Liberating Approach to Finding God's Will, p. 39.

Seeking God's Wisdom

So what should we do when we have to make a difficult decision? First, we need to know where wisdom is found. God's Word tells us that wisdom originates in him. He is the source and fountain of wisdom. John 1:14 tells us that God's Word became flesh and dwelt among us. Jesus is wisdom incarnate. Isaiah prophesied about him, "And the Spirit of the LORD shall rest upon him, the Spirit of wisdom and understanding, the Spirit of counsel and might, the Spirit of knowledge and the fear of the LORD." (Isaiah 11:2). Paul tells us that Christ is our wisdom, "And because of him you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, righteousness and sanctification and redemption" (1 Corinthians 1:30). He says something similar in Colossians 3:2 "Christ, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge." When we don't know what to do, when we fail to do the right thing, when we freeze in fear over making a decision, Christ intercedes for us through his perfect life lived for us and sacrificial death on our behalf. He also gave us his Spirit who is at work in us, helping us to desire wisdom, teaching us the way of wisdom through the Word, and enabling us to walk in it. 

So when we have a decision to make, we need to turn to God's Word. As we read and study, we can ask ourselves: Is this choice sinful? By choosing this, am I doing something God has told me not to do or failing to do something God has told me to do? Does it conflict with God's calling on my life? Another question to ask is, will this choice bring God glory? Will it honor him? We can also ask ourselves, what does the Bible tell me about Christ, who he is and what he has done? How can I apply these gospel truths to my decision making? We can be assured that as we study the Word, and as our minds are conformed to it, we will discern what God's will is, "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect" (Romans 12:2).

Secondly, we should always seek God in prayer about our decisions. We should ask for wisdom and discernment. We should ask that our choices and actions bring him glory. As Paul prayed for the Ephesians, we can pray for spiritual wisdom, seeking to know and understand the hope we have in the gospel, "the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and of revelation in the knowledge of him, having the eyes of your hearts enlightened, that you may know what is the hope to which he has called you, what are the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and what is the immeasurable greatness of his power toward us who believe, according to the working of his great might that he worked in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly places" (Ephesians 1:17-20). And, as Jesus taught us, we should pray that God's will would be done.  

Thirdly, we should ask others who are wise in the Word to advise us in making decisions. God has not left us alone, he's given us brothers and sisters in the Body of Christ who can give us the wisdom they have gleaned from Scripture. Many older and wiser believers have had to make difficult decisions in their lives and there is much we can learn from them (see also Titus 2). "Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed." (Proverbs 15:22).

I remember a college professor once talking to our class about choosing between A and B. In the example he gave, it was the choice between attending two colleges. He said that if a choice is not sinful, if we have prayed and sought God's Word for wisdom, as well as the wisdom of others, then we just make a choice. We simply move forward. Such a choice is not a moral one. (Unless of course, one choice is sinful or would keep us from glorifying God.) We make our decision and trust that God will use the decision for his glory and our good. We rest in his sovereign control over all things because we know that he is good and loves us. We remember the gospel and who we are in Christ, and know that nothing can separate us from God's love. 

In the end, I chose to have surgery. And I'm thankful to report that the growth was not cancerous. Though it wasn't an easy decision to make, the process of thinking and praying through the decision reminded me of my need for Christ, my dependence upon him, and his daily provision of grace for me. I rested in the truth of his sovereignty and that nothing would happen apart from his will for me.

I am certain that more difficult decisions loom on the horizon for me, as they do for all of us. But God has provided all we need for the journey and we can move forward in confidence, not in ourselves and our own wisdom, but in the wisdom of Christ, revealed to us in the Word.  

Note: I am a member of the Amazon Affiliates program and links to books in this post are connected to my affiliates account with Amazon.com.