Honest Prayer

Many years ago, I read C. S. Lewis’s work on prayer: Letters to Malcolm: Chiefly on Prayer. This unique book takes a look at the role of prayer in our lives and how it impacts our faith. One thing that stood out to me then and continues to shape my prayers to this day, is Lewis’s teaching that we ought to be honest with the Lord when we come to him in prayer.

At first glance, we might think that goes without saying. Of course, we are to be honest with the Lord. Why would anyone want to be dishonest when praying to the God of the universe? When it comes to honesty, I mean less about whether we are speaking truth or a lie, but more about being honest with who we are and what is in our hearts.

It’s tempting to want to put ourselves together when we come before the Lord in prayer, rather than come to him exactly as we are: tears streaming in grief, heart pounding in fear, shoulders drooped in exhaustion. Yet Lewis wrote, “we want to know not how we should pray if we were perfect but how we should pray being as we are now.” Where are we right now? What is happening in our life in this moment? What is weighing down our heart? What temptations are we battling? What is the state of our faith? These are the things we bring with us when we pray. We come to the Lord in vulnerability. In weakness. In brokenness. In need of grace. Lewis wrote: “We must lay before Him what is in us, not what ought to be in us.”

That’s what the psalmist does. He comes to the Lord exactly as he is. “Be gracious to me, O LORD, for I am languishing; heal me, O LORD, for my bones are troubled. My soul also is greatly troubled. But you, O LORD—how long?” (Ps. 6:2-3). The psalmist is not ashamed to express the true depths of his struggles. He describes his pain with vivid descriptions. He asks God all those questions our own hearts ask: Why? How long? When? He cries out to God expecting that he hears and that he will respond.

The Puritan preacher, John Bunyan, describes honest prayer this way: “Sincerity opens its heart to God and tells him the case plainly. True prayer feels, sighs, groans, and bubbles out of the heart as some heavy burden lies upon it or some sweet sense of mercy received is appreciated. O the heat, strength, life, vigour and affection that is in true prayer.”

God already knows the content of our hearts. As the psalmist wrote, “before a word is on my tongue, behold, O LORD, you know it altogether” (Ps. 139:4). He knows all the thoughts and intentions of our hearts. So there’s no need to pretend with God. We can be honest about the depths of our sin, sorrow, and suffering.

In my own prayer life, I often begin my prayers with something like “I come before you today with…” I then immediately voice the troubling thoughts I’ve had, or the painful emotions I feel, or the difficult circumstances I am going through—those things that are pressing on my heart that I need to get out in the open. Because until I express them to the Lord, my mind will not focus on other aspects of prayer. This level of honesty requires that I be honest with myself first. I have to be honest with the fact that I don’t have it all together. That I am needy. That I am dependent. That I need God’s rescuing grace. To the degree that I am honest with myself, the more I am honest with the Lord.

Bunyan wrote that “Prayer opens the heart of God and fills the empty soul. By prayer the Christian can open his heart to God as to a friend, and obtain fresh testimony of God’s friendship to him.” Do you know this kind of honest prayer?

Photo by Olivia Snow on Unsplash

Meditating on God's Word

“I will meditate on your precepts and fix my eyes on your ways” (Psalm 119:15).

Not too long out of college, I was working as a family counselor for a local non-for profit. During a staff meeting one week, my boss announced that one of the team members would lead us in a time of guided meditation. Though I had heard about the practice, I didn’t know what to expect. My co-worker began by instructing us to empty our minds. She continued on through various exercises to bring us to a place of relaxation so that we could encounter a place of peace in our minds. I soon found myself feeling uncomfortable with the exercise and instead spent the time in silent prayer. After the exercise was over, a few people shared their experiences—one shared how she had relived her birth into this world.

I share this story because sometimes when we come across a reference in Scripture about meditating on God’s word, as in the passage above, we might be confused, especially if we use the word “meditate” as other religions or philosophies might use it. The key difference is that biblical meditation isn’t about emptying the mind, but about focusing it on God and his word. It isn’t about seeking a higher form of consciousness in order to reach our inner divinity; rather, it is about communion with God through prayer and his word. It isn’t about seeking access to divine resources found within a person, but about accessing and feasting on the divine word of God—which is our very life (Deut. 32:47).

J.I. Packer once wrote in Knowing God, “Meditation is the activity of calling to mind, and thinking over, and dwelling on, and applying to oneself, the various things that one knows about the works and ways and purposes and promises of God. It is an activity of holy thought, consciously performed in the presence of God, under the eye of God, by the help of God, as a means of communication with God. Its purpose is to clear one’s mental and spiritual vision of God, and to let His truth make its full and proper impact on one’s mind and heart. It is a matter of talking to oneself about God and oneself; it is, indeed, often a matter of arguing with oneself, reasoning oneself out of moods of doubt and unbelief into a clear apprehension of God’s power and grace.” (p.23).

Psalm 119 is known as a psalm entirely devoted to God’s word. In every verse, the psalmist refers to God’s word in some way. In several passages, he talks about meditating on God’s word, as listed below. The psalmist uses the Hebrew word siach which is translated as our English word, meditate. It means to muse, complain, talk (of).

“I will meditate on your precepts and fix my eyes on your ways” (Psalm 119:15).

“Even though princes sit plotting against me, your servant will meditate on your statutes” (Psalm 119:23).

“Make me understand the way of your precepts, and I will meditate on your wondrous works” (Psalm 119:27).

“I will lift up my hands toward your commandments, which I love, and I will meditate on your statutes” (Psalm 119:48).

“Let the insolent be put to shame, because they have wronged me with falsehood; as for me, I will meditate on your precepts” (Psalm 119:78).

“My eyes are awake before the watches of the night, that I may meditate on your promise” (Psalm 119:148).

One could say that Psalm 119 is one long meditation on the word of God. In these verses above, we see the psalmist dwelling on God’s word. We see that it involves communication with God, for the psalmist asks God to teach him about his precepts. He is worshipful as he does so, lifting up his hands toward the heavens. Such meditation is not a passive event, for the psalmist is fixing his eyes on God and his ways. Even when he faces obstacles or challenges from his enemies, the psalmist turns to what he knows is true about God. If you were to do a word study on this Hebrew word for meditate, you’d find other passages where the writer even complains and moans to himself about God.

There’s another word used for meditate in the Bible, hagah. It means to moan, growl, utter, speak, muse. We find it in passages like, “his delight is in the law of the LORD, and on his law he meditates day and night” (Ps. 1:2) and “I remember the days of old; I meditate on all that you have done; I ponder the work of your hands” (Ps. 143:5). This form of meditation is more verbal, like thinking out loud—perhaps even like talking back to yourself.

For the Christian, meditation is an important spiritual practice. It is word centered and God exalting. It brings clarity to the confusion of life. It reorients our wandering hearts to the truth. It anchors us in chaos. Like the psalmist, may we ruminate, dwell, contemplate, ponder, muse, and talk to ourselves about God’s word “day and night.”

Celebrating the Launch of Tell God How You Feel

Launch day is almost here! Tell God How You Feel: Helping Kids with Hard Emotions officially releases on Friday!

This is my first children’s book and I’m excited to share it with you. Tell God How You Feel is a discipleship tool for parents to use to help their children learn to bring their emotions to the Lord in prayer. It helps children learn to identify and verbalize their emotions. It helps them learn that God cares about their emotions. It helps them learn to see God as their place of refuge in all the cares of life.

The book contains separate stories, each focusing on a specific emotion all children feel: fear, sadness, rejection, loneliness, and gratitude. The characters in each story learn about what God’s word says about these feelings. They learn about people in the Bible who felt those emotions. They learn how to tell God about their emotions and ask for his help. Each story contains discussion questions which help parents talk with their children about their feelings and about the God who loves and cares for them. If you are familiar with my book, A Heart Set Free: A Journey to Hope Through the Psalms of Lament, then you’ll recognize that this book is inspired by it. It plants a seed in the hearts of children, giving them a beginning understanding of what it looks like to lament to God all of their feelings.

We all have habits in how we respond to difficult emotions, many of which we developed as children. Some of us distract ourselves from what we are feeling. Others pretend we are feeling fine when in fact we are not. As a Weight Watcher’s commercial from a few years ago revealed, some eat in response to any emotion they feel—whether good or bad. Rather than develop unhealthy responses to emotions, my hope is that as children grow and mature, they will develop the spiritual habit of turning to the Psalms and using its prose to help them shape their own prayers and laments to the Lord.

Want to learn more about the book? You can view a sample here. It’s available for pre-order now and will officially release on Friday. Are you on social media? Be sure to visit my Facebook page and @christinarfox on Instagram this week to enter for opportunities to win a copy.

Christ Our Rock and Refuge

I’ve spent a lot of time in the Psalms these past couple of months. Primarily, because we are discussing the laments in the virtual support group I facilitate, but also because it’s what my own heart needs right now. I need the psalmist’s raw honesty to help me give voice to what’s going on in my own heart. I need to know I’m not alone in my feelings of loneliness, isolation, fear, disappointment, and sorrow. I need certainty in these uncertain times and the Psalms point me to what is true and unchanging.

As I thumb through the pages, there’s a repeated theme throughout the Psalms. Whether the psalmist is singing praise and thanksgiving or crying out in lament, there is oft repeated word or phrase he uses to describe who God is. The psalmist refers to God as his shelter and refuge. He describes God as a rock, a fortress, a stronghold.

“The LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold” (Psalm 18:2)

“For you are my rock and my fortress; and for your name’s sake you lead me and guide me” (Psalm 31:3)

“Be to me a rock of refuge, to which I may continually come; you have given the command to save me, for you are my rock and my fortress” (Psalm 71:3).

In practical terms, a rock is a place to hide behind. Its clefts and caves provide shelter from beasts and storms and enemies. A rock is also a foundation upon which we stand or build. It is solid and sure. Rocks are used to build walls and fortresses to protect those within. A massive rock, like a mountain, is immovable; It stands firm through the fiercest storms and battles.

So it’s no wonder the Lord is referred to as a rock. It’s one of his many names found in Scripture: “The Rock, his work is perfect, for all his ways are justice. A God of faithfulness and without iniquity, just and upright is he” (Deut. 32:4). Used figuratively, this name reminds us that we can run to God when we are afraid. We can seek safety and security in him. He is our dwelling place (Deut. 33:27). He is our protector and refuge from the ferocious storms of life. He is our savior and rescuer. And while all around us is chaos, our God is unchanging and constant. Steadfast. Strong. Sure. Faithful. Everlasting.

It’s also no surprise that Christ is referred to as a rock as well. Paul tells us in 1 Cor. 10, that Christ was Israel’s spiritual rock during their desert wanderings “For they drank from the spiritual Rock that followed them, and the Rock was Christ” (v.3). Christ is also referred to as the cornerstone of the church. Just as a building’s corner stone holds two walls together, Christ joins the church together (Ephesians 2:20). “Therefore thus says the Lord GOD, ’Behold, I am the one who has laid as a foundation in Zion, a stone, a tested stone, a precious cornerstone, of a sure foundation: ‘Whoever believes will not be in haste’” (Isaiah 28:16).

Christ is the fulfillment of all God’s promises to be our rock and fortress. He is our true shelter and dwelling place. He is the answer to the psalmist’s cry for salvation and deliverance. He rescued us from sin and death. He united himself to us through faith in his life, death, and resurrection. He made us his own. He is our place of safety. Our refuge. Our strength. Our fortress.

We don’t have to go far to seek refuge in Christ, for he’s made us his dwelling place. His Spirit lives within us. The same Spirit who raised Christ from the dead is the same Spirit who encourages our weary hearts, strengthens our faith, exhorts us when we sin, and transforms us more and more into the image of Christ. What an amazing thing to consider! When we need shelter and refuge, he is so near to us—just a prayer away!

This reminder has been such an encouragement to my heart during these uncertain times. Just dwelling on God as my rock settles my distracted mind. Knowing that Christ is my refuge and that he is always with me gives me hope. I pray it does for you as well.

Father in heaven, You are my rock. My shelter and place of safety. You are my firm foundation. You do not change. Nothing can move you. I thank you that in Christ, I am safe. He is my refuge and my fortress. Nothing and no one can snatch me from him. May these truths be my comfort and strength in these uncertain times. In Jesus’s name, amen.