Over recent weeks I’ve been stunned by the murders of Ahmaud Arbery and George Floyd. As I watched the footage on television, I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. My heart grieved for the families of these two men. Then, as I watched the protests on television, peaceful at first, then increasingly violent, I grieved for our nation. So much heartache. So much pain. And compounded over generations.
As I watch the news, read accounts, and observe responses, I want to help in some way. Yet, I feel a general sense of helplessness. There is a broad and systemic problem in our nation. The swath of injustice seems too big and too deep for one person to make an impact. What can I personally do to effect any kind of change? What can I—as a suburban stay at home mom—do to help?
Start at Home
It’s a lot to take in and I pray the Lord will provide opportunity and prompting as time moves forward, but one of the first things I realized I can personally do to stop the spread of hatred and injustice is to train my children well. Racial bias doesn’t come out of nowhere; it springs forth from the heart. As fallen sinners, we all have biases toward others. Every day, we make assumptions about the people around us based on how they look and talk, their age and stage, where they come from, what they do, even what they know or don’t know, and we treat them accordingly. And as is often the case, we encourage such biases in our children from an early age. They hear it in the things we say about other people. They see it in the way we act. They observe it in our priorities, in our relationships, in our responses. They then model what they see in us. Bias is passed from parent to child and forward through the generations.
As parents, we have the responsibility to not only point our children to what is right and true, but to also live it out in our own lives.
My husband and I have had some good discussions with our children about these recent tragedies. We’ve talked about what we witnessed and learned from our own families of origin regarding racism, bias, and injustice. We’ve talked about the biases we all have and the importance of identifying them and turning from them. We’ve even talked about the bubble my children grow up in and their lack of awareness of what life is like outside that bubble. We’ve shared the things we’ve learned from our African American friends— those personal stories which opened our eyes to see how their everyday life is so different from ours. The daily fears they face. The injustices they’ve experienced. The barriers. The assumptions. And so much more.
Training our Children
Training our children starts with the word of God and it starts at the beginning of the Bible. It starts with Genesis. We teach our children that God created all mankind in his image. Each person, whatever their nationality, skin color, economic background, life experience, etc., is created in the image of God. Every person has inherent value and worth because God created them. Whenever we mistreat another human being, we mar a fellow image bearer. Further, as we teach our children the gospel, we can’t neglect to teach them about the beautifully diverse family of God. As God covenanted with Abraham, all the nations of the world would be blessed through his seed and that promise is fulfilled in Jesus Christ. Through Christ, we are united as brothers and sisters with people from every tribe and nation. The book of Revelation speaks to what heaven will look like as all God’s children, scattered throughout the nations, are brought together before the throne of God, “After this I looked, and behold, a great multitude that no one could number, from every nation, from all tribes and peoples and languages, standing before the throne and before the Lamb, clothed in white robes, with palm branches in their hands, and crying out with a loud voice, “Salvation belongs to our God who sits on the throne, and to the Lamb!” (Revelation 7:9-10). What a beautiful thing that will be!
Because heaven will be filled with beautiful diversity, our lives ought to be as well. As much as possible, our children ought to see diversity in our lives, in our relationships, and in our experiences. Encourage friendships with people from other cultures and nationalities. Get to know people with different experiences and backgrounds. We often fear what we don’t know so encourage curiosity in your children. Teach them about different nations and cultures. Read books and stories about children in other places. Have them pray for different people groups. Find creative ways to get involved with people outside their usual circle. Visit a civil rights museum or study the history of a particular people group. When our children see that we love and cherish the diversity God has made, they will too.
Books to Read
Here are a few book suggestions, some for your children and others for your own heart:
God’s Very Good Idea by Trillia Newbell. This is an excellent children’s book about how God created us all different, yet we are all part of his family. I wrote about this book here.
Window on the World: An Operation World Prayer Resource: This book exposes children to the people groups of the world. It teaches them about their history, culture, and customs. It also helps children learn about the work God is doing in the nations and how they can pray for each people group.
United: Captured by God’s Vision for Diversity by Trillia Newbell. This eye opening book challenges us in the church to experience the joy of diversity, and even more, to seek it out.
The Beautiful Community: Unity, Diversity, and the Church at its Best by Irwyn Ince. This beautiful book paints a picture of the church as both diverse and united in Christ. It is both theologically robust and practical. When we pursue unity in our churches, we image our Triune God.
His Testimonies, My Heritage: This is a devotional, written by women of color, expounding on Psalm 119.
Perhaps you too feel helpless as you watch the news or scroll through social media. You may wonder what impact you can make in bringing healing and reconciliation to our nation. If you are looking for somewhere to start, start at home. Teach your children to love the beautifully diverse people he has made.
