Sufficient in our Insufficiency

I have a confession. I don't like weakness. I don't like feeling helpless. I don't like not knowing how to do something. I don't like feeling incapable. I don't like being insufficient.

To make matters worse, there are many areas of my life where I find myself feeling weak, helpless, and incapable: motherhood, homeschooling, ministry, marriage, and friendship.  I have several new projects and ministry opportunities I am working on this year and while I am excited about each of them, I am also overwhelmed by my insufficiency. I lack wisdom, strength, and experience. 

And while I'm being honest, I might as well admit that I feel most weak, incapable, and insufficient about my first book coming out this spring. Sometimes, I'm downright terrified about it. You may think it strange to be terrified about such an exciting event. Many writers compare writing a book to having a child and that's how I feel--excited but also terrified. 

Have you ever been in a place where you simply don't know what to do? Or feel inadequate? Perhaps you've been given a great responsibility and you know you don't have it in you to accomplish it. The task looms large and impossible before you. Failure seems certain.  

If you are in a similar place as I, where you feel the depths of your insufficiency, the gospel speaks right to our problem. It reminds us that yes, we are insufficient, but Christ was sufficient for us when he lived a perfect life in our place. It reminds us that he took the wrath of God that we deserved when he bore all our sins on the cross. Through faith in Christ, God looks at us and doesn't see our insufficiency. He sees Christ's sufficiency instead. So we are sufficient in our insufficiency because Christ was sufficient for us.

But that's not the end of the good news. God is at work, even now, making us increasingly sufficient and capable. He is working in us, through all our weaknesses, and making us useful for his Kingdom purposes. God did not save us because we were sufficient on our own and he doesn't use us because we are already capable.  

Unlike applying for a job where you have to present the necessary skills and experience to get the job, with God, he doesn't use people who are already experienced and capable. Moses was not a natural born leader. David was the youngest of all his brothers. Mary was not the natural choice to mother a King. Uneducated Peter was an unlikely candidate to start the church. But in God's unexpected and upside down Kingdom, he uses the weak and helpless and makes them capable and sufficient. As God works in us, people don't see our strength and wisdom but the strength and wisdom of God through us. And God gets the glory. 

The wonder of God's grace is that we have everything we need to do what God has called us to. "His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence, by which he has granted to us his precious and very great promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped from the corruption that is in the world because of sinful desire" (2 Peter 1:3-4). "But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me" (2 Corinthians 12:9). This means that when God calls us to a task, he gives us everything we need to accomplish it through Christ. 

So being in a place where we feel insufficient, incapable, and weak is exactly where we need to be. We don't have to fear being there. We don't have to fear not knowing what to do because we have everything we need in Christ. He is our sufficiency both in our salvation and in our sanctification. And he has promised to finish the work he started in us (Philippians 1:6, 1 Corinthians 1:8). 

In my own life, as I consider the tasks before me, I don't have to despair over my weaknesses. I don't have to worry about completing the tasks God has given me. Instead, I can rest knowing that Christ is sufficient for me. Like Paul, I can even boast in my weakness, knowing that God will get the glory. Whatever God calls me to this year, he will make me capable. Through Christ, I am sufficient in my insufficiency.

And so are you.  

From the Ashes

This past summer we went hiking in northern California. The pine trees were as tall as a city building. We stood like tiny ants beside ancient trunks which have reigned over the forest for hundreds of years. I couldn't help but imagine what it would be like to be standing in those woods on the Last Day. The words of Psalm 96:12 were on my mind as we hiked, "Let the field exult, and everything in it! Then shall all the trees of the forest sing for joy before the LORD, for he comes, for he comes to judge the earth."

During our trek along the trails, I noticed the charred remains of trees interspersed among the Giant Sequoias. We learned from a guide that there are some pine trees that can only reproduce through fire. Their cones only open to scatter their seeds from the heat of a forest fire. They need what would normally be a terrible thing, fire, in order to produce new life. If there hasn't been a natural fire, sometimes the park service will start a controlled fire so that the pines will scatter their seeds.

This irony in the natural world is also at work in our lives as well. The upside down story of Christianity is that life comes from death; ours from Christ's. And as his adopted children, we are called to die to ourselves so that we might live for him.

"Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it." (Matthew 16:24-25).

"He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness." (1 Peter 2:24).

"Count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus." (Romans 6:11).

To grow in faith and bear fruit as a believer, we need to walk through the refiner's fire. We need to be stripped of our sin. We need all those things that keep us from living for Christ removed. We need to then be molded and reshaped into the image and likeness of Christ.

Paul describes in Colossians 3 the things that must die in us: "Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. On account of these the wrath of God is coming. In these you too once walked, when you were living in them. But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth. Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator" (vs. 5-10).

As these things die, new life emerges from the ashes. Paul continues, "Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful." (Colossians 3:12-15).

Paul Tripp writes in New Morning Mercies: A Daily Gospel Devotional:

"In asking you to die, Jesus is giving you eternal life the only way it can be given. He has to call you to die because you are in the way of you having life. It is our pride, our rebellion, our independence, our foolishness, and our denial that stand in the way of his offer of life. We tell ourselves that we are okay. We act as if we're smarter than God. We like our little kingdoms more than we love his. We think our rules are better than his. We tell ourselves that present pleasure is better than eternal gain. If someone doesn't rescue us from our delusions about our lives, we will lose our lives. Yes, we must die if we are ever going to live. So grace is out to kill us. But in presiding over our deaths, grace gives us life--real, abundant, and eternal  life. Don't fight the death of your old life; instead, celebrate the new life that is yours by grace and grace alone. And remember that your Savior will continue to call you to die; it is the way of life." (October 19th meditation)

Death seems like the end of things. But like the Giant Sequoia, the death of our old life paves the way for new life. A resurrected life. A fruit bearing life. A life that reflects the One who died and rose again for us. 

Have you seen new life rise from the death of your old life?

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When Discontentment Steals Our Joy

Crunch. The sound of my shoes echoed with each step. The trail before me was layered with fallen leaves. It was as though the trees had disrobed and blanketed the forest floor with their golden hued cloaks. Even as I walked, leaves continued to rain down around me. 

The mountains are where I feel most alive. I especially love hiking in the fall when the air is crisp and cool. I am always struck by God's handiwork this time of year, where the trees are dressed in shades of red, gold, orange, and brown. Seeing his glory in the creation awakens my dull senses. Even the scientific facts behind the tree's annual disrobing strikes me with wonder. Their autumnal transformation is the revealing of their true colors. No longer producing food, the trees lose their verdant hue, uncovering the deep reds, bright yellows, and rustic orange shades that we all love so much to see.

A Discontented Heart

I always thought I would live in the mountains but instead I live by the sea. The disparity between the longings of my heart, of being where I feel most alive, and the place God has put me these past twenty years is wide. Over the years, my discontentment has grown and spread, breeding bitterness, selfishness, and anger. For my heart, discontentment has been like a slow leak, gradually draining me of joy and peace.

In the face of such discontentment, some would say, "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade" or "Bloom where you are planted." These proverbial statements are spoken to encourage us to make the best of what we have. It seems like helpful advice, but it doesn't get at the source of true contentment. We can't just resolve to be content or "think happy thoughts" to dispel unhappy ones. Rather our contentment must be built on something more solid, more sure, and more lasting. Because the truth is, we are weak. Our resolve fades. The sin in our hearts leads us astray until we are right back where we started.

The Apostle Paul spoke about contentment in Philippians. "I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength" (Philippians 4:11-13). For Paul, Christ was the source of his contentment. He knew that to live was Christ and to die was gain (Philippians 1:21).

The truths of the gospel, of who he was because of Christ's perfect life, sacrificial death, and resurrection, were the foundation on which Paul stood. He knew that whether he lived with plenty or didn't know where his next meal came from, he was secure in Christ. Because the Spirit of Christ lived in him, he had all he needed. In every situation, the Spirit strengthened him to face trials and tribulations. His security, joy, purpose, and satisfaction was in Christ, not in his circumstances. This is the secret to contentment--not cold glasses of lemonade or blooming flowers or happy thoughts.

My discontentment comes from the same place as the grumbling desert-wandering Israelites. My heart has turned away from its true love. I've attempted to fulfill my soul-thirst with something other than the pure living water that Christ died to give me. I'm focused on the comforts and cares of this life and not the one to come. I've failed to remember all that God did to deliver me from slavery and instead of living a life of gratitude, my heart only grumbles and complains.

Real and Lasting Contentment

The Spirit is gracious and reminds me of the way to true and lasting contentment. Psalm 37:4 says "Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart." When Christ is my delight and my source of joy, it changes the trajectory of my heart. What Christ wants, I want. Instead of looking at what I don't have, my heart rejoices in all that I do have because of and through him. Love and gratitude transforms my desires so that they revolve around Christ and what pleases him. And like, Paul, no matter the circumstances, my well of contentment is deep and overflowing, for it flows freely from its source in Christ himself.

God places us in circumstances and situations that we often don't understand. Sometimes he doesn't give us what we want because he knows what we really need is not a change in situation but more of him. The more we grow to depend and trust in him, the more we find our joy in knowing him, and the more we seek him above all else, the more we will appreciate the manna he provides. Our grumbles fade in his presence. Rather than complain about the challenges of life, we'll look to Christ for contentment, security, and peace. All our desert wanderings will create in us a longing not for the slavery of the past but the glory of forever rest found in the Promised Land to come.

As I consider the beauty of the trees in autumn, how they are at their most beautiful right before they enter a season of dying, my heart longs to bring my Creator glory in how I live--no matter the season. When seasons of winter lie before me, I want to reflect the radiance of Christ. Like the trees in fall, I want to live out my calling in submissive and joyful obedience. I want to find my contentment in being a redeemed daughter of the King, not in my circumstances, dreams, or plans. 

Will I ever move to the mountains? I don't know. But I do know that not being where I long to be is a reminder of how this world is not my home. My true, forever home still awaits. And as long as Christ remains the joy and treasure of my heart, I will be content wherever I am because he is with me.

40 Things I've Learned in 40 Years

This week marks an important point in my life. I turn 40. It's a milestone, a sign post marking midlife. It means I am half way through this race of faith. As I reflect on the decades that are behind me, I wanted to share a few things I've learned along the way. 

1. Weakness is okay: When we are young, we feel compelled to convince people that we can do things on our own, that we are capable. One of the first complete sentences my kids spoke was "I do it!" When we leave home, we are ready to conquer the world. At some point though, we learn that we aren't as capable or as wise as we thought. Coming to the point where we admit and recognize that we are weak is a mark of growth and maturity. And perhaps a bit of fatigue that comes with getting older.

2. God's grace is sufficient: Though we are weak, God's grace is sufficient. I've learned that God always meets me where I am and makes me capable to do what he has called me to do. This is why weakness is okay because God calls us to abide in him and trust him alone to provide what we lack.

3. Time flies: Time goes by at a snails pace when we are young and speeds up as we age. Or so it seems. If you've not experienced this, you are still too young yet:)

4. Mercy is new each day: God's mercy is new every day and I am so thankful because I need it!

5. Community is necessary: This goes back to realizing that we are weak. In acknowledging our weakness, we also realize that we need the Body of Christ to help us. This is one of the ways God provides what we lack, through our brothers and sisters in faith.

6. Seasons of desert wanderings are necessary: We all have seasons in our life where we feel like nomadic wanderers heading in no particular direction. Such dry seasons are necessary for they bring us to our knees where we cry out for the ever present mercy of God. And he gladly supplies it.

7. Diversity is beautiful: When we are young, we think everyone should be like us. As we age we begin to see the beauty of diversity and difference. God created a beautifully diverse world filled with beautifully diverse people. We need to celebrate that more.

8. Change is inevitable: As much as we fight against it, change happens. Like the passage of time, all things change. We love to serve the god of comfort and ease so when change happens we are thrown and feel like the wind has been knocked out of us. Instead we need to expect change and even be prepared for it. 

9. The Bible never gets old: No matter how many times I read the same passage, chapter, or book of the Bible, there is always something new to be learned or something I've forgotten that I need to be reminded of.

10. The things that seem so big as a child grow smaller with age: Yes? Don't you think?

11. Not everything has to make sense: I used to think that I needed to have an answer to everything. I guess having children broke me of that. But I don't have to understand everything. I'm thankful God does.

12. Breakfast for dinner is always a good idea: Pancakes. Waffles. Omelettes. Enough said. 

13. Minivans aren't so bad: Still not my favorite, but they grown on you. And if you needed to, you could seriously live out of one.

14. If you don't bring a jacket you will get cold; likewise, if you don't bring an umbrella it will rain: This is one of the major rules I live by in Florida. It may not apply everywhere.

15. Comparison breeds discontentment: There is always someone who will have something you don't have but you would like. The more we dwell on what others have, the more discontented we are with what we have. I've had to learn the hard way to not compare myself with others. But there is freedom found in keeping our eyes fixed on Christ and not on others around us.

16. There is always something to be thankful for: This ties in to what I said above. God is rich in mercy and grace and lavishes it generously upon us. We'll never run out of things to thank him for.

17. God is not surprised by anything: This is one of my life phrases. It keeps me anchored when the world is crazy. Because God is not surprised and because he is in control of all things, there is no need to fear.

18. There are many offenses which can be overlooked: In marriage, in parenting, in friendship, in work, there are many little things we make a big deal out of that we shouldn't. Not everyone will put the toilet paper roll on the correct way. We just have to get over it.

19. People will never respond to emails as quickly as you expect: You know who you are. This irks me but it's a fact of life.

20. The older you get, the less you know: I realize more and more how little I know about anything. Oh I know plenty of facts. But life has taught me that I do not know everything. Life is humbling that way. But I am thankful that I don't have to know everything because God is King and he reigns with perfect wisdom, knowledge, and insight.

21. The older you get, the more of a sinner you realize that you are: This is connected to number 20. In the upside down kingdom, the more you grow in holiness, the more you realize how much of a sinner you really are. It's not that you sin more, it's that more of your sinfulness becomes apparent. Unlike what happens with our eyes as we age physically (I got my first pair of glasses this year!), as we mature spiritually, our vision becomes clearer and we see better who we truly are and how much we desperately need God's grace.

22. You need to stretch your spiritual muscles or they will grow flabby: Laziness is far easier than being active and pursuing health and growth. We need to stretch ourselves spiritually. We need to study books of the Bible we've barely glanced at before. We need to memorize longer passages. We need to grow deeper in our knowledge of who God is. We are in a war and need to be prepared for it and we'll only be prepared if we are spiritually fit.

23. Friendship as an adult is always better: Sure friendships were fun as kids but friendships as adults are much richer and deeper. 

24. Coffee just isn't as good if it's not in a French Press: Don't believe me? Try it. There's no turning back.

25. Rejection is painful but survivable: I've lost track of the number of times I've been rejected for one reason or another. Some were less painful than others but they all hurt. But there are lessons learned through those rejections. And those times of rejection have only helped me understand Christ's rejection for me.

26. The best books are those you read over and over:  If you are a reader, you know what I mean.

27. A digital book will never be the same as a real one: I do love the convenience of a digital book but there's nothing like the feel of a real book. 

28. So much time is wasted on things that just don't matter:  Life is short and too often is spent pursuing after and worrying about things that don't matter in the end. I don't want to live with regrets. I've wasted too much time already. You too? Let's seek to glorify God in what we do with our time that remains.

29. The era of a good romantic comedy has passed: Seriously. Whatever happened to movies like Sweet Home Alabama and the like?

30. Bible memorization is more important than we realize: It seems laborious and time consuming and often too hard for my weary brain but sometimes it's the only ammunition we have against the enemy. How can we not store God's word in our heart?

31. Jesus is the only way to the Father: As much as the world wishes otherwise, there are not multiple ways to God. There is only one way and it's the narrow way. 

32. Hope is a Person: Hope is not a wish. It's not good thoughts or crossed fingers. Hope is real and it is only found in Christ.

33. It's a good thing to ask for help. Back to my thoughts about weakness. I guess it's a theme of my life. :When we admit that we are weak, we can then ask for help. And often, there is someone waiting and ready to provide that help.

34.  Theology is the solid ground we stand on when everything is changing and shifting around us: Knowing theology is a must for the believer. There's no way around it. Our hearts must be saturated with the truth of who God is and what he has done. Otherwise, we will most certainly fall when the thoughts and beliefs of the world shift around us. When storms of life crash upon us, only knowing the truth will keep us from drowning.

35. We are prone to wander: My heart is idolatrous. I am prone to seek after false loves. I put my hope in things that don't last and have no power to save me. This is a lifetime battle because just when I've discovered one idol in my heart and remove it, another pops up in its place. I am so thankful for God's grace which always leads me back home, no matter how far and how often I've wandered.

36. Grief and loss keep us from getting too comfortable with this world and make us long for our eternal home: This is a hard lesson I keep having to relearn and one I am going through right now. 

37. Prayer is too often neglected: Prayer should be the first thing we do. In any situation. It's how we commune and speak with God. It's one of the methods God uses to carry out his will. It's one of the ways we worship, honor, and glorify him. It's how we give him our burdens. I could go on. Martin Luther was right when he said, 'I have so much to do that I shall spend the first three hours in prayer.'

38. Waiting, though hard, can bear fruit in our lives: The process of waiting for anything is often painful. But Scripture tells us that waiting on the Lord is a good thing. I think that is because God works during that season of waiting to refine us. In waiting, many lessons are learned, sins and idols are revealed, and our need for Christ is made all the more evident. 

39. We need the gospel every day: The gospel is not just for the moment of salvation, it is a reality that we need each and every moment of the day. We need frequent reminders of what Christ has done for us at the cross. Throughout our lives, we need to turn to the cross in repentance when we sin and be reminded again of the forgiveness and grace Christ purchased for us there. We need the gospel to remind us that we've been made new and we are not who we once were. We need the gospel to point us to the day that is coming when all things will be redeemed. In truth, the gospel is something we never outgrow. 

40. And the plural of fox is foxes: I guess this is only important if your last name also ends in "x."

How about you? If you looked back on the decades of your life, what lessons have you learned?

I Hate the Fall

In our house, I discourage my children from using the word "hate." I don’t want to hear “I hate green beans” or “I hate emptying the dishwasher” or “I hate Spelling.” I tell them that it is a serious and heavy word and they need to reserve it for referring to things like sin and evil. 

Today, I feel compelled to talk about what I hate.

I hate the Fall of Man.

I hate watching my once strong, sure, and active grandfather slowly deteriorate from cancer, have a massive stroke, and then pass away.

I hate seeing dear friends divorce.

I hate the brokenness friends endure from past abuse. I hate the memories that haunt them. I hate how it has marked and changed their life.

I hate how I constantly fall back into old sinful habits of relating, of thinking, of speaking.

I hate how the Body is often fractured, bruised, and stunted by miscommunication, false teachers, bad theology, the desire to look more like the world, and by those whose palate has never moved beyond the taste of milk.

I hate how suffering enters our lives and hits us completely by surprise, like our friend's whose son was poisoned and now has brain damage.

I hate how precious lives are taken from the womb before they can draw their first breath.

I hate how my heart forgets God’s grace and is so easily prone to self-righteousness, self-reliance, and self-exaltation.

I hate how we all fail to honor God and give him the glory he is due.

I hate….

The only thing that comforts me in the midst of this dark and fallen world is the fact that God hates sin and evil even more than I (see Isaiah 61:8, Psalm 5:4, Proverbs 6, Zechariah 8:17). That's because sin and evil is an affront to our perfect, holy, and righteous God. In fact, he had every reason to put an end to the entire human race. But instead, he entered the misery of this world, took on frail human flesh, and lived among us.  He faced the horrors, sorrows, and temptations of this world yet never sinned once. He lived the life we could not live. And on the cross, he was made sin so that we could be made righteous. As Tim Keller wrote "God takes our misery and suffering so seriously that he was willing to take it on himself." (Reason for God p. 30).

This truth gives me great comfort. It gives me hope when I encounter all the things on my list above. Because I can’t imagine facing a single one of the above circumstances without an understanding of God’s redemptive story. I can’t imagine going through a trial without the knowledge that God is not at work in it. I can’t imagine seeing abuse, disease, and death without the hope that God’s story is not over. I can’t imagine living in this fallen world without the knowledge and presence of God. I can't imagine enduring suffering without the assurance of salvation and the hope of eternity.

Dear friend, we all should hate sin and evil. We should hate the Fall. But even as we hate it, we have hope. God has answered the problem of evil by crushing his own Son. And one day, the Son will return to restore this world and make all things new. On that day, the word "hate" will cease to exist from our vocabulary altogether.

The Vines We Cling To

Where I live, a beautiful sunny day can change in moments as ferocious storm clouds roll in seemingly out of nowhere. And though it happens every summer, I am often caught unawares and unprepared. I don't have an umbrella and of course I'm wearing shoes I don't want to get wet, much less have to walk through ankle deep water in.

These type of storms are similar to what's been happening in my life lately. I've had unexpected events cut into my otherwise sunny day. These circumstances came out of nowhere and knocked me down, like the fierce winds of a S. Florida afternoon thunderstorm storm. I found myself thinking, "This wasn't supposed to happen" and "Why God?" and "This isn't fair" and "I can't take this."

My response reminded me of Jonah's temper tantrum as he watched Nineveh from afar, waiting to see what God would do. After he finally and with reluctance complied with God's command and told the Ninevites they needed to repent, he left the city and sat on a hill.

"Jonah went out of the city and sat to the east of the city and made a booth for himself there. He sat under it in the shade, till he should see what would become of the city. Now the Lord God appointed a plant and made it come up over Jonah, that it might be a shade over his head, to save him from his discomfort. So Jonah was exceedingly glad because of the plant. But when dawn came up the next day, God appointed a worm that attacked the plant, so that it withered. When the sun rose, God appointed a scorching east wind,and the sun beat down on the head of Jonah so that he was faint. And he asked that he might die and said, “It is better for me to die than to live.” But God said to Jonah, “Do you do well to be angry for the plant?” And he said,“Yes, I do well to be angry, angry enough to die.” (Jonah 4:5-9)

God graciously provided a vine to shade Jonah from the sun. It was a gift from God that comforted Jonah. Then God sent a worm that ate up the vine. This angered Jonah. God used the worm to save Jonah from what the ESV Gospel Transformation Bible (Black) calls a "vine centered life." "A vine centered person is one who is so taken up with the joy of God's good gifts that he or she ends up loving the gifts more than the Giver." (Kindle location, 187639). In other words, idolatry.

God has removed good gifts from my life over the past few months. These were gifts that had become disordered affections in my heart, idols that I loved and cherished more than God. Any of God's good gifts can become idols to us: friendships, ministries, jobs, children, even our hopes and dreams.

My reaction to losing these gifts, like Jonah's reaction, revealed that I did not love what God loved. I cared more about my own comfort and desires. In fact such emotional responses reveal that an idol is reigning tall on the throne of our heart. Tim Keller, in his book Counterfeit Gods: The Empty Promises of Money, Sex, and Power, and the Only Hope that Matters, suggests looking at these emotional responses as a clue to our heart idols:

“Look at your most uncontrollable emotions. Just as the fisherman looking for fish knows to go where the water is roiling, look for your idols at the bottom of your most painful emotions, especially those that never seem to lift and that drive you to do things that you know are wrong. If you are angry, ask, ‘Is there something here too important to me, something I must have at all costs?’ Do the same thing with strong fear or despair and guilt. Ask yourself, ‘Am I so scared, because something in my life is being threatened that I think is a necessity when it is not? Am I so down on myself because I have lost or failed at something that I think is a necessity when it is not?’ … When you ask questions like that, when you ‘pull your emotions up by the roots,’ as it were, you will often find your idols clinging to them”(p. 169-170).

As I've wrestled through my own emotions in recent months, I've learned much about my heart and of my need for grace. My heart is an idol making factory. I come by it naturally. My sinful heart is prone to wander from my one true love. But God has not left me alone. Just as he graciously removes my vines to show me that I've wandered, he also graciously leads me back home to him. His grace for me is just that big and that amazing. And the more I have dwelt on his grace for me, I've found that it comforts me more than the vines ever did.

Do you have vines you cling to?

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