To Know Thyself

When I was in graduate school, I took several classes in which we studied various psychological tests/inventories. We learned about their history, the philosophy/theory behind them, and their statistical validity. We learned how to use them in practice. We also took many of them. I think the ones most enjoyed by the class were personality and career counseling inventories.

After they were scored, we all gathered around and shared the results with one another. There was a lot of “I knew that about you” and “This explains a lot!” and even some “I’m not so sure I agree with this.” (I felt that way about one of the career counseling inventories I took that suggested I should be a fur coat designer!)

We all have a desire to understand ourselves, and even more, to be understood by our friends, family, and co-workers. This knowledge is useful in the workplace and in relationships with others. Sometimes these tests/inventories help direct us into certain types of jobs or away from other jobs. They can be useful tools to improve group dynamics in the office space. And sometimes, these tools simply give us a vocabulary to explain our preferred way of relating with others.

But as useful as tests/inventories like these might be, the Bible shows us we can’t really know ourselves until we know God first. A striking example of this is found in the life of Isaiah.

Isaiah Learns Who God Is

In the book of Isaiah, the prophet had a vision of heaven. He saw the Lord in all his holiness. “I saw the Lord sitting upon a throne, high and lifted up; and the train of his robe filled the temple. Above him stood the seraphim. Each had six wings: with two he covered his face, and with two he covered his feet, and with two he flew. And one called to another and said: “Holy, holy, holy is the LORD of hosts; the whole earth is full of his glory!” And the foundations of the thresholds shook at the voice of him who called, and the house was filled with smoke” (Isaiah 6:1-4).

Can you imagine? The sights and sounds Isaiah experienced were extraordinary! Astounding. Dumbfounding. Isaiah saw God Almighty seated on his throne as ruler of all things. And he saw himself in contrast to the holiness and magnificence of God. Isaiah responded to this experience with the only thing that made sense. “Woe is me! For I am lost; for I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips; for my eyes have seen the King, the LORD of hosts!” (v.5)

R.C. Sproul commented on this passage in his book, The Holiness of God: “In that single moment, all of his self-esteem was shattered. In a brief second he was exposed, made naked beneath the gaze of the absolute standard of holiness. As long as Isaiah could compare himself to other mortals, he was able to sustain a lofty opinion of his character. The instant he measured himself by the ultimate standard, he was destroyed—morally and spiritually annihilated. He was undone…For the first time in his life Isaiah really understood who God was. At the same instant, for the first time Isaiah really understood who Isaiah was.”

Isaiah was a prophet, and by humanity’s standards, an upright and godly man. He likely had years of training in learning who God is. But it wasn’t until he stood in God’s presence that he finally realized who God is in all his splendor and holiness. As a result, Isaiah saw and understood who he was in comparison.

To Know Ourselves, We Must Know God

We all want to understand who we are. We want to know our purpose in life. We want to know what job we should take and what role we should serve in our homes, communities, and churches. But we can’t know who we are until we know who God is. Like Isaiah, we have to stand before God’s holiness and see ourselves in contrast. As John Calvin wrote in the Institutes, “it is evident that man never attains to a true self-knowledge until he have previously contemplated the face of God, and come down after such contemplation to look into himself.”

First we look at who God is; then we look at ourselves in comparison. 

Like Isaiah, we need to see that God is ruler of all things. He sits high on the throne of the universe, ruling over all mankind and over every living thing. We often live as though we are the kings and queens of our little kingdoms. We live as though we are independent and sufficient within ourselves. But God alone is the creator and sustainer of all he has made. He gives life and breath to all things and sustains that life by his generous provision.

As the heavenly beings in Isaiah’s vision revealed, God is holy. He is thrice holy. He is holy other—set apart from everything else in existence. Nothing and no one can compare to God’s glory and righteousness. This is why, when Isaiah saw God’s glory and holiness, he realized he was unclean and unworthy. Instead of comparing ourselves to God, we are prone to compare ourselves to others. In doing so, we might think we are okay; we’re not as sinful as other people we know. As a result, we don’t grasp the true depths of our sinfulness. It’s only when we understand God’s holiness do we realize no good deed would make us worthy to stand before him. Isaiah was rightly humbled when he saw the true state of his sinful condition. We should be humbled too.

Ready For Service

But that’s not the end of the story. An angel then took a hot coal from the altar and brought it to Isaiah. “With it he touched my mouth and said, “See, this has touched your lips; your guilt is taken away and your sin atoned for” (v.7). We too need our sin atoned for; we need a salvation and pardon from outside ourselves. God provided this through the righteous life and substitutionary death of Christ—the final and perfect sacrifice for sin. By faith in his work for us we are united to him. All he is and has done becomes ours. We are wrapped in his righteousness and made new. We can now come into the presence of God with confidence (Heb. 4:16).

After Isaiah received pardon, the voice of the Lord asked, “Whom shall I send?” (v. 8). Isaiah received his calling and purpose after cleansing from sin. Once he knew God and himself in contrast, once he acknowledged his neediness and helplessness before the King of the universe, and once he was cleansed from sin, only then was he ready to fulfill God’s plan for him.  

True knowledge of self only comes when we know God. While we will likely not encounter God the way Isaiah did, we don’t need to because we have the word of God, the Bible. There we learn who God is in all His splendor, majesty, holiness, and might. There we see that Christ is “the radiance of the glory of God and the exact imprint of his nature, and he upholds the universe by the word of his power” (Hebrews 1:30). In the pages of Scripture we learn, as Isaiah did, the true state of our sinfulness and helplessness. There we see what Christ did to make us able to stand in God’s presence and live. There we learn who we are as redeemed children of God and what God calls us to do for him in this world.

Want to know who you are? Come before the presence of God and know him first.

Identity in Changing Seasons

Who am I? 

This is a question I've been asking myself lately. I knew who I was where we used to live. But who am I now in this new place? This new community? This new church? Who am I now that my kids need me less and less with each passing year?

Who am I?

This is a question I've asked myself numerous times in my life. When I was a teen, I asked myself this question as I looked at the other teens around me and wondered: "Who am I if I don't play sports? Who am I when everyone is categorized by what they wear, where they live, who they date, and what they look like? Who am I when I don't fit in anywhere?"

The question returned when I was newly married and I attempted to navigate the challenging questions: "Who am I as a married woman? Is my identity wrapped up in who I am married to and how good a wife I am?"

When we decided I would stop working as a counselor to stay home with our children, I wondered: "Who am I now that I can't identify myself by my work? What does it mean to be a stay-at-home mom? What happens to those gifts and skills God has given me, do they just get buried in with the pile of laundry that never dissipates?"

I know that around the corner lies even more questions, like "Who am I now that the kids are out of the house and on their own? Who am I when I can't get around like I used to? Who am I when I need other people to do things for me that I used to do for myself?"

A Secure Identity

Throughout my life, the responsibilities, roles, jobs, and commitments I make will change. They will come and go. What I do with my time in one decade will likely be different in the next. My identity can't be rooted in those things. Even a role as important as motherhood can't be how I define myself. It can't be what I rest in to give my life meaning. Because what happens when the house is empty and I'm no longer needed?  

Though I'm prone to forget, Scripture tells me who I am. It gives me an enduring meaning and purpose. It's something that will not change no matter what changes in my life or in the world around me. It won't change with my age or the season of life I am in. It won't change whether I live in this town or in another. It's not effected by what I do but it does inform what I do.

When God spoke this world into existence, He created mankind. Our first parents, Adam and Eve, were made to image God. "Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.” So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them" (Genesis 1:26-27). They were given responsibility to rule over the world God had made as His representatives. They imaged Him in their work, in their creativity, in their rest. They glorified Him in their obedience, in their relationship with one another, and in their enjoyment of being in His presence.

Then they fell into sin. They defied the one thing God told them they couldn't do. Because Adam was our representative, his action had an effect on all of us. When he fell, we all fell. We all inherit our sin nature from him. Yet even before God announced the curses upon Adam and Eve, He prefaced it with this promise, "I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and her offspring; he shall bruise your head, and you shall bruise his heel" (Genesis 3:15).

Jesus is the Second Adam, the one who perfectly obeyed, and the fulfillment of that promise in Genesis 3:15. That's because He is God incarnate. "He is the radiance of the glory of God and the exact imprint of his nature, and he upholds the universe by the word of his power. After making purification for sins, he sat down at the right hand of the Majesty on high" (Hebrews 1:3). Through faith in Christ and His perfect life, sacrificial death, and triumphant resurrection, we are united to Him and are adopted into God's family. Christ's obedience is given to us. Because He obeyed in our place, because we are united to Him by faith, God looks at us and accepts us. He has given us the gift of His Spirit who is even now at work in us, conforming us into the image of Christ. 

We were created as image bearers and made to reflect God's glory. Though the image was broken by the Fall, through our adoption into the family of God, we are now redeemed image bearers. That's our identity. We are "in Christ." We now live to bring Him glory. The Westminster Confession tells us that our primary purpose is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever. That was Adam and Eve's purpose in the Garden and through Christ, we are enabled to once again to live out that purpose and identity.

When I wonder who I am in the various contexts and seasons of life, I have to remember this truth: I am in Christ. Whatever changes take place throughout the seasons of my life, whatever new experiences I face, I remain a child of God. I am united with Christ; I bear His image in this world. This identity gives shape to how I do the jobs, roles, and tasks God gives me. This identity informs what it looks like for me to be a wife, mother, friend, and co-worker. It defines how I serve and love others, and even how I live out the final years of my life. This identity is always with me and will be with me into eternity. "You have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!” The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him" (Romans 8:15-17).

So who am I? I am in Christ. I am God's own. I am an image bearer created to glorify and enjoy my Maker.

From Useless to Useful

What does your name mean?

I once did a study with my children on the names of God. We started by looking at each of their names and what they mean. I laughed to myself at the irony of how my children significantly reflect their names’ meanings.

My own name means Christian, or “Christ follower.” Unlike my children, I did not come out of the womb reflecting the meaning of my name. Rather, I put on my name when God gripped my heart and made me his child.

From Useless to Useful

Onesimus had a similar experience with his name. Onesimus was a slave who had stolen from his master, Philemon, and ran away.

He later came to faith in Christ through the apostle Paul’s ministry. In fact, Paul refers to himself as Onesimus’s “father” because Paul directly shared Christ with him (Philemon 10). The book of Philemon is a letter Paul wrote to tell Philemon (a believer who also came to Christ through Paul’s ministry) that Onesimus had come to saving faith in Christ....

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