When the calendar flipped to the new year, I didn’t feel that usual burst of inspiration to do all the “new year” things. You know, like organizing my pantry or making resolutions of improvements I want to make in my life or creating a wish list of books to read in 2023. I didn’t get out my calendar and make plans for the future. In fact, just the thought of setting a goal or making a resolution made me weary.
I know not everyone is into making goals at the start of the new year. And I know not everyone likes to organize their life or plan ahead, but I do. So when I wasn’t motivated to do so, I had to pause and consider why that might be.
Then I remembered. Grief.
The past year for me—actually, the past few years, if I’m honest—was filled with losses, both big and small. Some loss was hard to define, like when I closed the chapter on many years as a homeschooling parent. Other losses felt confusing, like when my son left home for college and I felt a mixture of sadness for me and happiness for him. And then there was the most recent loss of my father back in November, a loss which really began the year before when we first learned he had Alzheimer’s and then had to spend a year watching him fade away.
The truth is, grief, in all its forms, is tiring. It makes even simple, everyday responsibilities challenging. It’s like slogging through squishy mud where your shoes get sucked in with each step. Activities that you usually complete without a thought all of a sudden require significant work. You are physically and emotionally drained. Spent by the smallest efforts.
It was helpful for me to realize this and to acknowledge that I am not super-human. After a series of losses, I can’t expect to just carry on as usual. I need to take time to rest. I need to acknowledge what I have lost and work through them.
One recent morning, I read in Psalm 119: “I am weary from grief, strengthen me through your word” (Psalm 119:28, CSB). The psalmist is a long time companion for me and he often reminds me of what is true. The psalm doesn’t describe the situation which brought the psalmist grief. Was it grief over the loss of a loved one? Grief over personal sin? Over something happening in the nation as a whole? Grief over the hard circumstances of his life? Whatever the reason, the psalmist resonates with my own heart: grief is tiring. But he then reminds me that strength is available; it’s found in the word of God.
Throughout the Bible, God speaks to those who are weary and promises them rest. He doesn’t tell them to get their act together or just “get over” their circumstances. He doesn’t call them to self-rescue. Instead, he invites them to find rest in himself. He promises life and strength through communion with him. He feeds and sustains his people by his word. Even more, the word of God breathes life into the dead spaces of our lives. This is good news for those who are weary from grief.
I can’t help but think of Ezekiel and the Valley of Dry Bones. God brought Ezekiel to a valley scattered with bones. Ezekiel describes the bones as “very many” and “very dry.” There is no life to be found in them. I can only imagine what such a valley looked like. God asks him, “Son of man, can these bones live?” (Ez. 37:3). God then gives him words to speak, to prophecy over the bones and at his words, an amazing thing happens. The bones return to life! Ezekiel watches as the bones come together with great rattling. Then sinew. flesh, and skin come upon them. God then tells him to, “Prophesy to the breath; prophesy, son of man, and say to the breath, Thus says the Lord God: Come from the four winds, O breath, and breathe on these slain, that they may live” (Ez. 37:9). Just like at creation when God spoke and life began, Ezekiel speaks the words of the Lord and life is resurrected; the bones return to life. From barrenness comes new birth; from emptiness comes fullness; from sadness comes great joy.
This story in Ezekiel points to the way the Spirit breathes life into our dead souls so that we can respond in faith to the call of the gospel. And it’s a reminder of the power of God’s word in all the lifeless spaces of our lives. It’s good news for the weary and faint of heart. It’s good news for those who grieve.
May the psalmist’s prayer be our prayer as well: “I am weary from grief, strengthen me through your word.” Like the psalmist, we can engage with God in our grief and cry out to him in our weariness. We can ask him to renew our strength. We can pray for resurrection in our own valleys of dry bones. And as we encounter him through the Scripture, we can expect great things. For the One who spoke and said “Let there be light” will bring light to rise upon the darkness of our days. He will bring new life. He will strengthen the weary heart.
Photo by Marcus Ganahl on Unsplash
