The Comforting Church

C. S. Lewis once said friendship is born at the moment when one says to another, “What! You too? I thought that no one but myself . . . .” We’ve all had that “You too?” moment with another person when we discovered a common interest. We instantly felt encouraged, connected, and less alone.

While friendships based on similar likes and interests are wonderful, there is a deeper level of friendship. When we have friendships in the church, we receive comfort and encouragement we can’t get anywhere else.

The Comforting Gospel

In 2 Corinthians, Paul points the suffering believers to their union with Christ in his sufferings, and he describes God as the “God of all comfort” (2 Cor. 1:3).

Paul had experienced his own suffering while in Asia, even to the point that he “despaired of life itself” (2 Cor. 1:8), but God delivered him and his co-laborers. As he wrote to the Corinthians, then, he was thankful for the God “who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God” (2 Cor. 1:4)

Having received comfort from God, Paul was positioned to extend comfort to others...to read the rest of this post, visit The Gospel Coalition.

Closer Than a Sister Giveaway

Did you know that you need your sisters in Christ? There are no lone rangers in the body of Christ. We need one another.

From my book, Closer Than a Sister: How Union with Christ helps Friendships to Flourish (Focus for Women):

"I’ve talked to people who shrug at the idea of commitment to a local body of believers. They think of church as a place you go to hear an inspiring message. They go for a pick-me-up to inspire them for the coming week at work or for a boost of self-help instruction to encourage them at the end of a difficult week. And if they don’t have time to attend church on Sunday morning, they can always listen to a podcast or read a blog post. This kind of half-hearted involvement with the church misses the purpose of the church altogether. They don’t realize their vital need for the Body of Christ.

Because we were created for community and designed to reflect the three-in-one community of our Triune God, we need to be in spiritual community with our church family and share our common life together. We need flesh and blood, face to face, interactions. Online relationships and interactions are no substitute. We simply cannot know others or be known in a virtual world. We also cannot know or be known when we slip into the last row of church ten minutes after it starts and leave right after the benediction. We cannot give or receive true Christian fellowship if we are not actively engaged in sharing a common life with our family in the Lord.

God uses our fellowship with one another to encourage us spiritually. He also uses us in one another’s sanctification as we point out the truth to each other. He uses us to carry one another’s burdens as we help each other in practical ways. He uses our prayers for one another to carry out His will. He uses us to disciple and to teach one another in the Word and the way of faith. We need that community and without it, we are weakened."

Do you know this kind of friendship? Perhaps as you read this, a specific sister in Christ came to mind. With Christmas around the corner, Closer Than a Sister would make a great gift to give to another sister-friend. Perhaps you and your friend could read it together and grow in what it means to be united to Christ and to one another in the church.

With that in mind, I have a giveaway! Two copies of Closer Than a Sister—one for you and one for your sister-friend and a bracelet with the phrase 'sisters in Christ' stamped on the inside. Simply leave a comment below and you will be entered for the drawing. US residents only, please. Giveaway ends December 8 at 7am. 

Note: I am a member of the Amazon Affiliates program and links to books in this post are connected to my affiliates account with Amazon.com. 

Cultivating Community in the Church

There’s a lot of talk in Christian circles about “community,” “spiritual friendship,” and “doing life together.” It sounds like something we all want in our churches, and we work hard to create it. We start programs and provide groups for every age and life circumstance. We offer the best coffee on Sunday mornings so people will linger and talk. We organize fun events and get-togethers.

But is all of that really community?

Christian Community

Community is God’s idea. He is a community in Himself: God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit. The Triune community has existed for all eternity past, loving, serving, exalting, and glorifying one another within the Godhead. When God created mankind, He chose to share that community with us so that we could experience the love and fellowship God has always known.

Genesis 1:26 tells us that God created mankind in His image. One of the ways we image God is by being in community with others. That’s why God said that one thing was missing in His creation (Gen. 2:18). He created Eve to live in community with Adam, and together they would reflect the Triune community. And they did so, until they fell into sin and broke community with God and each other.

Jesus came to redeem and restore us back into right relationship with God and one another. Through His life, death, and resurrection, Jesus created a new community, the Church. This new community is made up of redeemed saints, who, by faith, are adopted into the family of God. The Church is a family, and we are all children of God, making the relationships we have with other women in the church even closer than a sister. “I will be a father to you, and you shall be sons and daughters to me, says the Lord Almighty” (2 Cor. 6:18).

The Greek word koinonia is used in the New Testament to refer to the new relationship formed among believers united in Christ. It is most often written as “fellowship” in our Bibles. When the early church met together, Luke tells us, “They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers” (Acts 2:42)...

To read the rest of this post, visit Revive Our Hearts.

Ideas to Cultivate Community

I shared in my book, Closer Than a Sister, that as I wrote it, I had to live out what I was writing while I wrote it. That's because when I first had the idea to write Closer Than a Sister, I was enjoying sweet community and fellowship with my church family. But it wasn't until a year or so later that I signed a contract to write it, and, in a twist of irony, I had moved away from that community. I basically wrote the book community-less.

To be honest, it's challenging to write about something you no longer have.

You might be in a similar place. Perhaps you've just moved to a new place and are seeking community. Perhaps you've been in a church for a while and still feel like a stranger there. Maybe everywhere you have been in recent years fails to match the community you experienced at some point in the past. Whatever your current situation, if you are longing for community, I wanted to share a few suggestions for cultivating community in your local church.

Before I share those ideas, I want to say that I am intentional in using the term "cultivate." We can't create Christian community; God already has. Through the blood of Christ shed for his people, God created the church. It is filled with redeemed brothers and sisters who are united to Christ and to each other for all eternity. So the community already exists. But like a seed buried in the soil, we need to nurture it to help it grow.

From Closer Than a Sister: “Ultimately, to cultivate friendship, we have to be a friend. We often look for others who will be a friend to us, but the place to start is to be a friend to others. Be the friend you desire to have.”

1.       Pray: If you desire close Christian community, pray for it. Pray that God would bring you the people he desires in your life. Pray for opportunities to reach out and serve, to befriend others, and disciple someone else. Also, pray through all the twists and turns, ups and downs, and challenges you will likely encounter in friendship. Friendship and community is God's idea. He desires it for us. But it has to be rooted in him. Jesus has to be our friend first before we can be a friend to others. So abide in Christ through prayer through this process.  

2.       Participate: Participate in whatever your church currently offers. If they offer Bible studies, join one. If they have small groups which meet in other people's homes, attend one. If they have any fellowship opportunities, participate in them. The best way to know people is to be a part of what is happening in your church. You can't know others or be known by your church community when you slink into the last row just as the pastor begins the sermon and slide out right as he gives the benediction. Take advantage of any and every opportunity for fellowship and participation in the life of your church.

3.       Purpose: Purpose to engage with other people. Be intentional. Seek out others who are in need and meet those needs. Call someone whom you know is struggling and invite them to coffee. Be watchful for those on the outside, for those who are new or who don't seem to fit in and get to know them. Don't wait for friendship to happen to you, be a friend to others.

4.       Plan: Make intentional plans to develop community. For the longest time, my husband and I invited any new family who visited our church to share a meal with us. We made many great and lasting friends this way. Our home was like a revolving door; we always had people coming or going. We hosted small groups, Bible studies, parties, fellowship events, moms playgroups, and more in our home. And since moving to a new town, we've done the same thing. Plan to put something in the oven on a Sunday morning and invite a family from church over for lunch afterward. Choose a book and invite several people to read it with you. Meet together weekly or monthly to talk about it. Call a few other moms and invite them to meet at a park for the kids to play together. Consider starting a weekly play date with other moms. 

Just as it takes time for a planted seed to grow and develop into a full and thriving plant, it takes time for friendship and community to grow. Deep friendships are built over time and often through shared trials and challenges of life. The longer we walk with someone in our journey of faith, the more we experience together and the deeper our friendship grows. But you have to start somewhere, so why not start where you are right now? 

What a Friend We Have in Jesus

“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity” (Proverbs 17:17). What a joy it is to have a friend, one we can confide and trust in, receive help and encouragement from, one who knows and loves us just as we are. To have a friend walk beside us in the darkest times is a great blessing.

But friendship, like all things in this fallen world, is broken. Because of sin, we have conflicts with others. We seek our own way. We hurt and betray one another. We know what it is like to have a friend fail us and let us down. We’ve probably had friends betray our confidences with others. Perhaps we’ve even had friends turn their backs and reject us. Certainly we know what it’s like when close friends from the past fade farther away through time and distance. Some of us may know the heartache of losing a friend through death.

As a result, it can be easy to grow cynical about friendship. We can be distrusting and cautious. We might find relationships online or through social media to be more appealing than flesh and blood friendships. We may keep the relationships we do have at a distance, never trusting enough to share what’s really going on in our heart. And some may give up on friendship altogether, preferring to handle life on our own...

To read the rest of this post, visit Desiring God.

Rejoice with those Who Rejoice

Welcoming smiles. Homemade desserts. Fresh flowers. Laughter.

Don’t you just love a church family celebration? Whether it’s rejoicing over a baptism, celebrating a wedding, or showering a mother-to-be, we do a good job celebrating the goodness of God in our lives.

Except for when we don’t.

Rejoice with Rejoicers

“Rejoice with those who rejoice,” Paul exhorts (Rom. 12:15). “If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together” (1 Cor. 12:26). These admonitions aren’t just nice things to do; they concern our unity in Christ and our unity with one another.

Through faith in Christ’s redeeming work, we’re united to him. And unity with him unites us to one another. Though we come to Christ as individuals, upon salvation we’re immediately joined to all the members of God’s family. We’re connected to believers past, present, and future, from all over the world. This family is different from one comprised of blood relatives; it’s a family born of Christ’s blood. Our unity is eternal.

That’s why Paul could say we’re to rejoice with those who rejoice. In our union, their joy is our joy...

To read the rest of this post, visit TGC.