I’ve long enjoyed watching those shows where a realtor helps people search for a new house. They usually tour several homes and at the end of the show, they pick their favorite. I like seeing the inside of different homes, the diversity in architecture, and what homes are like in different corners of the country. I often find myself disagreeing with the homeowner’s final choice.
At the start of these shows, the home hunters describe the size and location of the house they desire, often ending with something like this: “We are looking for our forever home.” Forever home. So much is wrapped up in those two words. It’s a sentimental statement for sure, filled with memories, traditions, and family. It evokes feelings of contentment, peace, and satisfaction. There’s a finality to it. A dream come true.
I appreciate the sentiment. I love all things family and tradition. There’s something special about having the perfect picture window to place the Christmas tree in front of each year. Establishing a homestead to raise a generation and have them return each year with their own children is a worthy goal. I can relate to desire to create memories with loved ones gathered around the kitchen counter or dining table. And to etch a child’s height on the doorway molding throughout the years. To have a mantle to hang stockings on each year. To have that big wall in the family room on which to hang pictures of the kids as they grow throughout the years.
But as a believer, whenever I hear the phrase “forever home” I pause, because there’s something lacking in the sentiment. Actually, a few somethings. First, it assumes we know the future. We all want a semblance of control in our lives. Who wouldn’t want to know that you’ll live in the same house, in the same town for the rest of your life? By declaring something as “forever” we attempt to take that control, to steer our life where we want it to go. Yet to declare that where one lives as a “forever home” assumes that we know God’s plan for our lives. But as Proverbs reminds us “The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps” (16:9). It may be that we live in one place for five years and then God calls us to relocate elsewhere. Like all our goals and plans in life, the very place we live ought to be held loosely, yielding to God’s sovereign will and plan. As James exhorts, “you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that” (4:15).
Sometimes, the idea of a “forever home” can become an idol we worship. It can be held up as the epitome of success and achievement in life. It can be one of those things we strive for, so much so, we aren’t satisfied or content until we have it. A house becomes that one thing we think will make us feel content and at peace. I know my own heart has whispered “If only I had__________” (a bigger house, a house with a yard, a house with a playroom, a house with an open concept to hosts friends, a house closer to friends, etc). We look to the perfect home to give our lives meaning and purpose and identity, rather than the One who made us.
The idea of a “forever home” also presupposes that God wants us to park ourselves in one spot and plant roots in the soil of this world. Many in our culture view this world as all there is. They don’t believe in life after death; therefore, they have to live their “best life now.” They have to meet all their goals, achieve all their dreams, and acquire all they can in the here and now. For some, that includes a “forever home.” If life ends at death, it makes sense that one would want a beautiful home to live in “forever.” But for those who are in Christ, we know that this world is not all there is. We are pilgrims— nomads on a journey in this world. This is not our home. Like Abraham, whom God called to himself and set him on a journey to the land of Canaan, we are on a journey to a place God has promised for us. And like Abraham, we won’t settle in that place in this life—he didn’t own but a burial plot when he died.
Our own Savior didn’t have a home of his own (Matt. 8:20). When Jesus ascended into heaven, he said he was going to prepare a forever place for us. One day he will return to judge the earth and make all things new. On that day, we will receive our “forever home.” We will live on the new earth for all eternity, worshiping and praising the One whom is our home and dwelling place. “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God” (Rev. 21:3).
There’s nothing wrong with settling into a home and raising a family there. It’s a blessing not everyone gets to experience, but it is one to be appreciated. We just have to remember that it’s not our ultimate joy. The perfect home will not make us feel complete and whole. It’s a temporary dwelling, a safe and dry place to lay our heads and eat meals with the ones we love. Like any good gift from God, our homes ought to point us to him. Because our real home—our forever home—is found in the presence of God himself.
