Screen Time Rules

In the corner of our garage sits a vintage tabletop Ms. Pacman video game, a relic of my husband’s childhood. Much has changed in technology since that time. Instead of Atari, we have Xbox and wiiu. Rather than just a desktop computer, most of us also have laptops and handheld devices. Long gone are rotary phones—remember those? Instead, we have smart phones that contain our bank, encyclopedia, security system, library, stereo, social networks, and calendar all wrapped up small enough to fit in our back pocket. Indeed, since the days of Pacman, technology has changed, so much so that it often seems our life is ruled by and shaped by it.

Children and Technology

Our children are growing up in a world where everything revolves around a screen. Children today spend at least seven hours a day staring at some kind of screen, be it a television, computer, or handheld device. While much of technology is helpful, useful, and important, there is also much that is concerning. Studies have found that overuse of technology can cause attention difficulties, obesity, irritability and behavior problems, learning challenges, and even addiction.

To read the rest of this post, visit For the Family, my writing home today.

From Useless to Useful

What does your name mean?

I once did a study with my children on the names of God. We started by looking at each of their names and what they mean. I laughed to myself at the irony of how my children significantly reflect their names’ meanings.

My own name means Christian, or “Christ follower.” Unlike my children, I did not come out of the womb reflecting the meaning of my name. Rather, I put on my name when God gripped my heart and made me his child.

From Useless to Useful

Onesimus had a similar experience with his name. Onesimus was a slave who had stolen from his master, Philemon, and ran away.

He later came to faith in Christ through the apostle Paul’s ministry. In fact, Paul refers to himself as Onesimus’s “father” because Paul directly shared Christ with him (Philemon 10). The book of Philemon is a letter Paul wrote to tell Philemon (a believer who also came to Christ through Paul’s ministry) that Onesimus had come to saving faith in Christ....

To read the rest of this post, visit Desiring God, my writing home today.

When Healing Hurts

"I'm sorry, I know this hurts but it's what we have to do to heal your arm."

That's what the physical therapist said as he dug his fingers deep into my forearm. I have tendinitis or what is commonly called, tennis elbow. And no, it's not from playing tennis, but from writing. The pain has kept me from my usual writing schedule. In fact, it has interfered with every area of my life because I use my right arm for everything. 

As the therapist massaged the tendon in my arm, he explained that he was separating the scar tissue that had formed. Then he told me that I would have to do the same at home. 

To be honest, what he did to my arm hurt more than the tendinitis. It felt like he was stabbing at an open wound. And didn't he realize I chose physical therapy because I preferred not to receive injections in my arm?

Growing Pains

The idea that we have to endure pain in order to heal is not isolated to the physical realm. This is true in our spiritual lives as well. When we encounter God's grace and he makes us his child through faith in Christ, he doesn't leave us as we are. Upon salvation, though we are changed in the eyes of God as he looks at us and sees Christ's righteousness and not our sin, he doesn't make us perfect right then and there. Rather, he changes and transforms us through a process theologians call sanctification. This process is compared to a refiner's fire where the gold or silver's impurities are melted away, leaving the pure and valuable substance behind (Malachi 3). 

What that means is, when I ask God to transform me, to make me more like Christ, he doesn't instantly change me. He strips away my sin through a multitude of circumstances and situations. For example, when I pray and ask God to make me patient, I don't wake up the next morning a patient person. Instead, God gives me opportunities to learn and practice patience. He might even allow frustrating situations into my life that stretch my patience. He might also open my eyes, through the work of his Spirit, to see my impatience so that I might repent and seek his forgiveness. All of this is hard work and sometimes painful. 

This pain is felt in varying ways and degrees. Sometimes it comes through a trial as our faith is tried and tested and we learn to rely and depend upon Christ. Other times this pain is felt as God disciplines us for our sin. We also feel it as we stretch and grow in our faith, not unlike the growing pains of childhood. And other times it is felt as God cuts us off from our idols, forcing us to turn back to him. Whatever the degree or source of pain, it is all used for our good and His glory.  

Pain that Heals

I tend to avoid pain, thus the reason for my visit to the physical therapist. Only I was surprised to learn that I couldn't avoid it if I wanted to heal and have my arm back to normal. Likewise, we can't avoid the pain of sanctification if we want to grow in holiness. That's our goal, to image Christ and be like him. Our Savior showed us that the way to healing was through the cross, through death, and he calls us to follow him in it. "He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed" (1 Peter 2:24). We are new creations, and as such, we have to put to death those things from our former life, those things that are not in keeping with our new identity as redeemed children of God. "Do not present your members to sin as instruments for unrighteousness, but present yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life, and your members to God as instruments for righteousness" (Romans 6:13).

Therefore, we endure hardship, suffering, and trials because they are the means by which God shapes us and refines us. We know that he has a good purpose and plan for us and that the end result will be righteousness. "It is for discipline that you have to endure...For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it" (Hebrews 12:7,11). "In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ" (1 Peter 1:6-7).

Whenever I struggle with the pain of sanctification, I often think of Eustice in the Voyage of the Dawn Treader. While their ship was anchored at an island, Eustice wandered off from everyone else to do his own thing. He found a cave filled with gold and treasures and in his greed, wanted it for himself. As a result, he turned into a dragon, covered in scales. "He had turned into a dragon while he was asleep. Sleeping on a dragon's hoard with greedy, dragonish thoughts in his heart, he had become a dragon himself." (p. 75)

Aslan later found him and removed his dragon skin from him. It was painful but it made him a boy again: "The very first tear he made was so deep that I thought it had gone right into my heart. And when he began pulling the skin off, it hurt worse than anything I've ever felt. The only thing that made me able to bear it was just the pleasure of feeling the stuff peel off." (p. 90)

Being refined is painful but it's a good pain. It is a necessary pain. It's a pain that heals. But a day is coming when we will finally shed the last remnants of this sinful and broken life for good. I, for one, long for that day. Don't you?

What's On My Shelf

When I visit new friends, I always find my way over to their book shelf to browse their books. A person's books tells me a lot about them. I look to see what books we have in common, what books surprise me, what books I've always wanted to read, and what books are the most loved from years of reading and re-reading.

In our last house, I didn't have a proper place to store my books. They were scattered around, wherever I could find space. In our new house, I have an office to myself and bookshelves for my books. I like to call it my "library." It's nice to see all my friends gathered together in one place where I can easily find them when I need them.

If you also like to snoop around your friend's bookshelves, here's a peek at what's new on my shelf in recent months.

Being There: Dave Furman has experienced intense physical suffering over the last decade which affects the use of his arms. His wife, Gloria, has walked with him in his suffering and so have many others in his life. Writing out of his experience of receiving care from others, Dave provides gospel encouragement to those who care for the suffering. "As a pastor I have seen the power of God's Word in the lives of others, and as a pastor who struggles with disability, I have felt the power of God's Word in my own time of need. While I'm thankful for modern medicines and the relief they can provide, I understand that my greatest hope doesn't come in a prescription. I know this truth intellectually, but as a person who experiences chronic pain, I need to be reminded of God's sovereign goodness. And those reminders often come through my friends who turn out to be not just friends but hope dealers." (p. 62). This book is filled with practical ways we can love and serve those who are suffering, both in our actions and our words. And ultimately how we can point sufferers to their hope in Christ. 

Whispers of Hope: Most books on adoption focus on how to adopt or how to raise an adopted child. Whispers of Hope by Twila Miles is for the adoptive parents who are struggling with issues post adoption, when they try to reach the heart of their adopted child. Twila shares the story of her family's own journey with their adopted child and God's strengthening grace through each twist and turn. In sharing their story, she gives adoptive parents hope, pointing them to Christ and the work he is doing through them as they reach out in love to their hurting child. "No one ever said that adoption would be easy. It may be wonderful, and well worth the effort (I definitely think so!), but it is not easy. In fact, we have found that it is one of the most selfless things a person can do, for it involves giving your life to another (John 15:13). Because of that, I am reminded daily of the fact that Christ gave His life for us. He didn't do it because we were prefect, kind, or lovely. He did it because He is perfect, kind and lovely, and He desired to extend His grace to us so that we could be brought into relationship with Him. Likewise, we must never lose sight of the fact that our children have been given to use so that we can care for them, even when they are difficult; so we can love them, even when they rebel; and so we can give our lives to them, even when they are not appreciative." (p. 81). 

Missional Motherhood: Gloria Furman's newest book is not about motherhood in the sense that we typically think of it. It's not a book on being a mom, as in the daily tasks of caring for and raising children. Rather it's about motherhood in the grand scheme. It's about all believing women being called to "mother" others for the sake of the Kingdom. It's about discipleship and spreading the gospel and praying for God's work in the world. It's about mothers with biological children, mothers with adoptive children, grandmothers, women without children, and single women nurturing others with the gospel. "Missional motherhood is not just for women who have given birth through their bodies or for those who have adopted children born from the body of another. The motherhood to which every Christian woman is called is making disciples of all nations." (p. 166). So if you are reading this, and you are a Christian woman, this book is for you. 

Unashamed: We all know what it is to feel shame. That desire to run and hide. That fear that others would see and know who we really are, what we've done, or what's been done to us. "At its core, shame is fear of weakness, failure, or unworthiness being unveiled for all to see, or fear that at least one other person will notice that which we want to hide." (p. 17). Heather Nelson brings shame out of the darkness and into the light, exposing it for what it really is: a lie. She unpacks different areas of shame, such as shame in marriage, body image, parenting,  and work and points us to our hope, forgiveness, and healing through the work of Christ for us. Unashamed is an important book for all of us.

Respectable Sins: I have a dog-eared copy of Respectable Sins which I have read multiple times. When I came across a student version of the book, I had to get it. I've been reading it out loud with my children each day. It has been a helpful guide in describing those sins we find acceptable and applying the gospel to them. "...we need a daily dose of the gospel to deal with the sin in our lives. We need that daily assurance that even though we are great sinners, we have a great Savior. We need the continual reminder that our sins are forgiven, that God doesn't count them against us, that He is on our side and helping us fight against sin instead of judging us for it." (p. 32) Though it is written for teens, I have found it to be just as helpful for my kids. Since I am reading it out loud, occasionally I have reworded things for my elementary age children so they can better relate.

What's new on your book shelf? 

Note: Some of these books I received copies of for free in exchange for my review. I am a member of the Amazon Affiliates program and links to books in this post are connected to my affiliates account with Amazon.com. 

A Mother's Peace

She meets each new day
as rays begin their streak across the morning sky.
Already weary from midnight risings
and drained from the long day before.

She starts her daily tasks
knowing they'll never be completed:
the laundry overflowing,
the dishes piled high,
the meals always needed,
the floors always spotted.

Pushing start on the coffee pot,
she hears the pitter patter of feet.
Voices raise to be heard,
questions,
expectations,
demands,
cries,
bombard her ears in rapid fire succession.

The day rushes past in a whirlwind
of tasks, duties, and responsibilities
She referees squabbles,
teaches manners,
feeds bellies,
cleans up spills,
runs errands,
instructs minds,
kisses wounds.

She lies down at night with a deep sigh
knowing tomorrow's a repeat of today.
Wondering what she accomplished
and what surprises await the next sunrise...

To read the rest of this post, visit Engaging Motherhood. 

The Wrong Kind of Contentment

Contentment is something we as believers often pray for. It's one of those things we desire but often feels just out of reach. We read Paul's description of contentment in Philippians and it seems like an impossibility, "Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need" (Philippians 4:11-12).

To be content in whatever situation? What does that even look like?

How are we to be content when we lose our job, when relationships are hard, when our bodies don't work right, when everyone else's dreams come true while we stand there with hands left empty?

Sometimes I think that one of the problems with our contentment is that we are content with the things we shouldn't be content with and discontent with the the things we should be contented with. 

Confused?

Perhaps we are discontent because we are too content with the wrong things.

We are content in our lack of growth in faith

We are content with barely skimming the top layer of Scripture

We are content with this world and what it has to offer

We are content with how we treat others

We are content with our bad habits, the idols of our hearts, and our "respectable" sins

We are content in the superficiality of our relationships

We are content with our text-like prayers and crying out to God only when we are in need

We are content with how little we really know about God

We are content with a heart that loves this world more than we long for the next

In being content with these things, we find ourselves discontent with where we live, our marriage, our friendships, our work, and where God has placed us. We zero in on these things and think that if they changed, our life would be better. We compare what we have to what others have. We disconnect and disengage and seek all that is greener on the other side. 

In effect, we are content with a halfhearted devotion to Christ. Our hearts are turned away from Christ and toward false idols we think will satisfy a parched soul. The secret to Paul's contentment in all circumstances, whether he had plenty or had little, was that his heart was fixed on Christ. "I can do all things through him who strengthens me" (vs. 13). Like Paul, our own contentment needs to be rooted in Christ, who he is, what he has done, and who we are because of it. 

In Christ, we have all we need or could ever desire. In him we find our meaning and purpose. We find our identity as an image bearer and as a child of the living God. Finding our meaning in him keeps us focused on the work he has for us rather than what he is doing in the lives of others. In Christ, we find the mercy, grace, and salvation we desperately need. This is our greatest need and one that can only be met in him.

And as we look to him, seeking to know him through his word, our hearts are surgically transformed by his living and powerful word. The more his word and the truths of the gospel work in us, the more our desires conform to his will, and the more we find ourselves content with whatever circumstances the Lord provides. 

When we find our hearts discontent and we long for something new and better and we begin to look for it in all the wrong places, we need to cry out to God. Not to ask him to make our lives better but to ask for a clean heart. We need to seek him in repentance, applying to our heart what Christ has done for us in the gospel. We need to abide in him, remembering that apart from him, we can do nothing.

Then the one thing we ask for won't be what our neighbor has. It won't be a change in circumstance. It won't be a plea for something new or better. Rather we'll be able to say with the psalmist, "One thing have I asked of the LORD, that will I seek after: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to inquire in his temple" (27:4).