C.S. Lewis once wrote, “God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our consciences, but shouts in our pains. It is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world.” The recent events brought on by the Coronavirus are shouting pretty loud, wouldn’t you say?
At least it is in my own heart.
Everyone has been impacted by this pandemic in a myriad of ways: lost jobs, cancelled plans, missed friends and family, and most notably a sickness that continues to grow and spread. Children who would otherwise be in school are now learning from home. Our movements are restricted to what is most necessary. Those who are sick wait for hours to find testing and treatment. And we don’t know when it will end.
Trials such as this shine a light in the dark recesses of our hearts, revealing what we cherish most. What we love above all. What we put our hope in. What we trust in. The god that we serve.
In my own heart, this pandemic highlights my idol of control. I’m a planner at heart. I enjoy making lists and crossing them off. Next to my computer lies a list of reservations I need to make for our long-awaited family trip to Europe in May. Our epic homeschool trip. The one where we were going to follow the Allied invasion and tour battle fields from WWII. The one where we would visit the Ten Boom house we’ve been reading about in The Hiding Place. We’ve had to cancel the trip and I can’t help but feel sad.
This situation points out to me how much I trust in my plans and worship them. I rest in those plans. I find hope in those plans. And with everything in my life now cancelled, I am reminded afresh of James’ admonition: “Come now, you who say, ‘Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit’— yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, ‘If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that’” (James 4:13-15).
James reminds us that we don’t control the future. God does. We don’t plan our lives. God does. He wrote the story of our days before time began. It’s already etched in the annals of time and nothing can change it. He determines the plan, we live it out.
I also see this idol when my heart bristles at losing the freedom of mobility. I am a homebody and love sitting at home reading a book or working on a writing project. I don’t need to be surrounded by people all the time. But I want to stay at home on my own terms. I want to be able to determine when I come and go. I don’t like the control taken from me.
This idol also reveals itself in my fears for the future. My husband just heard his pay was cut and we worry about his job security. I find myself looking ahead and wondering what will happen if things continue for a few more weeks. A few more months. Not knowing what the future holds makes me nervous. Worried. Anxious.
No doubt, a pandemic can highlight the idols of our heart. And for myself, I am thankful that it has. It’s easy to live life as though I am the ruler of my personal kingdom. It’s easy to go about my day trusting in my plans and relying on my bank account. It’s easy to live as though I have control over my days. It takes a situation like this to remind me what is true and to point me to the One who reigns over all things.
While I don’t have control, I know who does. The One who flung the stars across the sky and spoke this world into being holds all things in his hands. He is not surprised or caught off guard by anything. He knows the end from the beginning and governs all things, from the gravity that keeps me in my chair to the speck of dust dancing across my desk. This is the real and true God. Anything else I trust in is false and counterfeit. There is nothing and no one in this world who can rescue me from the curse of sin and death but God through his Son, Jesus Christ. The eternal Son of God came to live in this sin-sick world and live a perfect life in my place. He took my sin upon him and died the death I deserve. In doing so, he freed me from looking for hope in lesser things. He freed me from looking for life in anything else but him. He opened my eyes to see that nothing else I put my hope and trust in compares to him. He alone is my refuge and my deliverer.
This truth anchors me in the current chaos.
And so, as I sit enclosed in my house and wonder what the future holds, I have to turn from the idol of control and rest in the God who controls the world. He is a good God who only does what is good. I may not know what that good will be, but I trust in the God who does. For I know I am safe in his hands.
How about you? Are you learning anything about your heart during this time?
