Psalm 51 and A Prayer of Confession

If you’ve read here for even a short while, you likely know how much I love the Psalms. It’s a book I turn to time and time again. The Psalms mirror my heart in so many ways. They remind me of who God is and what he has done. They remind me where to turn when I need refuge. They remind me that God listens to and hears the deepest cries of my heart. And ultimately, they remind me of Jesus, the One who fulfills each of its 150 songs.

One favorite is David’s psalm where he confesses his sin to the Lord. I’ve learned much from David about confession from this and other psalms. He wrote Psalm 51 after the prophet, Nathan, confronted him for his sin with Bathsheba. The psalm is actually a lament, where David cried out to the Lord for forgiveness. He felt conviction for his sin, so much so, if felt to him like that of broken bones (Psalm 51:8).

David identified that his sin with Bathsheba was ultimately a sin against God (v. 4). He turned to the only One who could provide salvation. “Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow… Hide your face from my sins, and blot out all my iniquities… Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God, O God of my salvation” (vv. 7,9,14). He confessed his sin and sought the Lord’s forgiveness.

Whenever we identify sin in our lives, we need to confess it and receive God’s forgiveness. “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9). Confession involves honesty. We are honest with ourselves and with God. We freely admit what we’ve done. We don’t excuse it or blame others for it. We don’t call it less than it is. We also don’t merely confess our sin in broad strokes as in “Forgive me of all my sins.” We need to be specific about the sins we’ve committed, both those of commission and omission. In Psalm 32, David wrote, “I acknowledged my sin to you, and I did not cover my iniquity; I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the LORD,” and you forgave the iniquity of my sin” (v.5).

Such confession of sin requires humility. We have to humble ourselves before the Lord. We have to recognize that God is God and we are not. We have to rest and rely on his mercy and grace for us in Christ. God poured out his wrath on Christ, the wrath we deserved for sin. In Christ, we are forgiven, justified, and made righteous. In Christ, we know David’s cry has ultimately been fulfilled: “Have mercy on me, O God, according to your steadfast love; according to your abundant mercy blot out my transgressions” (Psalm 51:1).

David’s prayer of confession can shape our own prayers. May we too come before God in honesty and humility, resting in his love and mercy for us in Christ.

A Prayer of Confession

Father,

I come before you grieved and broken by conviction of sin. I feel the weight of that conviction pressing down on me. I agree with the psalmist that it feels like my bones have been crushed. I feel far from you and desire to return to the joy of in being in your presence.

Against you have I sinned. Every sin is a rejection of you as God. It is treason against the King of the universe. Forgive me for my wayward heart. Forgive me for turning to false loves and for seeking life apart from you. Forgive me for not loving others the way that you have loved me. Forgive me for violating your commands. Forgive me for pride and self-righteousness. Forgive me for not loving you with all my heart, mind, and soul.

Through the blood of Christ shed for me, I ask for forgiveness. I thank you that because of Christ, you look at me and see his blood covering my sin. You also see his righteousness; you see his holy life and credit it to me. And because of Jesus, I am united to his Spirit and he is at work in me. Holy Spirit, help me to turn from my sin. Help me to love you with all of my heart. I pray with the psalmist, “Create in me a clean heart O God, and renew a right spirit within me” (Psalm 51:10). Cleanse me and make me new. Conform me to your will. Help me to image Christ.

Because of your forgiveness and grace for me in Christ, I pray that I would do as David wrote, “…my tongue will sing aloud of your righteousness. O Lord, open my lips, and my mouth will declare your praise” (Psalm 51:14-15). May your grace for me compel me to sing your praises and testify of your grace to others.

In Jesus’ name, amen.

5 Reasons to Journal Your Prayers

It was a busy, hectic day.

And right in the midst of it, I received a message from someone that troubled me. The more I ruminated on it, the more I worried and fretted. I told myself to stop thinking about what was bothering me. I tried to focus on the details and duties of the day. But a heaviness weighed on my heart, one that I couldn't shake. I felt overwhelmed by the thoughts and feelings that were churning around in my mind and heart.

And then deep inside arose a desire, a strong thirst to be with God. I felt a desperate longing to just be in my Father's presence and pour my burdens at his feet. I wanted to go into my room, open my prayer journal, sit in the quiet, and cry out to my Father in heaven. But I couldn't just then. So I prayed quick prayers of "God please help me."

Then as soon as I could, I opened my prayer journal to scratch out my thoughts and feelings on paper. I emptied my heart of all that weighed me down and poured out my worrisome thoughts at His feet. I prayed through the gospel, reminding myself of who God is and who I am because of Christ. I reflected on all He has done for me, presenting my prayer wrapped in words of thanksgiving.

Journaling Prayer

I didn't always have this longing to run to God in prayer. There were times in the past where prayer was more of a chore than a desire. It was a task to mark off my to-do list of expected Christian duties. Then about fifteen years ago, I started to journal my prayers. Over time, my prayer life with the Lord became more intentional, focused, and most importantly, more intimate.

Since then, when things trouble me in my day, when I feel overwhelmed by sorrow, when I've sinned and need to confess, when I am burdened by the pain of loved ones, I find myself wanting to turn to God in prayer. I find myself longing to pull out my prayer journal. I look forward to my prayer time. Seeking God in prayer provides rest for my weary and troubled soul. While I do pray all throughout the day and whenever something comes up that I need help with or when a friend calls or texts with a request, when I want to have an extended time of prayer, I write out my prayers.

I know, writing prayers isn't for everyone. Even though I've always loved writing, I didn't think writing my prayers was for me either. And it's certainly not the only or even best way to pray. But if you haven't tried it for yourself, I encourage you to consider it.

5 Benefits to Journaling Prayers

Here are a few reasons why I love journaling my prayers:

1. It keeps me focused: As a mom, distraction is routine for me. There are always interruptions, conflicts, or needs for me to attend to. That's why I started journaling my prayers to begin with. I found myself always starting and stopping my prayer time. In writing my prayers, if I am interrupted for some reason, when I come back to it, I can see where I left off. Writing my prayers also keeps my mind focused. There are so many rabbit trails my mind takes when I pray. In writing my prayers, it's easier for me to stay on task.

2. I am more likely to remember all the elements of prayer: When I write my prayers, I can look over them and see what I have missed. It's easy to jump right into my list of concerns for my life or the life of others and forget all the different elements of prayer that Jesus taught in the Lord's prayer. In writing my prayers, I am more consistent in praising God, confessing sin, asking for help for myself and others, and offering thanksgiving.

3. I can see how God has answered my prayers: Having a prayer journal enables me to look back through the pages and see what God has done. I have a written record of God's faithfulness in my life. I can see how he has answered prayers and moved in my life and in the life of others. I can also see how God has changed me over the course of time as I see how my prayers have changed.

4. It enables me to reflect on what I'm reading in God's word: Tim Keller wrote in his book on prayer that our prayers should come out of what we are reading in his word. He says that prayer is the continuation of a conversation God has started with us in his word. Writing my prayers helps me to be able to reflect on what I've just read in Scripture. I can praise him for what I've learned about who he is in Scripture. I can confess sins that I see in myself from what I've discovered in reading and studying his word. I can also ask for his help to grow me in areas I've read about.

5. I am more honest with God: Writing out my prayers has helped me be more open and honest about what is on my heart. I've learned to come to him just as I am, messy, confused, sinful, and hurting. I describe in vivid words and pictures the state of my heart. I'm honest about the thoughts I've had that are untrue, the temptations I am facing, or the idols I have worshiped. The truth is, God already knows all those things about me. He knows what's on my heart before I do. But the intimacy of prayer helps me to acknowledge those things before him, repent, and seek his help.

How about you? Do you ever write down your prayers?

A Prayer for the New Year

I love new things. Who doesn’t? A new book, a new job, a new experience. Even the smell of a new car. I love new possibilities and new opportunities. I love considering all that the “new” holds.

But to be honest, I often have mixed feelings about new things. What if that new book isn’t that great and I regret buying it? What if the new job is worse than the last? What if the new experience falls flat?

And what if the new year I’ve looked forward to is harder than the previous year?

When I consider this new year—365 empty days waiting and ready to be filled with growth, opportunity, and adventure—I feel a mixture of excitement and anticipation, as well as some worry and apprehension. I look forward to what God will do in my life, the things I will learn, the ways he will stretch me and use me. I look forward to opportunities to be with family and friends and perhaps even make new friends. At the same time, I wonder about the hardships ahead. There are difficulties I face now that will likely intensify next year. There may even be unexpected difficulties ahead as well.

While I don’t know what 2019 holds, I do know the One who holds it.

A Prayer for the New Year

Father in Heaven,

I come before you today feeling a mixture of anticipation and worry. It’s exciting to turn the calendar page to a fresh new year. It’s exciting to consider all that the year holds. I look forward to new opportunities and growth. But at the same time, I wonder what heartaches and challenges lie ahead. And those heartaches I’ve faced this year, I wonder if they’ll continue into the next. I worry I won’t have the strength to endure unexpected change or trials. I guess I’m really not unlike the Israelite’s when they faced an uncertain future away from slavery and thought returning back to Egypt was a safer bet.

Forgive me for my worries and fears about this new year. Forgive me for doubting your goodness and faithfulness. Forgive me for forgetting your constant grace to me and fearing it won’t be there when I need it in the future. Forgive me for forgetting who you are.

While this new year may be filled with transition and change, you are the same yesterday, today, and forever. You never change and your promises remain true through every age.

While I don’t know what this new year holds, you are the Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end. You know the end from the beginning and every moment of this year to come. You know what 2019 holds and just what I need to journey through it.

While I may worry about unknown challenges, and fear I am not ready to face them, you are a good and faithful Father. You only do what is good. Whatever the year holds, it comes from your goodness and will be for my ultimate good.

While circumstances in my life may feel out of control this year, you reign supreme on your throne. You rule over all things. Nothing can happen outside your will and plan. You will never be surprised by anything that happens in 2019.

Help me to rest in who you are this year. Help me to dwell on your goodness and faithfulness. Help me to rely on your sovereign power, knowledge, and rule. Help me to remember that you’ve gone to great lengths to meet my deepest need by sending your Son as a sacrifice for me—how could I think you wouldn’t meet any of my lesser needs? Help me to look at 2019 with hope and trust, knowing that whatever it holds, it is a gift from your good hands.

This new year may be filled with new adventure, change, and opportunity. It may also have some challenges and trials. But every new year is a reminder that you are making all things new. This new year will push forward your Kingdom here on earth and your ultimate return. That is something “new” I long for with great hope and expectation.

I pray all this in Jesus’ name, amen.

Prayer in Jesus' Name

Prayer fascinates me. I’m intrigued by its mystery, its form, and its function. I love learning about prayer: how to pray, why we pray, and how God uses our prayers. I love what prayer does in my heart and how it draws me into sweet communion with my Father in heaven.

Recently, I heard someone pray and noticed that they ended the prayer with a simple “Amen.” It felt like something was missing, like shutting a book closed with one paragraph left unread. Like leaving the movie theater five minutes before the end. Like pulling out the pie from the oven before the crust is golden brown.

And then I realized, the prayer was missing an ingredient: in Jesus’ name. That got me thinking, why do we pray in Jesus’ name? What happens if we don’t? Is it an essential part of our prayers?

Jesus taught the disciples in the Upper Room Discourse that when they ask for something in his name, he will provide it. "'Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever believes in me will also do the works that I do; and greater works than these will he do, because I am going to the Father. Whatever you ask in my name, this I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask me anything in my name, I will do it'" (John 14:12-14). "'You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you'" (John 15:16).

Some prosperity gospel advocates claim that if you don’t pray in Jesus’ name, you won’t get the blessings you ask for. It’s like having an all access pass or an invite to an invitation only event. If you don’t have it, you don’t get in. They use it as a stamp of approval for their prayers. It's the final number in a series of codes that opens the door to blessings and prosperity. It's more like a magic formula than coming to our Father in heaven and asking him to meet our needs.

That's not why we pray in Jesus' name.

We pray in Jesus’ name because he is the one who broke down the barrier between us and God. When he hung on the cross and cried out his last breath, the curtain in the temple was torn in two. That curtain symbolized the barrier between God and mankind. We couldn’t pass through it to be in his presence because he is holy and we are not. But because of Jesus’ perfect and complete sacrifice for us on the cross, that barrier was removed. The curtain was torn.

Through faith in what Christ has done for us in his perfect life, sacrificial death, triumphant resurrection, and ascension, we are united to him. We are now clothed in Jesus’ righteousness and have access to God’s presence. We can come to him in prayer through Jesus. “In him and through faith in him we may approach God with freedom and confidence” (Ephesians 3:12, NIV). Our Father is now our Abba; we come to him as children, as his children, seeking help for what we need. That’s why the author to the Hebrews encourages us to come to the throne with confidence, "Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need" (Hebrews 4:16).

John Calvin said this about prayer in Jesus’ name: "Since no man is worthy to present himself to God and come into his sight, the Heavenly Father himself, to free us at once from shame and fear, which might well have thrown our hearts into despair, has give us his Son, Jesus Christ our Lord, to be our advocate and mediator with him, by whose guidance we may confidently come to him, and with such an intercessor, trusting nothing we ask in his name will be denied us, as nothing can be denied to him by the Father." (Institutes, XX.17).

Calvin also points out that those who call on God in any name other than Jesus Christ, have no promise of receiving anything. All of God's promises are confirmed and fulfilled in Christ alone. "For all the promises of God find their Yes in him. That is why it is through him that we utter our Amen to God for his glory" (2 Corinthians 1:20). 

Praying in Jesus' name reminds us why we come to God in prayer. It reminds us of what Jesus did for us. It reminds us that all of the promises and blessings God has for us, comes to us through Christ alone.

Now, as to what we ought to pray for in Jesus' name, that's for another post, another day.

Remember Your God

Life is filled with questions: What should I do? How will I do ____? Why did ___ happen?

For the believer, it’s no different. We wonder why God allowed a particular hardship into our lives. We wonder how we will endure a season of suffering. When we stand at a crossroads, we wonder which way we should go. When we encounter obstacles, we desire wisdom to know how to get around them. When life is confusing and uncertain, we want direction, purpose, and certainty.

Jeremiah’s Uncertainty

The prophet Jeremiah found himself faced with uncertainty, questions, and a desire to know what to do. Jeremiah had been called to speak to God’s people about pending judgement for their sin. He prophesied that Babylon would conquer them and take them into captivity. As Babylon surrounded the city of Jerusalem and besieged it, Jeremiah was locked up in prison by the king, Zedekiah for prophesying about their pending capture. God then told Jeremiah to do a curious thing: purchase a piece of land.

“The word that came to Jeremiah from the LORD in the tenth year of Zedekiah king of Judah, which was the eighteenth year of Nebuchadnezzar. At that time the army of the king of Babylon was besieging Jerusalem, and Jeremiah the prophet was shut up in the court of the guard that was in the palace of the king of Judah…Jeremiah said, “The word of the LORD came to me: Behold, Hanamel the son of Shallum your uncle will come to you and say, ‘Buy my field that is at Anathoth, for the right of redemption by purchase is yours.’ Then Hanamel my cousin came to me in the court of the guard, in accordance with the word of the LORD, and said to me, ‘Buy my field…’” (Jeremiah 32:1-2,6-8).

Buy a field at a time when Jerusalem is under attack and will be taken away into captivity? Doesn’t that conflict with what God said would happen? Zedekiah was so offended by Jeremiah’s prophesy of captivity, he had him arrested. Wouldn’t buying a field say that Jeremiah didn’t believe his own prophecy?

Jeremiah’s Prayer

Jeremiah obeyed the Lord and purchased the field. After he purchased the land, he was still confused and concerned about it. So he prayed to the Lord.

“After I had given the deed of purchase to Baruch the son of Neriah, I prayed to the LORD, saying: ‘Ah, Lord GOD! It is you who have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and by your outstretched arm! Nothing is too hard for you” (Jeremiah 32:16-17).

Many times, we as believers find ourselves in a season of life, a crossroads, a trial, and don’t understand what is happening. We don’t know what God is doing or why. Like Jeremiah, we believe and trust God, but still feel confused and uncertain. Like Jeremiah, we obey and follow God’s word, but still have doubts. Jeremiah’s prayer here is helpful for us as we deal with our own uncertainties. We too ought to cry out to God, asking the tough questions.

Jeremiah began his prayer focusing on who God is and what he has done. He praised God for his power and sovereignty, for his love and faithfulness (see vv. 16-20). Then he rehearsed the history of redemption, of God’s salvific work in rescuing them from slavery and bringing them to the Promised Land.

“You brought your people Israel out of the land of Egypt with signs and wonders, with a strong hand and outstretched arm, and with great terror. And you gave them this land, which you swore to their fathers to give them, a land flowing with milk and honey” (vv. 21-22).

Jeremiah then moved to the present where Babylon was building siege ramps to attack Jerusalem. He prayed, “What you spoke has come to pass, and behold, you see it” (v. 24). He ends his prayer, expressing his concern, confusion, and doubt, “Yet you, O Lord GOD, have said to me, “Buy the field for money and get witnesses”—though the city is given into the hands of the Chaldeans.’” (v. 25).

When We Have Doubts

In our own prayers, we too need to remember who God is and what he has done. We too can rehearse the story of redemption in our prayers. On this side of the cross, we rehearse the gospel. We remember that the promised Redeemer came and rescued us from slavery to sin. We remember that God wrapped himself in human flesh and incarnated himself among us. We dwell on Jesus’ perfect life, death, and resurrection. We rejoice that we have a Savior who knows our sorrows and wept tears of his own. We look to our future hope in eternity.

As Jeremiah did, we also pray about God’s character, who he is in his sovereignty and power, his love and faithfulness, his wisdom and justice. We see all these traits meet in the person and work of Christ. All that God has promised has come to pass. His word is true and sure.

Like Jeremiah, we can present our questions, our concerns, our fears, and our doubts. We can ask, “why?” “how?” “what?” Because of Jesus, we can come to the throne of grace with confidence and find grace to help us in our time of need (Heb. 4:16).

Ultimately, we learn that God will bring the people back to the land. He will keep his covenant with them. The purpose in Jeremiah purchasing the land was to show that the land would still be there for their return. It was to point to a future hope (see vv. 36-44).

Life in this fallen world is hard. We have many questions. Sometimes life is so shrouded with the fog of uncertainty, it’s hard to know where to go next. We struggle with doubts. Yet, even when we don’t understand what is happening, we obey God’s word. And we cry out to him in prayer. We remind ourselves that though we don’t know or understand the future, God does. We remember all he has done for us in Christ. It’s not the strength of our faith that sustains us during confusing times. It’s who our faith is in. It’s the object of our faith which carries us through: Jesus Christ. Turn to him and remember your God today.  

3 Things to Do in Your Waiting

I spend much of my life waiting for something: for the light to change, for a response to my text or email, for the nurse to call my name. I wait for hard things, like answers to blood tests and for good things, like a vacation to start. I wait for dreams to come true and for answered prayers. 

In many ways, the Christian life is one of waiting. We live in the in-between, a time between Christ's ascension and his promised return. We wait for Christ to come and make all things new. We wait for his glory to be revealed and his promises fulfilled. We wait for eternity where we will live forever worshiping our Savior.

Waiting is hard because we are impatient by nature. We want to speed things up and make things happen. We want things to take place on our time table. We look at waiting as wasted time—time we could be using for other things. We can't see waiting as productive and important in and of itself.  We treat it like a no-man's land, a purgatory of sorts between where we've been and where we want to go. 

Yet the Bible encourages waiting and sees it as a good thing, particularly a specific kind of waiting: waiting on the Lord. "The LORD is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him. It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD" (Lamentations 3:25-26). "From of old no one has heard or perceived by the ear, no eye has seen a God besides you, who acts for those who wait for him" (Isaiah 64:4).

Waiting doesn't mean not doing anything. It doesn't necessarily entail idleness or sitting still. In the Bible, waiting is a posture of the heart. It's a humble reliance upon the One who rules all things and holds all things together. It's living out the knowledge that God is good and faithful and will always be so. Biblical waiting requires hope and trust in our steadfast God.

In the passage above from Lamentations, waiting is described as "the soul who seeks him." This means there is work to be done in our waiting, important work.

What can we do in our waiting?

Wait in Prayer: As we wait on the Lord to move in our lives and in those around us, we seek him in prayer. Whatever we are waiting for—healing, restoration, provision, rescue—we cry out to the Lord in prayer. The Psalms of Lament are prayers of waiting for God to come to the rescue, whether for an individual or for God's people as a whole. These prayers are one's we can model and pray ourselves. And we don't just pray once, we pray repeatedly, telling the Lord our troubles, seeking his help, and responding to him with trust and praise. 

Watch with Hope: We also watch for God to move. We wait with expectation. While God may not answer our prayers in the exact way we request, we know he is faithful. We know he loves us in Christ and he will do all for his glory and our good. So we wait with anticipatory hope. We look for his glory in our life. We look for his providential hand at work in all things. We trace his grace in all the details of our days, from the littlest things to the biggest. Like a child on Christmas Eve who can't fall asleep, excited for Christmas morning, we wait for our Father with hope.  

Wonder with Joy: As we pray and watch for God's work, we wonder and marvel at his grace. We are his children, chosen in Christ before the creation of world. Through the blood of the Son, we are made holy, set apart for good works. We have a Father who cares about all the details of our lives, down to the number of hairs on our head. He knows what we need before we ask it. We have the down payment of our inheritance through the Spirit living within us, who comforts, guides, teaches, and exhorts us in righteousness. For all this and more, we wait in joy, because we know the One for whom we wait. 

Waiting is hard. But good things happen in our hearts when we wait on the Lord. As we draw near to him in prayer, seeking him as our refuge, and watching for him to move, we can't help but wonder at his generous grace for us. As you wait on the Lord today, know that your waiting is not wasted time. It's not in vain. For you wait on the God who rules the universe and the One who has proven his faithfulness to you in Christ. So pray. Watch. And wonder.