When Healing Hurts

"I'm sorry, I know this hurts but it's what we have to do to heal your arm."

That's what the physical therapist said as he dug his fingers deep into my forearm. I have tendinitis or what is commonly called, tennis elbow. And no, it's not from playing tennis, but from writing. The pain has kept me from my usual writing schedule. In fact, it has interfered with every area of my life because I use my right arm for everything. 

As the therapist massaged the tendon in my arm, he explained that he was separating the scar tissue that had formed. Then he told me that I would have to do the same at home. 

To be honest, what he did to my arm hurt more than the tendinitis. It felt like he was stabbing at an open wound. And didn't he realize I chose physical therapy because I preferred not to receive injections in my arm?

Growing Pains

The idea that we have to endure pain in order to heal is not isolated to the physical realm. This is true in our spiritual lives as well. When we encounter God's grace and he makes us his child through faith in Christ, he doesn't leave us as we are. Upon salvation, though we are changed in the eyes of God as he looks at us and sees Christ's righteousness and not our sin, he doesn't make us perfect right then and there. Rather, he changes and transforms us through a process theologians call sanctification. This process is compared to a refiner's fire where the gold or silver's impurities are melted away, leaving the pure and valuable substance behind (Malachi 3). 

What that means is, when I ask God to transform me, to make me more like Christ, he doesn't instantly change me. He strips away my sin through a multitude of circumstances and situations. For example, when I pray and ask God to make me patient, I don't wake up the next morning a patient person. Instead, God gives me opportunities to learn and practice patience. He might even allow frustrating situations into my life that stretch my patience. He might also open my eyes, through the work of his Spirit, to see my impatience so that I might repent and seek his forgiveness. All of this is hard work and sometimes painful. 

This pain is felt in varying ways and degrees. Sometimes it comes through a trial as our faith is tried and tested and we learn to rely and depend upon Christ. Other times this pain is felt as God disciplines us for our sin. We also feel it as we stretch and grow in our faith, not unlike the growing pains of childhood. And other times it is felt as God cuts us off from our idols, forcing us to turn back to him. Whatever the degree or source of pain, it is all used for our good and His glory.  

Pain that Heals

I tend to avoid pain, thus the reason for my visit to the physical therapist. Only I was surprised to learn that I couldn't avoid it if I wanted to heal and have my arm back to normal. Likewise, we can't avoid the pain of sanctification if we want to grow in holiness. That's our goal, to image Christ and be like him. Our Savior showed us that the way to healing was through the cross, through death, and he calls us to follow him in it. "He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed" (1 Peter 2:24). We are new creations, and as such, we have to put to death those things from our former life, those things that are not in keeping with our new identity as redeemed children of God. "Do not present your members to sin as instruments for unrighteousness, but present yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life, and your members to God as instruments for righteousness" (Romans 6:13).

Therefore, we endure hardship, suffering, and trials because they are the means by which God shapes us and refines us. We know that he has a good purpose and plan for us and that the end result will be righteousness. "It is for discipline that you have to endure...For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it" (Hebrews 12:7,11). "In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ" (1 Peter 1:6-7).

Whenever I struggle with the pain of sanctification, I often think of Eustice in the Voyage of the Dawn Treader. While their ship was anchored at an island, Eustice wandered off from everyone else to do his own thing. He found a cave filled with gold and treasures and in his greed, wanted it for himself. As a result, he turned into a dragon, covered in scales. "He had turned into a dragon while he was asleep. Sleeping on a dragon's hoard with greedy, dragonish thoughts in his heart, he had become a dragon himself." (p. 75)

Aslan later found him and removed his dragon skin from him. It was painful but it made him a boy again: "The very first tear he made was so deep that I thought it had gone right into my heart. And when he began pulling the skin off, it hurt worse than anything I've ever felt. The only thing that made me able to bear it was just the pleasure of feeling the stuff peel off." (p. 90)

Being refined is painful but it's a good pain. It is a necessary pain. It's a pain that heals. But a day is coming when we will finally shed the last remnants of this sinful and broken life for good. I, for one, long for that day. Don't you?

Your Work Never Goes Unseen

About five years ago, I spent months working on a book proposal. Various friends spent weeks helping me edit it. And then it was rejected by more publishers than I care to recount. Since then, it has sat forgotten tucked away in the depths of my computer files, and if it were possible, collecting dust.

I recently remarked to a friend that one of the hardest things about writing is when something isn't used. When hours are spent crafting just the right sentence, when I've woven my heart and soul into each paragraph, and it is never read, it makes all the time, effort, and energy seem like a waste. It's disheartening and discouraging.

But writing isn't the only thing I put energy into that no one sees. There are countless things throughout the day I work on that goes unnoticed by those around me. The laundry I fold and put away. The items I pick up off the floor and return to rightful homes. The time and effort I pour into my children's heart and spiritual growth. The intercessory prayers I pray for others. 

There are many things I sacrifice for and put energy into that go unnoticed. Things that I might invest in and never see fruit develop. Decisions and choices I make for the benefit of those around me. Sacrifices of time and effort to serve and provide for others. And sometimes I grow weary and wonder, is it worth it?

Friends, perhaps you grow weary too. After changing hundreds of diapers, cleaning up the house at the end of each day only to have to repeat it again the next, working hard at a job where no one seems to care, helping the unappreciative, or writing words no one sees, we can start to think, why bother? 

But here's the truth: 

God sees.

And all things done for his glory and in his name are never wasted. That includes the laundry we fold, the meals we prepare, and all the quiet, mundane acts of service we provide for our family. It includes the efforts to do the right thing when it would be easier not to. It includes working hard even when no one else cares to. It includes ceaseless prayers with a prostrate heart. And it includes even the strings of words that lie dormant on my hard drive. All work done for God's sake is good work, whether anyone sees it or not.  

This is what we are called to do, "So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God" (1 Corinthians 10:31). "And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him" (Colossians 3:17). Our work is done for God's glory and fame, not our own. It's not done for the praise or accolades of man but for the sake of our Savior.

We work hard because Christ first worked for us. His holy, perfect, and righteous work in obeying the law in our stead was given to us. His sacrificial work on our behalf at the cross paid the penalty we were due. His work paved the way for all the work we do, the seen and unseen, the mundane and the spectacular, the boring and the interesting, the easy and the hard. Because of the work Christ did for us, all our work is done through him and for him.

"So ought you to behave this day, and every day; for you belong wholly to him who loved you, and gave himself for you. Let the love of Christ constrain us in this matter: let us put on the yoke of Christ, and feel at once that we are his blood-bought possession, and his servants for ever, because by faith he has become ours and we are his. We ought to live as Christ's men in every little as well as in every great matter; whether we eat or drink, or whatsoever we do, we should do all to the glory of God, giving thanks unto God and the Father by Christ Jesus. Thus, you see, faith in him who gave himself for us leads us to spend our energies in his service, and to do our ordinary work with an eye to his glory, and so our life is coloured and savoured by our faith in the Son of God."-Charles Spurgeon

And God promises that our work for him will not be wasted, "For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith" (Galatians 6:8-10). We are also assured that the work he is doing in and through us will be completed upon his return, "And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ" (Philippians 1:6).

So friends, if you are working hard for the Lord, don't give up. Don't despair. All your work done for God's glory is storing up for you eternal treasures that far outweigh any accolades or acknowledgement in the here and now. None of it is wasted or lost. Your quiet faithfulness in all things, even in the unseen and in the monotonous and mundane, is seen by your Father in Heaven. So let your Savior's holy and sacrificial work for you be your motivation and joy for service. 

Living for Christ in the In-between

In a recent trip to Indianapolis, my flight was delayed in leaving. After we finally did leave, when we got to the Indianapolis area, there were bad storms so the pilot circled the city for a while. Finally, so as not to run out of fuel, he flew us to Dayton, Ohio where we sat on the tarmac and waited to find out what would happen. 

Having a flight disrupted like that is hard for travelers. But on this particular flight, I was surprised by the responses of those on the plane. Rather than complain or cause disruption, there were conversations and laughter. None of us knew if we would get to Indianapolis that day or not. Many people missed connecting flights. Yet everyone was kind and courteous. I saw multiple people go out of their way to help an elderly woman. I heard women singing hymns in the back of the plane. I saw friendships form. And even the woman sitting next to me, though frustrated that she wouldn't make it home that evening, was able to laugh with me about it. 

There are many times in our life where we are stuck in-between where we were and where we are going. We do a lot of waiting in those in-between times. Whether it is a new job, a marriage proposal, a baby, a house, ministry opportunities, a relationship to be restored, or health to return, we wait for things to happen, for things to change. In fact, our entire lives is lived in an in-between place as we wait for our Savior's second return. 

Not only do we spend much of our lives in the in-between, but we also struggle to wait on God during that time. And so did God’s people in Scripture.

Waiting, Idol Making, and Sin

In Exodus 19, Moses went up Mount Sinai to meet with God. He was there for a long time. God instructed him in the laws and rules for the community, for worship, and gave him the ten commandments. All the while, down below, the people waited. And they waited. Finally, they were tired of waiting for Moses. “When the people saw that Moses delayed to come down from the mountain, the people gathered themselves together to Aaron and said to him, “Up, make us gods who shall go before us. As for this Moses, the man who brought us up out of the land of Egypt, we do not know what has become of him.” (Exodus 32:1-20).

The Israelite's created an idol to worship while they waited. It seems ridiculous to us. God was right above them on the mountain and they create an idol out of gold to worship? But the truth is, we do the same things. How often do we seek false idols and counterfeit substitutes to meet the needs that only God can meet? How often do we too grow tired of waiting on God to move in our lives that we turn elsewhere for comfort and peace?

 In 1 Samuel 13, King Saul was at war with the Philistines and feared losing. He wanted to seek the favor of the Lord and offer a sacrifice. He waited for Samuel to come and make the sacrifice. “He waited seven days, the time appointed by Samuel. But Samuel did not come to Gilgal, and the people were scattering from him. So Saul said, “Bring the burnt offering here to me, and the peace offerings.” And he offered the burnt offering.” (13:8-9). Then Samuel arrived and said, “You have done foolishly. You have not kept the command of the LORD your God, with which he commanded you. For then the LORD would have established your kingdom over Israel forever. But now your kingdom shall not continue (vs 13-14).

Sometimes in our waiting, we decide that God isn’t going to show up. We decide to move forward and do things our way. We rebel against God's good and perfect commands and sin. We outright defy what we know is right.

How Then Shall we Live in the In-between?

The prophet in Lamentations wrote, “It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD” (3:26). It is good to wait on the Lord. Waiting is good. In fact there is much that happens in that place of waiting. Redemptive things happen there. 

Waiting, whether it’s for an answer to prayer or for Christ’s return, is about resting in the truth of who God is and believing in his promises for us. God is sovereign over all the affairs of our lives. He knows the end from the beginning and will carry out his plan to completion. Waiting requires trust in our sovereign God’s goodness and faithfulness. It means we have to seek him rather than false substitutes. It means we have to work through what we really believe and expect and desire and hold them up to the light of his word. 

It also means we have to be watchful. When our hearts are turned to false idols or we are tempted to sin, we miss what God is doing. When we are prayerfully watching and waiting for God, we can trace his story and see him move in our lives. We can read each line of the drama as it unfolds. The more we seek his glory, the more we are amazed. We’ll see his providence in the smallest details of our lives and know that he is working in both the big and small to fulfill his purposes for us. Though the story he writes for us may not look like the one we would write, we can be assured that it is for our good and his glory.

So, when we are stuck on the tarmac of life, do we just sit around and do nothing? No. We live life, seeking God’s glory, wherever we are in the in-between. In Jeremiah 29, God’s people were in exile. They would be there for seventy years. What a long time of waiting in the in-between! The prophet instructed them to live their life. “Build houses and settle down; plant gardens and eat what they produce. Marry and have sons and daughters; find wives for your sons and give your daughters in marriage, so that they too may have sons and daughters. Increase in number there; do not decrease. Also, seek the peace and prosperity of the city to which I have carried you into exile. Pray to the Lord for it, because if it prospers, you too will prosper” (vs. 5-7).

When we are waiting on God, we need to live our lives. We need to work and be productive. We need to continue pursuing the works of the Kingdom. We need to serve our families. We need to do the normal things of life. We need to be a light and salt in our communities.

As long as we live on this earth, we will wait for something. We will always be in-between. We are pilgrims on a journey and though we are not home yet, we need to live for Christ wherever we are and however long we wait.   

For the Always Wandering Heart

My heart is fickle. Wayward. Wandering. 

Sometimes I am blind to it and think I am faithful. But then God holds a mirror up to my heart and I see the truth.

We are in the midst of a big move for us. When I learned that we would move, I was thrilled. It's something I've wanted for a long time. Then my husband sustained an injury requiring surgery and weeks of recovery and I thought, "There's no way we can get ready to move now!" God then graced us with people to help us get our house ready to sell and we got it on the market. I praised God for the provision and then when we had a contract, I worried that it wouldn't go through. Then I worried that we wouldn't find the right house in the town we are moving to...

I think you get the picture.

One day I will sing praises to God about His wonders and grace. I'll testify to everyone around me about what He has done and how He has answered my prayers. The next day, I'll face unexpected challenges and uphill battles. Things don't go my way. It's one obstacle after another. I grumble and complain. As those challenges intensify, I question God and begin to doubt the very grace I praised just the day before.

I am a lot like the Israelite's.

Wayward Wanderers

After God called Moses to deliver the Israelite's from slavery in Egypt, Moses and Aaron met with the elders and leaders of Israel to tell them all that God had told them. "And the people believed; and when they heard that the Lord had visited the people of Israel and that he had seen their affliction, they bowed their heads and worshipped" (Exodus 4:31). So far so good, right?

Shortly after Moses and Aaron confronted Pharaoh the first time, he made the work even harder on God's people. He took away the straw they were using to make bricks, yet demanded that they continue to produce the same quantity. In response, the people went to Moses and Aaron and said, "The Lord look on you and judge, because you have made us stink in the sight of Pharaoh and his servants, and have put a sword in their hand to kill us" (Exodus 5:21).

As we know, after the ten plagues, Pharaoh finally let them go. But Pharaoh and his men pursued them to the Red Sea. The people saw the army coming after them and even though they had seen the amazing and mighty hand of God at work during the plagues, they responded to Moses, "Is it because there are no graves in Egypt that you have taken us away to die in the wilderness? What have you done to us in bringing us out of Egypt? Is not this what we said to you in Egypt: 'Leave us alone that we may serve the Egyptians'? For it would have been better for us to serve the Egyptians than to die in the wilderness" (Exodus 14:12).

This response wasn't just something that happened occasionally. It became a pattern. Every time the Israelite's faced a challenge, trial, or obstacle, they reacted with anger and doubted God. In fact, they were stuck in the wilderness for forty years because of their constant complaining, doubting, and their ungrateful, stiff-necked responses toward Moses and God.

The Only Cure for Wandering Hearts

In Numbers 21, God punished the Israelite's for their faithlessness by sending fiery serpents which bit many and they died. The people cried out to Moses to pray for them, to intercede on their behalf. God didn't wipe out all the serpents, instead he told Moses to create a snake out of bronze and put it up on a pole in the midst of the camp. Whenever someone had been bitten by a serpent, they were to look to the bronze snake and be healed.

In John 3, Jesus referred to this passage in Numbers when Nicodemus sought him out in the dark of night. This is the same chapter of John where we find that beloved verse, John 3:16. Right before that famous passage, Jesus tells Nicodemus, "Just as Moses lifted up the snake in the wilderness, so the Son of Man must be lifted up, that everyone who believes may have eternal life in him" (vs. 14-15).

There is only one cure for wayward, fickle, and wandering hearts: the cross of Jesus Christ. We all have the venom of sin flowing through us. We are all terminal; the prognosis is eternal death. Only through faith in the substitutionary work of Christ on our behalf can we be saved.

Jesus entered the wilderness of this life for us. He experienced all the same heartache, grief, temptations, and pains of this forsaken world as we experience, yet he never sinned. He too encountered a serpent during his own forty day trek in the wilderness but never gave in to temptation. Jesus became sin for us, was cursed for us, and took the punishment we deserved, so that we might look to him and live.

Like the Israelite's, we are faithless. We are wayward and fickle and our hearts are prone to wander. We doubt God's goodness and question his love for us. Yet God is faithful. Because of Christ's work on our behalf, and through faith in what he has done, we are eternally secure in his love. It will never waver. No matter how faithless we are, God will never love us any less. There is nothing we or anyone else can do that will separate us from the love God has for us in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:38-39). Our emotions may ebb and flow. Our doubts may come and go with the winds of circumstance. But God's steadfast love and grace remains secure. 

As the hymn goes:

"O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I'm constrained to be!
Let Thy goodness, like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to Thee:
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here's my heart, O take and seal it;
Seal it for Thy courts above."

The Israelite's didn't deserve a cure for their serpent bites and we don't deserve one for our sin either. But in the wonder of God's amazing race he has provided a cure. It's the only cure. We simply have to look to the cross and believe.

Finding Peace in the Chaos

I often tell people that in our family, I am Eeyore and my husband is Tigger.

There is an episode of Winnie the Pooh I watched once when my kids were little where Tigger convinced Eeyore to add a Tigger tail to his own tail so he could be more like Tigger. It didn't work out so well. When I saw it, I said, "That's me! That's my life!"

In all seriousness, my life is often quite chaotic and I feel like I am an Eeyore being dragged around by a Tigger. Life is fast faced. I juggle more plates than seems possible.  And in recent months, it has never been more so.

My husband broke his ankle right after Christmas, which required surgery, and weeks and weeks of not walking. Add to that a house on the market to sell. Homeschool. New ministry projects. Speaking engagements. The kids activities. Helping my husband get around. 

By nature, I don't like chaos. I like things slow and manageable. I like to have time to think. I need preparation before moving on to the next thing. Chaos is overwhelming to me. I want to run from it. I resist it. But God knows what I need and in his good purposes for me, he often puts me right in the middle of chaos. It is in those uncomfortable places where God does his work in us. In those places that we resist is often where we really need to be. This is where we are stretched and molded and shaped into the likeness of Christ.

In my own chaos, I have found Christ to be sufficient. That doesn't mean he takes away the chaos, though sometimes he does. More often than not though, he calls me to do more than seems humanly possible and then provides just what I need to do it. He even somehow magnifies my time. 

It is in the chaos where I see his grace at work. I see his glory on display and am humbled. But above all, he gives me peace that is beyond comprehension (Phil 4:7). Gospel peace. Peace from knowing that he rules and reigns over all things. Peace from knowing that no detail of my life is left to chance. Peace that comes from resting in the truth of who Christ is and what he has done for me. And peace because I know his love for me is complete and unwavering. 

It is also in the chaos of life where I see more clearly that life isn't about me or my comfort or my strength. It's not about how organized I am. It's not about how well I excel at spiritual disciplines or how much I believe in God's promises. It's really about God's good purposes, God's time, and God's plan. It's about him using all things for my ultimate spiritual good. It's about him stripping me of my reliance on self, my idols of comfort and control, and my well constructed plans for my life. It's about humbling me and exalting the work of Christ in my life.

Chaos is frightening for many of us. It's overwhelming. It magnifies our helplessness. So we run from it or try to manage it. But the truth is, some of us really need chaos in our life because it shows us our need for Christ. It forces us to turn to him in humble reliance upon his grace. And in the shadow of our Savior's wings, there's no safer, more peaceful place to be.

"Truly my soul finds rest in God; my salvation comes from him" (Psalm 62:1 NIV).

The Gift of Sanctification

Before any birthday party or the annual mayhem of Christmas morning, I always prepare my children for what to say when they open a present. I tell them that no matter what they open — whether it is something they like or not — they are to smile and say, “Thank you,” to the giver.

No matter how old we are, it’s always fun to receive a gift. However, as adults we know that though something is wrapped pretty on the outside, it might fail to deliver on the inside. While other gifts, like the ones our children might wrap for us, look wrinkled, bent, and worn, yet contain the sweetest and most precious handmade creations.

God gives many gifts to us as his adopted children. Our salvation is a gift of God’s grace that we cherish and celebrate every day. It’s never bitter. But salvation’s not the only gift God gives us. He also graces us in our sanctification. It’s a gift that is often not wrapped up with a pretty bow. Sometimes this gift is one that we treat like an unwanted Christmas sweater or a well-meaning fruitcake. We might not even recognize it is a gift at all.

Until we look closer...to read the rest of this post, visit Desiring God, my writing home today.